tuyee_holistic_services_llc

03/18/2024

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04/14/2023

There are 4 main types of attachment styles.

Anxious Ambivalent: Individuals with this attachment style are clingy, fear abandonment & loneliness, exhibit insecurities within themselves & require a lot of validation & reassurance from their partner & lack boundaries. Adults with this attachment have a low sense of self & high sense of others. This reaction results from inconsistent parenting styles during their childhood in which one parent was emotionally available & the other parent was emotionally neglected or inconsistent.

Avoidant Resistant: Individuals with this attachment styles tend are afraid to becoming emotionally attached & are highly independent. Adults with this attachment set overly high boundaries & do not let people in. They are not intune with intimacy & romance as will take any opportunity to run away from their problems & isolate. They are comfortable being alone & fear close attachments with people. Adults with this attachment have a low sense of self & low sense of others. This reaction results from parents who lack emotional support during their childhood. They did not receive affection from their parents & sometimes absence from their parents during their childhood.

Avoidant Dismissive: Individuals with this attachment style tend to push people away & will jeopardize the relationship through self sabotage in order to boost their esteem. Individuals with this attachment have difficulty trusting others & are emotionally unavailable or cold. They are afraid to let people in & establish walls to protect their emotions. This reaction results from parents who were emotionally dismissive during childhood & often times repress their child’s feelings by shutting them down, therefore creating an adult with conflicting emotions with a high sense of self & low sense of others.

Secure: Individuals with this attachment are secure with themselves & are able to have long lasting relationships. They are able to regulate their emotions, emotionally available & communicate effectively. They are comfortable being alone & comfortable being with others with a high sense of self & others.

03/14/2023

Attachment styles play a major role in the adults that you have morphed into. Your attachment styles with your parents are the blueprint to the way you love & the way you engage in interpersonal & intimate relationships from childhood to adulthood.

Anxious/Ambivalent attachment styles stem from parents who are inconsistent in providing their child’s basic needs & emotional needs. They fluctuate from being consistent to avoidant towards their child.

An avoidant attachment style stems from parents who are neglectful & give little to no attention their child’s emotional & physical needs. Parents are usually dismissive toward their child.

Secure attachment stems from parents who provide an appropriate amount of attention their child such ass ability to communicate to their child effectively, provide room for care & open feedback & ability to regulate their child’s emotional outburst. Parents who provide secure attachment are supportive emotionally & physically, patient, nurturing, practical & assertive.

Which attachment style do you resonate with the most?

03/03/2023

Do you often times feel drained from your job & have no energy or little to no motivation to work? It may be that strict boundaries have not been established from the beginning & you may be biting more than you can chew. Or it may be that this is not the job for you. A lack of boundaries at your place of work can create burn out! Often times we set the tone for supervisors’ & colleagues’ unrealistic expectations of us because we take on any & every tasks that they require of us despite not have the mental capacity to do so. It’s never too late to implement limitations! Just keep in mind people who no longer have access to you will not be receptive to your boundaries because they no longer have control of you! Boundaries are not for others but rather for your peace of mind & self preservation 💆🏽‍♀️

03/02/2023

Setting boundaries is very important to prevent burn out, reduce the potential of conflict & misunderstandings in relationships & setting the tone of how you want people to treat you.

Practice setting these type of boundaries with your partner & set your expectations! There is nothing wrong with setting expectations as long as they are realistic & attainable.

03/01/2023

Good Morning!☀️
Motivational quote of the day! Say this on your drive to work! ☺️
“I am grateful to wake up another day with food in my fridge, clothes on my back, shelter & flowing income!”

02/24/2023

Do you have a tendency to say yes to people all the time? Do you have a hard time setting boundaries with others & with yourself?

It may be due to fear of judgment by others & a flawed perspective of thinking you’re being selfish. People pleasing tendencies often times come from caretaking roles during childhood & taking on the responsibility of saving people. When you say yes all the time, you’re enabling the behaviors of unrealistic expectations from others and as a result bite off more than you can chew.

In order to get out of that mindset, remind yourself that you are not responsible for other people’s reactions to your boundaries & remember that people will not be okay with your boundaries because they no longer have access to you.

02/23/2023

We are 1 day away from the Black Table Talk event at !
Join us in Queens, NY tomorrow this Saturday at 7pm at the Guggin Cafe. In memoranda of Black History Month, we will be discussing the physical mental health challenges in the minority communities. Sharing tips & tools on wellness, physical health, mental health & ways to preserve our legacy. Let’s break the mental health stigma in our societies! Lets not forget food & drinks are available for purchase! Hope to see you all there!

02/22/2023

Sometimes we struggle with the idea of letting go of certain relationships/friendships due to fear of starting over, fear of trusting again & fear of loosing the fun & excitement in our lives, etc. instead of viewing the relationship/friendship as a loss, view it as a time in your life in which you benefited from their support, view it as lessons learned & lastly view it as a great opportunity in which you leaned more about yourself. You are in the now, the friendship/relationship has run it’s course & there is enough evidence for you to recognize that they are no longer beneficial to your emotional & personal growth. Tell yourself, it is okay to let go. 😌 Live, laugh, love, cry, learn & let go.

02/21/2023

Trauma bonding is an unhealthy bond of emotional or physical attachment created from familiar forms of abuse.

