Stopping the Chase Counseling/Consulting

10/13/2024

09/11/2024

08/30/2024

Telling a people-pleaser we “should just say no” or “shouldn’t feel guilty about our boundaries” isn’t enough.

If we’ve been abused, punished, or emotionally neglected for our boundaries in the past⁠—and most of us have⁠—we need to *experience firsthand,* in an embodied way, that it is *safe to say no to you.*

Not just once, not just twice, but over and over again.

Slowly, our nervous system learns that “no” doesn’t lead to the disastrous consequences it did in the past. Now, we are safe.

I understand that receiving a “no” can be disappointing, especially if it’s a “no” to something really important to you. If you receive a “no” and you find it frustrating, I’m not saying that you need to deny your own emotional reality and pretend to be thrilled by it.

But, I *am* saying that HOW you convey that disappointment matters A LOT. Ideally: Gently, kindly, calmly.

For example:
👉 “Thank you for telling me. I’m disappointed by this, but I’m really glad you felt comfortable enough to be honest and say no.”
👉 “Thank you for telling me; it must have been really hard to say that. Yes, I’m disappointed, but your ’no’ doesn’t change how much I love you.”
👉 “Thank you for telling me how you feel. I know that’s not easy for you. If you’re open to it, I’d love to talk a little more about why this is important to me and troubleshoot some compromises.”

Yelling, punishing, withdrawing, stonewalling⁠: all of these responses perpetuate the people-pleaser’s unconscious fear that boundaries aren’t safe.

My self-soothing courses in The UNAPOLOGETIC School⁠—Reframes for Guilt, Fear, and Self-Doubt; Practicing Self-Compassion; and Finding Ground with Nervous System Regulation⁠—teach you all the tools you need to feel safe enough to say no. Learn more and enroll today at the link in my bio!

08/24/2024

Focus on your f...

01/11/2024

My client got his book and said “awwwww s**t, you done had a baby! This baby is full grown too.”
When my kids, family and friends are proud of me….my heart feels warm and cozy.

In just 90 days, this easy to manage yet full of depth journal can get you closer to the emotional healing you desire.
Made for you by a licensed black therapist with up to 45 therapeutic writing sessions.

http://Bit.ly/bougieboundaries

01/06/2024

What if there was a journal that helped you work through inner child trauma, shadow work and codependency? Can you imagine the healthy boundaries and awareness you would have after just 90 days of doing the work!?

This healing journal can get you closer to emotional wellness in just 90 days.

http://Bit.ly/bougieboundaries

01/06/2024

2024

Beloved’s ✨🙏🏾
In the coming year, anticipate a wealth of positive blessings, new experiences, love, tranquility, and transformative opportunities to embark on a new phase in life.

You can expect many well-deserved developments to effortlessly transpire, leading you towards the realization of your dream life. Embrace the present with gratitude, openness, and a positive mindset. Align your energy with your objectives, maintain optimism, and welcome the forthcoming abundance of blessings and positive changes.

A favorable shift has occurred, heralding the manifestation of the things you’ve long awaited, prayed for, and diligently pursued, culminating in miraculous outcomes. 🤲🏽✨💗

Photo credit:

12/11/2023

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