Kardia Counseling

10/03/2025

Help us welcome Jennifer Hall, Marcy Ralda, and Will Weir to the team! All three are beginning their Practicum with us this semester, and we’re excited that they’re with us.

Jennifer is passionate about creating space for people to tell their stories, to be truly seen, heard, and known. She deeply believes that while we are often wounded in relationships, it is also through relationships that healing takes place. If you're looking for someone to sit with you in your pain and walk alongside you in your journey, Jennifer considers it a sacred honor to step into that space with you.

Read Jennifer’s full bio here: https://kardiacollective.com/jennifer-hall

Marcy is dedicated to supporting adolescents and young adults as they navigate the challenges of identity, life transitions, and growth. She is passionate about creating a safe space where clients can build resilience and discover their strengths. Marcy knows firsthand how overwhelming these years can be. Growing up with a little sister has deepened Marcy's appreciation of the challenges and joys of adolescence. She values trust, creativity, faith, empowerment, and connection.

Read Marcy’s full bio here: https://kardiacollective.com/marcella-ralda

Will is passionate about fostering that healing through connection—building trust with clients and helping them reconnect with their hearts and their deepest motivations. He works with those seeking freedom from anxiety and depression, as well as those pursuing recovery from trauma. He views counseling as a collaborative partnership, working together to build an off-ramp from the cycles of guilt, shame, and isolation we can find ourselves in.

Read Will’s full bio here: https://kardiacollective.com/will-weir

09/17/2025

My wife mentioned the other day that she really enjoyed the change in the weather. A simple enough comment. We’ve all made such statements. And she went on to describe how much she loves cool, perfect weather like fall and spring. It’s not too hot nor too cold, it’s just right. But then she went metacognitive on me. She said she’s selfish and spoiled to want life to be “just so”. She felt bad that she wanted everything to be pleasant if not perfect.

That’s a tempting conclusion to draw about our character. We easily conclude that if we desire a bluer sky, crisper colors, sweeter songs, deeper sleep, cookies that are always crispy on the outside and chewy on the inside, that we are somehow self-centered and broken.

But what if those desires are a reflection of God? What if, being made in His image, we can’t help but want something better, richer, fuller, deeper?

Rene Girard said, “All desire is a desire for being.”

C.S. Lewis is famously known for pointing out: “Our desires are not too strong, but too weak…(we are) like an ignorant child who wants to go on making mud pies in a slum because he cannot imagine what is meant by the offer of a holiday at the sea. We are far too easily pleased.”

But why is it so tempting to draw this judgmental conclusion about ourselves? Why are we hard on ourselves?

I want to suggest that we have been taught that, because we were ‘born in sin’, that we are ‘fallen creatures’ and therefore we have only evil thoughts and intentions. There is nothing in us that desires anything that’s good.

…

Read the full blog here: http://kardiacollective.com/kardiagnosis/desire

09/04/2025

Feeling persistently tired, especially around others, can stem from various physiological, psychological, and relational factors. On a physical level, fatigue may result from lack of sleep, chronic illness, or other underlying health conditions. However, it can also be a sign of persistent depressive disorder, formerly known as dysthymic disorder, which causes ongoing low energy and emotional exhaustion.

Additionally, relational fatigue may arise from a pattern of codependency, where a person consistently prioritizes others' needs while receiving little in return. This imbalance can lead to emotional depletion and resentment over time. Given the many possible causes, persistent fatigue—especially in social settings—may be worth exploring with a therapist to uncover deeper patterns and find ways to restore energy and balance.

09/02/2025

“I never played competitive baseball, only sandlot. And it wasn’t the kind of baseball you see in the movie “Sandlot.” At least in the movie, they had actual bases, an outfield, and a backstop. The guy who played catcher even had catcher’s equipment!

No, we played sandlot baseball in an open field. We marked off running lanes to the bases usually made of whatever we could find. We made a line in the grass to represent the pitcher's mound. Home plate was just a space marked out with our tennis shoes. And there was no backstop.

I remember the frustrating feeling every time the ball was pitched and missed by the batter and the catcher; then we’d have to chase it down before the game could continue. Did I mention there was no backstop? This was irritating and slowed everything. We got angry at each other; at the batter for not connecting, at the catcher for missing the ball, at the pitcher for throwing a wild pitch, at ourselves if we either missed the ball or threw the wild pitch! All of this for the lack of a backstop!

While praying this morning, I started to feel sorry for myself; as this memory kind of represented much of my life.”

Read the full blog here: https://kardiacollective.com/kardiagnosis/who-is-your-backstop

08/28/2025

Human beings are inherently relational, and meaningful connections with self, others, and God are central to a healthy and fulfilling life. As social creatures, humans—like other mammals—naturally seek connection because deep relationships increase well-being and even survival. Isolation and disconnection, on the other hand, have significant negative effects on health and longevity.

