08/17/2024
We have two major internal mechanisms available when making decisions. They are our feelings and our rational, cognitive abilities. Frequently, feelings are treated as something to make fun of and are to be discredited. Cognitive, rational skills develop over time as we learn from life. One is not superior to another. Depending on the circumstances one or the other or some of both might be called on. In this brief article, I focus on feelings of fear and guilt along with an event in which rational facts needed to be respected.
All feelings have gifts. In fear it is to alert us of dangers to be avoided. With guilt, it is to bring us to be aware we might be heading to an action which might invite authorities to confront our behavior.
I bring to your attention an accident several years ago. It involved an amphibious military vehicle known as a Duck. They were known to be of questionable sea worthiness. I was a passenger on one recently and came face to face as a 50-ton Master Sea captain with how unstable this craft was even in calm water.
On the day in question, there were weather warnings of severe thunderstorms. The captain and his assistant made the decision to sail with a load of sight seers including many children. Needless to say, the craft sank and several passengers drowned.
If the two decision-makers had been able to access healthy feelings and their cognitive abilities about this craft, the decision-making process would have been something like this: “We would be wise to remain at the dock until the weather clears. The potential cost to lives, the craft and to the crew’s future, it would not be wise to sail. We could not live with ourselves if we caused any of them to lose their lives.”
In hind-sight, we could try to second guess how the two decision makers decided to sail with the known facts about the craft and the severe weather forecasts. The point is that the feelings of fear alone should have been enough to stop the decision to sail.
So, my question to you is how tuned in are you to your own feelings?
There are times when conscious-mind, rational decisions have to be honored in spite of what our feeling-states may indicate. Which brings us to the point: knowing one’s feelings and appreciating how rational cognitive processes are intended to work hand in hand, side by side. Our task in personal development is to be aware of what skills we have and knowing when to apply them. Our feeling states are in our own personal “tool” bag.
Working with trauma survivors has been a rich training ground for me about how our feelings work for us and what mistakes we may make that are not helpful in the long-term concerning how we manage our feelings.
In my first book on trauma recovery, (Becoming Free Recovering from Adverse Childhood Events (ACE's), I devote one chapter and an appendix on defining feelings and present a way of helping survivors to recognize different feeling states and the gifts in each.
If you are not confident in identifying your feelings, I present a simple set of tasks in the next Blog #4, in what I have termed, “A Feelings Tune-up.” Be sure to check it out!
