Untangled Mind, LLC

09/26/2025

We’ve put empathy on a pedestal, but what if it’s keeping us stuck?

Feeling deeply isn’t the same as helping. Empathy without direction paralyzes us. The real work begins when we move beyond feeling and into compassion.

I’m unpacking this in a brand-new podcast series on empathy, starting with Episode 1: The Empathy Trap.

Where in your life might you be mistaking a false feeling for moral depth? How does that ‘feeling’ serve you or mislead you?

09/24/2025

I’m deeply grateful for reviews like this that reflect not only my work but the collaborative spirit within our community. Counseling is never done in isolation, when providers across disciplines partner together, we create stronger support systems and better outcomes for our clients and patients.

A heartfelt thank you to Cinandra for her kind words and for the dedication she brings to the field. If you’re in need of medication management, talk with Cindy-she is kind and knowledgeable and has a cautious approach, you can find her at Thriveworks.

Partnerships like these make a real difference, and I’m honored to be part of that work.

09/22/2025

It feels safe to keep talking about what you might do.

But discussion isn’t the same as action, it’s often a way of avoiding it. Conversation soothes, but it doesn’t solve.

In my latest podcast, The Darker Side of Choice, I explore how this pattern, along with blame, ego protection, and even subtle manipulation, keeps us stuck. More importantly, I give you practical steps to recognize these biases and move forward with clarity.

09/19/2025

Many clients come to me surprised that I include an Iatrogenic Statement in our contract and during informed consent.

What is iatrogenic? It means harm that is unintentionally caused by medical or psychological treatment itself. In other words; therapy, if not monitored carefully, can create setbacks, dependence, or even new forms of distress. I often state this to them by saying; “Just like drug commercials on TV, I need to talk with you about this. But hopefully, I won’t cause diarrhea!” This gets a laugh but allows us to step into the tough stuff: often you feel worse before better, and I’m human I may use an intervention that hurts you or say something that hurts you and it’s imperative we discuss it.

For me, naming that possibility is essential. Therapy isn’t automatically safe just because it’s well-intentioned. Subjective impressions; “feeling things out,” are not enough. That’s why I am moving to include the Negative Effects Questionnaire (NEQ) as part of my regular assessment system.

This step aligns with my data-driven approach, but it isn’t about reducing therapy to numbers. It’s about deepening compassion and trust. When clients see that I am willing to ask, measure, and track not only progress but also potential harm, it tells them: your safety matters as much as your growth.

Formal assessments do not take the human connection out of therapy, they protect it. They make space for clients to share openly, for risks to be caught early, and for healing to happen in a way that is both effective and safe.

That’s the kind of difference I believe every client deserves.

09/17/2025

I was hugged by a client today. That’s not unusual in this work, but today, it hit differently.

Maybe because I’ve been questioning whether I’m helping enough.

Maybe because it was their first time initiating and that means something.

Or maybe… because I just really needed it.

This moment reminded me:
Human connection is not a bonus in healing. It’s essential.

From a biological standpoint, connection regulates the nervous system, reduces cortisol, and activates oxytocin. the bonding hormone that fosters trust and safety. From a psychological standpoint, it builds mirror neurons, reinforces empathy, and helps reshape distorted self-beliefs. From a spiritual standpoint, it’s where grace and healing dwell.

Sometimes we wonder if we are doing enough, if we’re seen, if we’re making a difference. Sometimes all it takes is a hand on your shoulder (or a hug) to say: You are.

If you’re in the work of helping others, I hope you let those moments land. If you’re the one receiving care, know that your presence, your progress, and yes even your hug, can mean more than you realize.

09/16/2025

Meet Lobert: Your Untangled Mind Assistant

At Untangled Mind, I know that seeking counseling often comes with a lot of questions. That’s why I’m excited to introduce Lobert, our new AI assistant.
Lobert is a friendly, wise brain character who embodies what Untangled Mind is all about—clarity, knowledge, and support. Think of him as your guide when you’re curious about therapy, wondering about fees, or simply trying to understand how I work with clients.

