04/29/2025
💔❤️🩹❣️
“Surrendering My Birth Plan to Jesus”
I had dreams of dim lights and whispered prayers,
Of swaying slow to worship songs,
Of breathing deep as You carried me through,
Of trusting You to write a story through my pain.
I pictured the strength You placed in me,
rising up like living water,
laboring in Your design,
bearing life the way You first created it to be.
I wrote it all down — my birth plan —
like a prayer lifted to heaven:
“Lord, let it be natural. Let it be peaceful.
Let me labor the way I believe You made me to.”
But Your ways are higher than mine.
And Your plans were unfolding in a way I could not see.
The hours wore on;
monitors echoed urgency;
faces grew solemn;
decisions had to be made.
And there — in the aching middle of it all —
I laid my plan down at Your feet.
They wheeled me into a sterile room,
arms stretched wide,
a cross-shaped surrender,
bright lights glaring above me.
The coldness of the table, the hum of machines,
the trembling fear in my heart —
You were there.
I couldn’t feel You through the anesthesia,
but You were the steady hand guiding the surgeon’s touch,
the breath in my lungs,
the shield around my child.
I felt the pulling, the pressure,
the unnatural tearing open.
Not pain — but a knowing.
This was not the gentle entrance I had prayed for.
It was a rescue mission,
and You were leading it.
And when the cries pierced the air,
it was holy ground.
A miracle not born of my strength,
but Yours.
C-section mamas are warriors clothed in grace.
We carry wounds that no one can see,
we battle through recovery while cradling new life.
Staples hold together skin and muscle and prayer.
We walk through burning pain to answer midnight cries.
We lift and nourish and love — even when our bodies scream to stop.
You were there in every shaky step,
in every tear slipping down my cheek,
in every breathless prayer whispered in the dark.
I surrendered my birth plan.
But I never surrendered my faith.
You wrote a better story —
one of surrender,
one of saving,
one of a love so fierce it tore through flesh and fear alike.
You are the Author of Life.
And this — this scar across my body —
is a testimony that You never left me.
You carried us both safely through.