A strong relationship with oneself is also essential. Recognizing and understanding internal signals—such as hunger, thirst, fear, anger, or sadness—allows individuals to respond to their needs in a way that fosters balance and well-being. Without this self-awareness, emotional suppression can lead to harm.

For those with a spiritual background, a relationship with God provides another essential layer of connection. In the Christian tradition, humans are made in the image of a relational God, emphasizing the importance of spiritual connection. True wholeness comes from nurturing relationships in all three areas—self, others, and a higher power—leading to a more integrated and meaningful life.

08/26/2025

Being around others takes energy, often because we feel the need to meet their expectations. If we can develop what John Eldredge calls “Benevolent Detachment”—loving others while maintaining healthy emotional boundaries—we won’t be as drained by their demands or emotions. When we stop living solely to meet others’ expectations, we create space to engage more authentically and sustain our own well-being.

08/21/2025

What is Spiritual Direction?

At this point, Spiritual Direction is a process where two (or more) people meet together for the purpose of experiencing the presence of God. One of the persons is trained/gifted in guiding the other in deepening their awareness of God's presence for comfort, intimacy, conviction, or whatever God chooses to impart.

Learn more here: https://kardiacollective.com/spiritual-direction

08/19/2025

08/19/2025

Sunny Side Market was where I bought my football cards. Lincoln Street Elementary, just down the road and around the corner, is where I went to school. In the middle of the second grade, we moved from a small rural community to the booming metropolis of Red Bluff, California with its 8,000 people! This was 1966, and I was so scared on my first day at my new school, I ran back home and threw myself on the bed. “I don’t want to go to school!”

Of course Lincoln Street Elementary is not a school anymore, it’s some sort of administrative building. And Sunnyside Market doesn’t sell Football cards anymore. But driving through these streets in January of 2025, where I had grown up 60 years before, it felt like God was showing me a vision. I could almost see myself running through these streets, across this neighborhood; going somewhere - the city pool, a friend’s house, the A & W, who knows? I could sense God was watching me. Every step taken (and always running–I don’t think I walked anywhere!) was under the watchful gaze of my Heavenly Father.

At the time, I had no idea of God’s presence. I was just living. I was just being. If I think deeply, I know I could unearth both celebrations and losses, fears and joys, excitement and sorrows. But that wasn’t the point of this experience. The point, I think, was that God was giving me a new awareness that He has been with me, watching me, growing me, forming me, for my whole life.

I’m not an accident. Nor am I just the product of nature and nurture. Nor am I strictly the outcome of my wilful choices. I am who I am as an outgrowth of God’s Work in my soul. This is what is termed Spiritual Formation. It’s a mysterious work of God in each of us.

Read the full blog here: https://kardiacollective.com/kardiagnosis/someones-watching

08/14/2025

A direct relationship with God often involves conscious engagement through prayer and meditation, as reflected in spiritual practices like Step 11 of the 12 Steps. However, healthy spirituality is not limited to personal devotion—it is also expressed through relationships with others. If God is love, then one’s spiritual life is reflected in how they love and engage with people.

Sometimes, love requires empathy, grace, and gentleness, while at other times, it calls for directness and challenge. Both are necessary, as human hearts can be both wounded and hardened. This balance is evident in spiritual teachings, such as the example of Jesus, who showed deep compassion in some moments and firm confrontation in others. True spiritual growth involves understanding when to offer softness and when to offer challenge, ensuring that love remains both healing and transformative.

08/12/2025

At any given moment, there are more things working for us than against us. When we slow down—through early mornings, journaling, Sabbath, or simply pausing from work—we can become aware of the countless ways the world is conspiring on my behalf. This awareness cultivates a heart of gratitude.

Gratitude does two things: first, it humbles us. It reminds us how deeply dependent we are on things beyond my control—on people, systems, and unseen forces that allow us to flourish. It breaks the illusion of self-sufficiency and reorients us in the grand design of life.

Second, gratitude leads to worship. When we fully acknowledge how much we’ve received, we can’t help but respond. Recognizing the unseen generosity that surrounds us stirs love, and love, in its truest form, grows from a heart grounded in gratitude. This, more than anything, deepens intimacy with God.

08/07/2025

Human relationships naturally ebb and flow, with individuals sometimes having more to give and at other times needing more support. However, when a relationship becomes consistently one-sided—where one person is always giving while the other is always taking—it may indicate an unhealthy dynamic.

This imbalance can be a sign of codependency in the giver and potentially narcissistic, sociopathic, or addictive behaviors in the taker. Active addiction, in particular, can cause individuals to display traits associated with narcissistic personality disorder. Since there is no definitive test for determining relational imbalance, it is essential to trust one’s instincts. If a relationship feels unfair or draining, setting and reinforcing healthy boundaries is a crucial next step to restoring balance and well-being.