There are misconceptions that this type of bond occurs only between intimate partners but that is not the case. You can form an unhealthy bond with anyone actually especially if you have not worked through or healed from your traumas.

This type of unhealthy attachment alternates from abuse to reinforcements. Reinforcements from an abuser may look like love bombing, affection, physical touch, gift giving, compliments, grandiose gestures, random acts of service, etc. This makes the affection in the relationship more valuable to the abused & leaves the them holding on to hope for more attention. Therefore creating a toxic pattern of dependency. The longer you stay in the cycle, the more difficult it becomes to walk away.

02/19/2023

Do you ever wonder why you’re easily triggered by certain situations, people or places? It may be due to familiar patterns of behaviors that you were exposed to during your childhood. Generation traumas are patterns of behaviors passed down from family members that are usually unhealthy & unconscious. You may feel the need to control everything at all times & can’t take a step back or you may be completely detested by the idea of someone trying to control you. This may come from the blueprint you were given growing up. It may come from unhealthy patterns of behaviors that your parents have normalized in your life. To break out of generational traumas:
1. Acknowledge that you may have a problem.
2. Be receptive to change & constructive feedback. Don’t fight it. It is helping you create awareness of your toxic patterns.
3. Do the opposite of what you are used to doing. Eg. If you are a reactive, person, delay your response to that trigger & think before you act or speak.

02/19/2023

02/17/2023

Happy Friday! Wise words for the day! Make it a priority to protect your peace & preserve your energy at all times. You are in control of the people & energy that you allow into your life whether friends, family or foe. Don’t allow negative influences to interrupt your vibrations. Live, laugh, love,
let go & set those boundaries!

02/15/2023

Hi Everyone! Welcome to Tuyee’s Holistic Services LLC. My name is Phyllis Williams. I am an Associate Professional Counselor licensed in the state of GA & NY. I am also the proud owner of Tuyee Holistic Services LLC. I obtained my Masters in Science degree from CUNY-Hunter College School of Education with a concentration in Mental Health Counseling. I utilize an integrative approach to therapy by applying a combination of therapeutic strategies to fit the individualized needs of my clients. I specialize in the use of, but not limited to Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) & Dialectic Behavioral Therapy (DBT) with a Solution Focused & Person-Centered Approach.

I specialize in anxiety, depression, personality disorders, intellectual disabilities, autism spectrum disorders, ADHD, grief, trauma, post-natal trauma, relationship conflict & familial conflict, etc. I have experience providing individual counseling (child & adult), group counseling, couples therapy & family counseling in outpatient, inpatient & community based settings. I have worked in various fields of mental health namely applied behavioral analysis, developmental disabilities, OPWDD, DBHDD, case management, community intervention, crisis intervention, evidenced based practice & private practice.

Healing does not have to look magical or pretty. Real healing is hard, exhausting and draining. The best part about being in therapy is that you do not have to do it alone. The work begins when you leave my office. I strive for my clients to independently utilize healthy coping skills learned in sessions to apply upon daily interaction with others & themselves. I aim to provide effective treatment to clients while exploring the underlying causes of each client’s mental health concerns.

02/16/2022

Conflicts are necessary for personal growth & development. They help us reflect and explore ways to manage our emotions. Healthy conflicts end in compromise, while unhealthy conflicts result in physical fights, break ups, unresolved feelings and tension. The following tips will help you manage your emotions during an argument which benefits both parties.

1. Active Listening means listening to understand. Not listening to respond. Try not to give too much attention into the harmful words and emotions but focus on the intent and bigger picture of what is being shared to you.

2. Taking a down approach means maintaining appropriate tone of voice, being assertive when communicating and staying calm, despite the other person becoming angry or emotional.

3. Acknowledge the person’s concerns by repeating back to them the concerns that they shared with you. For example “I can see how that affected you.” This helps validate their emotions.

4. Apologize even if you do not think you are wrong! This helps the person feel better and helps regulate their emotions.

5. Now is your opportunity to share what upsets you.

6. While sharing your concerns, “I” statements focuses on the feeling and less of “you” statements which places blame. Placing blame on someone triggers immediate defenses and as a result the person puts up a wall.

7. Discuss a resolution utilizing a collaborative approach. If you suggest a solution, ask the other person about their input. Ensure that your resolution/suggestion benefits both parties. That is what compromise is.

02/02/2022

If you find yourself having difficulty regulating your anger to situations that frustrate you, these are some useful tips that will get calm the nerves. The best way to manage any situation is to walk away from the distressing trigger. Thinking about about the consequences that your actions may lead to if you do not navigate your anger in a healthier manner, will help you cope with your issues.

01/18/2022

Its easy for our minds to spiral into negative thinking due to past negative experiences and sometimes exposure to traumatic events. Your mind begins to think of creating worst case scenarios which can trigger anxiety, stomach aches, confusion, self-doubt and sadness. It’s important to challenge those negative thoughts by disapproving your thinking into more realistic scenarios or by focusing on factual evidence that is presented to you.

For example, “Today is going to be a crappy day.” Instead, challenge that by asking yourself what makes today crappy. Did you trip & fall? did you arrive late? Did you get into an accident? Etc. If it’s crappy, how do we change that thinking? “Today is one of them days and I’m going to do the best I can.” “Tomorrow is a new day to start fresh.” That is how you relinquish control and redirect your negative thinking.