He’s available right on the website to provide quick answers and help you feel more at ease before you take the next step. While Lobert can’t replace the personal connection of counseling, he’s here to make your journey toward clarity just a little smoother.
Take a moment to say hello to Lobert—he’s ready to help you untangle the questions on your mind.

09/15/2025

The weight of recent events has left many of us asking hard questions about safety, meaning, and hope.

In this week’s newsletter, I explore:
• What the DSM says about trauma
• Why many still feel traumatic effects even if events don’t meet the clinical definition
• Signs it may be time to seek extra support
• How wrestling with existential questions, and often faith, can bring grounding and renewal

If the world feels heavy right now, this reflection may help you find words for what you are carrying.

👉 Read the full newsletter here:

Lately, many of us have been confronted with news of innocent lives lost. Whether through violence, disaster, or another sudden, tragic event, these moments can shake our sense of safety, meaning, and peace. It is normal—and very human—to feel affected more deeply than expected. What counts as ....

09/13/2025

Many of us are reeling at the violence that continues across the United States and this world. Many of us are questioning, why won’t this stop?

I believe the answer lies in character.

In the application of CBT, we know that habitual thoughts lead to habitual feelings and behaviors. But more often than not, they are rooted in faulty thinking, false feelings, and destructive behaviors.

But some, choose to stop playing in their “shadow” and step into the light and do the hard work of developing a character. Not defined by their past, their traumas, or their ill informed cognitive biases-that’s where their character is built.

Ultimately, this is where I have the honor of seeing individuals develop a destiny that reaps, hope and love, justice, prudence, fortitude and temperance.

Reaching a virtuous & healed self is never a completed work, but it has far reaching effects.

I pray I can continue in that path. How about you?

09/10/2025

Therapy isn’t forever, it’s about building a life beyond me.

Goodbyes with clients are bittersweet (they even say so). What makes it worth it is knowing they leave with tools, confidence, and a life opening up in front of them.

When the synergy is there, the workbooks and strategies click, and change happens fast.

That’s the part I’ll never get tired of.

09/10/2025

Have you ever run into someone who, despite all the evidence in front of them, still clings to their belief?

Annoying? Sometimes. Infuriating? Often.

This is called emotional reasoning. It happens when a person uses their feelings as proof that something is true, even when all the facts say otherwise.

“I feel it, so it must be real.”

Why do people do this?
1. Cognitive bias. Our brains naturally lean toward shortcuts, even flawed ones.
2. Habitual thinking loops. The more you practice a thought, the more automatic it becomes.
3. House of cards effect. If one belief collapses, the rest start to wobble, and for some, that feels like their whole world crashing down.

Understanding this doesn’t excuse the behavior, but it explains why emotional reasoning is so hard to shake. And it’s exactly why CBT focuses on building the skill to separate feelings from facts.

09/08/2025

Most people don’t realize how broken the counseling system is. Low insurance rates force therapists into impossible caseloads, many burn out, and far too often, clients leave feeling worse instead of better.

That’s why I built Untangled Mind differently.

✔ Clear timelines and measurable goals
✔ Over 15 psychometric assessments to track progress
✔ Monthly summaries so clients can see their hard work pay off

94% of my clients reach their goals within the expected timeframe, most even sooner. That’s not by chance. Its structure, accountability, and integrity.

I recently wrote about what makes counseling work and why so few do it.

https://www.untangledmind.net/post/what-makes-counseling-work-here-s-my-answer

09/06/2025

William James, often called the grandfather of psychology, reminded us that choosing our thoughts is the key weapon against stress.

But here’s the truth: choosing your thoughts isn’t automatic. It takes practice. Even the most disciplined among us miss the mark sometimes. The difference is this; practice makes reframing faster, clearer, and more effective. Over time, you build the skill to manage mood instead of being managed by it.

Other greats echo this same truth. Albert Ellis taught that depression is often a construct and therefore, it can be deconstructed. Aaron Beck showed us that changing our thoughts can change our lives. Even ancient philosophers said the same. And ultimately, Jesus calls us to “take every thought captive.”

If this is the case, then the message is universal: we all benefit from practicing how we think. Because practice gives us responsibility over our own lives and that is the foundation of true empowerment.