Gertie, EOL-doula ,death midwife

02/07/2026

Her husband honored her last wishes so this is how they traveled to church and cemetery. Different but a beautiful show of love

02/04/2026

I might have shared this story in the past , I lived about 5 miles away from Roermond when we lived in the Netherlands

Even in death, they were not allowed to rest together.
This haunting photograph shows one of the most powerful and emotional grave monuments in the Netherlands — located in Roermond, built in 1888.
A Catholic woman and her Protestant husband loved each other deeply, but in the 19th century, Dutch society was still sharply divided by religion. Even cemeteries were separated into strict sections:
Catholics buried on one side
Protestants buried on the other
A literal wall standing between them
When the couple died, they were told they could not be buried side by side.
So their families created something unforgettable.
Two grave monuments were placed on opposite sides of the wall…
but reaching above it are two sculpted arms, forever locked in a handshake.
A silent act of rebellion.
A message carved in stone:
Love is stronger than division.
Human connection survives even the strictest boundaries.
And sometimes, the greatest protest is simply refusing to let go.
Today, these graves have become a symbol of tolerance, unity, and the tragic reality of how deeply religion once shaped everyday life — even after death.
A story of separation… and eternal devotion.
📍 Roermond, The Netherlands
🕯️ 1888

12/29/2025

https://bridgemi.com/michigan-health-watch/michigans-death-doulas-bring-solace-to-those-navigating-the-end-of-life/
Great things happening in Michigan

Death doulas are helping individuals and families navigate end-of-life care amid what experts call a ‘crisis’ in services for Michigan's aging population.

12/19/2025

I really want to put one up….. Story:

For many, the holidays mean family gatherings, full of cheer and happiness. For others, it is a reminder of those who are no longer with us. A growing phenomenon has helped a Saginaw woman grieving the death of her mother fill that void: a “wind phone.”

12/15/2025

INVITE GRIEVE TO YOUR HOLIDAY GATHERING.
Things I learned from talking with many people about attending a holiday gathering while grieving
When you invite a friend or family member who has experienced a lost and is grieving, tell them their grieve is welcome at you party too. What does this mean?
It means they can show us sad, happy, quiet, loud, whatever feels right to them. If they just want to sit, eat a little and listen to the conversation, that is fine.
It means if they want to be the jokester, the loud carol singer, that is fine too, you won't judge as you might have walked their path but not in their shoes
It means they can stay for a little bit or for hours, and when they decide that they want to leave, you won't try to convince them to stay a little longer
It means if they tell you they come and they don't, you have to accept, that this is as good as they could do, it's nothing personal.
It means if they do show up, it ok for you to say their loved one's name and share some memories. Not only ok but very hurtful if you don't.
As holidays are about family, friends, traditions and whatever meaning they bring you, I wish you a blessed holiday, from my family to your

12/08/2025

As an end-of-life doula you provide practical, emotional and spiritual support I feel it's appropriate to share this personal experience.
For as long as I can remember I have hit the road running in the morning. Waking up a few minutes before the alarm clock went of at 5 am to go milk cows, take care of family, feed calves etc. I would roll my eyes at those of you who would set their alarms early to have time to enjoy a cup of coffee, do some reading, and start the day with lesser urgency to go go go.
The last few weeks, a minor, inconvinient, temporary and very treatable medical issue has forced me to start my day differently as my body would need a lot of "time " to get going. So instead of hitting the road running I have to start my day with a hot shower or soak in the hot tub for 15-30 minutes. The first few days I was very annoyed with this, till I realized that didn't do me any good and that I should accept it for what it was. So now I use that time more wisely. Depending on your religious beliefs you might call it praying, meditation, reflecting, being mindful or pondering.
Now I try to count my blessings, show some gratitude, feel the warmth of the water and enjoy the view while in the hot tub. I try not to make list in my head of all the things that I need to do today or that I forgot yesterday And this changes the perspective of the rest of the day. That feeling of being ok with myself and the world stays with me long after I am out of the water. It helps me to accept the day for what it is and to acknowledge that there is always a tomorrow, next week, next year to do the things that I wasn't able to do today.
To acknowledge that I am the one that puts all this pressure on me and nobody else and to let it go.
So now the only thing left is for me to make sure this new habit sticks. When my body is healed and I can hit the road running again I hope to remember how it felt to start the day different. To remember that it is ok to slow down, drink a cup of tea, read a chapter in a book, or journal for a little bit in the middle of the day. It's funny how we first need something to happen before realizing that we can do things differently. And how fast we forget that lesson again. Will report back to you again in a few months if this new thing for me sticked or that it wasn't long lived lol.

12/03/2025

Spend the morning with a small , but very motivated and interested group of Aspire United Hospice volunteers “ unpacking” the many things an end if life doula”s / death midwifes can help with .
Came home with lots of energy, ideas and the always present, at every volunteer meeting, beautiful box of candies , put together and gifts by one of the volunteers. You kindness and willingness to spoil all of us is greatly appreciated

11/13/2025

This one is not to far away

10/15/2025

My collum in the local paper today . This conversation is serious but it doesn’t mean it has to be be sad and take over the whole get together but it might be the most important conversation ever