B Transformed Massage Studio

B Transformed Massage Studio B present, B still, B balanced. Just B! Brian Rahn
WI lic # 14964-146

The iguana tried “self-healing” last night. Lit twelve candles. Aligned his chakras with a laser pointer and repeated af...
10/16/2025

The iguana tried “self-healing” last night. Lit twelve candles. Aligned his chakras with a laser pointer and repeated affirmations until the ficus joined in.

Then he realized… maybe healing isn’t something you do, it’s what happens after you stop pretending you’re fine.

So he put down the sage, grabbed a blanket, and booked a massage.

Sometimes enlightenment smells like lavender and regret.

🦎 Claim your calm → btransformed.co

🦎 The Iguana Says: Book Early — Jan–March Now OpenThe iguana just checked the calendar (and immediately demanded a vacat...
10/15/2025

🦎 The Iguana Says: Book Early — Jan–March Now Open

The iguana just checked the calendar (and immediately demanded a vacation).

Turns out — January, February, and March 2026 are now open for booking! (Crazy, right?).

These are the busiest months of the year, so if we didn’t already pre-book your sessions, now’s your chance to lock them in before they fill.

🦎 Reserve your calm → btransformed.co

Stay grounded. Stay absurd.

- Brian
B Transformed Massage Studio
B present. B still. B balanced. Just B.

The iguana says: “Skip the stress, take the slot.” 🦎Wow...Only 4 sessions remaining for the month of October! NEW CLIEN...
10/14/2025

The iguana says: “Skip the stress, take the slot.” 🦎

Wow...Only 4 sessions remaining for the month of October!

NEW CLIENTS ALWAYS WELCOME!

Text 715-303-1313 or book at BTransformed.co

Please share!

Three hours on the table. Some call it “luxury.” The iguana calls it “witness protection from reality.”This Friday Oct 1...
10/13/2025

Three hours on the table. Some call it “luxury.” The iguana calls it “witness protection from reality.”

This Friday Oct 17th at 2 PM

🦎 Claim your calm → btransformed.co

BREAKING NEWS: The iguana held a press conference. He confirmed, “The world’s officially gone bananas. Double-checked, t...
10/10/2025

BREAKING NEWS: The iguana held a press conference. He confirmed, “The world’s officially gone bananas. Double-checked, twice. Still bananas.”

Then he wheeled out a massage table, adjusted his robe, and announced he’d found enlightenment…somewhere between the grapes and the static in his headset.
“Until further notice,” he said, “I’ll be restoring balance … one back at a time.”

Join the resistance against chaos.

🦎 Book your calm → btransformed.co

This morning, the iguana looked around, sighed deeply, and said, “Nope. The world’s too loud.”So he hung a sign on the s...
10/09/2025

This morning, the iguana looked around, sighed deeply, and said, “Nope. The world’s too loud.”

So he hung a sign on the studio door:
“Gone to get recalibrated. Back when gravity behaves.”

🦎 Claim your calm → btransformed.co

Today on Spa Science Gone Wrong:The iguana built a DIY float tank out of a kiddie pool, 20 pounds of Epsom salt, and bli...
10/08/2025

Today on Spa Science Gone Wrong:

The iguana built a DIY float tank out of a kiddie pool, 20 pounds of Epsom salt, and blind faith. For a moment, it worked…pure zen, zero gravity, total bliss. Then he added glitter for “aura enhancement.”

Now the studio smells like sandalwood and regret. He’s 37% shimmer, 100% proud, and currently drying off under the towel warmer like it’s a tanning bed.

🦎 Claim your calm → btransformed.co

The iguana checked the schedule and almost dropped his cucumber.🦎 Two spots open tomorrow October 8th.Nine left for the ...
10/07/2025

The iguana checked the schedule and almost dropped his cucumber.

🦎 Two spots open tomorrow October 8th.

Nine left for the rest of October.

Claim your calm → btransformed.co

Please share!

It started small, today. The iguana announced, “That hot towels are too mainstream.”By noon he had a clipboard, a petit...
10/07/2025

It started small, today. The iguana announced, “That hot towels are too mainstream.”

By noon he had a clipboard, a petition, and a slogan: “Cool heads, calmer hearts.” By 2PM he’d replaced every warmer with mini fridges and declared the eucalyptus leaves “a movement.” By 3PM he was in the break room giving a TED Talk titled Reinventing Comfort: A Reptile’s Guide.

Nobody stopped him.
Nobody signed the petition either.
But he’s trending anyway.

Claim your calm → btransformed.co

It started simple enough. The iguana watched an stress-management video titled “Breathe Through Turbulence.” Five minute...
10/06/2025

It started simple enough. The iguana watched an stress-management video titled “Breathe Through Turbulence.” Five minutes later, he was in full flight-attendant mode.

Neck pillow? Check.
Sunglasses? On.
Confidence? Unearned.

“GOOD AFTERNOON, PASSENGERS,” he announced. “THIS IS YOUR FINAL BOARDING CALL FOR RELAXATION!”

He handed out warm towels like they were emotional support animals, hit the fog machine and called it ‘therapeutic turbulence,’ then tried to roll the Biomat down the aisle, announcing, “In the event of sudden overthinking, lavender will drop from the ceiling.”

We still don’t know where this flight’s headed, but there’s definitely legroom for your soul.

🦎 Claim your boarding pass to calm → btransformed.co

Today the iguana cornered me in the studio with a Shark Tank slide clicker.Him: “I’ve got round two ready. You’re gonna ...
10/03/2025

Today the iguana cornered me in the studio with a Shark Tank slide clicker.

Him: “I’ve got round two ready. You’re gonna love it.”
Me: “Last time you pitched Iguana Massage™. It did not land.”
Him: “That was R&D. This is scalable.”

He clicks.
Slide 1: Humans With Shoulders 2.0
Me: “…that’s just a picture of a guy hunched over a laptop.”
Him: “Exactly. A tragedy. A market failure.”

Slide 2: The 3-Hour Reset.
Me: “…that’s my service menu.”
Him: “Correction. That’s salvation. Do you realize how rare it is for a human to reboot like a router?”

Slide 3: A glowing massage table surrounded by sharks in business suits.
Me: “Where did you even get that stock photo?”
Him: “Don’t ask questions you don’t want the answers to.”

He dropped the clicker, stared at me, and said:
“Invest in yourself before your shoulders file for bankruptcy.”

Honestly?
Can’t argue with him.

🦎Invest in yourself → btransformed.co

New clients always welcome.

I introduced the iguana to the Bio-Mat. Big mistake.He strapped on his goggles, dragged out his Tesla coil, and started...
10/02/2025

I introduced the iguana to the Bio-Mat.

Big mistake.

He strapped on his goggles, dragged out his Tesla coil, and started tinkering like he’d discovered the cure for chaos itself.

‘INFRARED HEAT… NEGATIVE IONS… AMETHYST CRYSTALS… I’VE ACHIEVED FULL-BODY QUANTUM CALM!’

Then he shouted across the sanctuary suite:
‘FUSION REACTOR LEVELS STABLE!
CALM REACTOR… ENGAGED!’

Meanwhile, the Biomat quietly did its job: melting tension, soothing muscles, and dropping stress levels like butter in a hot pan.

Benefits achieved. Ego still unchecked.

⚡️🦎 Claim your calm. Book a Biomat Fusion Massage → btransformed.co

Address

1204 South Central Avenue
Marshfield, WI
54449

Opening Hours

Tuesday 10:30am - 7pm
Wednesday 10:30am - 7pm
Thursday 10:30am - 7pm

Telephone

+17153031313

Website

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