The Couples Institute

06/05/2025

I’m speaking at the Evolution of Psychotherapy, December 15-18, 2025.

Join a forum of legendary leaders, breakout thinkers, and real-world clinicians who will sharpen your skills and reignite your passion for psychotherapy.

Join me and use code TOGETHER to save $50:
https://i.snoball.it/p/9Mf0W/i/2

04/01/2025

I so enjoyed my time with friends and colleagues at Psychotherapy Networker Symposium. Pete and I hosted a little dinner and it was the best of times. Creating community with others in the field has been one of the highlights of my life and lifelines of my career! If you want more community this year, comment with "YES" so we can connect. ❤️

10/10/2024

🌍 World Mental Health Day Reminder for Therapists 🌿

As a therapist, your work is essential for the mental health of others, but today, let’s focus on YOU. 💚 It’s easy to forget that self-care is just as important for those who are constantly caring for others.

Here are 5 simple ways you can prioritize your own mental health today:

1. Set healthy boundaries with clients 🛑
2. Make time for your own self-care 🧘‍♀️
3. Connect with your peers for support 🤝
4. Reflect on your own mental well-being 🧠
5. Celebrate the impact you make 🎉

Remember, you can’t pour from an empty cup. Let’s take care of ourselves as much as we care for our clients. 💚

Tag a colleague or fellow therapist who needs this reminder today!



10/07/2024

Struggling to manage control issues in couples therapy? 🤔

The Initiator-Inquirer process is a powerful technique that helps couples communicate without blame and fosters deeper understanding. 🙌

In our recent blog post, we share a real therapy session transcript that shows how this process works in action with couples who are facing control struggles. 💡

✨ Want to read the full transcript and see how to use this technique in your practice?

Comment «TECHNIQUE» below, and we’ll send you the link to the blog post! 👇

09/28/2024

Here’s what attendees are saying about our recent free webinar series:

🗣️ “I couldn’t wait to apply what I’ve learned and felt clear-headed, empowered, and confident about where I was leading my clients—AND THEY RESPONDED SOOOO WELL!!!”

🗣️ “I am a counselor who has been avoidant of couple counseling, but I have enjoyed watching these webinars. It has certainly changed my perspective on relationship counseling.”

🗣️ “These trainings have provided invaluable insight. Thank you!”

🗣️ “The use of videos, transcripts, and discussions is great. Looking forward!”

🗣️ “I have really loved the series and have benefited tremendously from these sessions. Thank you so much for providing such valuable content free of charge!”

✨ Replay available until Sunday, 9/29 at 11:59 PM Pacific. You can still watch the entire training for FREE!

🔗 Link in our stories and bio to register.

09/23/2024

⏰ Exclusive fast-action bonuses expire at midnight!!

Looking for the tools, resources, training and live support you need to become a better couples therapist? Our Developmental Model of Couples Therapy Training covers all of the essentials for taking your skills to the next level, including popular topics like…

✔️ Structuring Treatment for the Hostile Angry Couple
✔️ Passive and Passive Aggressive Partners
✔️ Affairs and Infidelity
✔️ Narcissistic Partners
✔️ Fostering Empathy and Creating Soothing Moments
Feel like you're "too busy" to learn?

Our training is delivered in a convenient and consumable format that you can learn and apply to real-life situations in as little as 5 hours per month, including:

✔️ Live Clinical Training Sessions with Ellyn
✔️ Bonus Training from other Couples Experts
✔️ 30 Client Handouts
✔️ Drop-ins: get your questions answered sessions
✔️ Weekly guided practice

Here's what a few of our students have said about our comprehensive online training program:

🗣️ "This program has completely transformed the way I work. Mostly my confidence. I have a structure and very clear sense of where I want to help the couples get to."

- Nancy

🗣️ "I feel refueled as I continue to engage in the lessons, the blogs, the calls and my peer group."

- Meg

🗣️ "I feel I now have a compass. I know where I want to go and feel more prepared to face the obstacles that lay ahead whatever they may be. The Developmental Model is great, and Ellyn is a great mentor. Thanks for sharing all your knowledge and expertise."

- Jules

The Developmental Model of Couples Therapy training has already changed the careers and lives of countless therapists - we'd love for you to be next.

⏰ Bonuses expire Monday at 11:59 PM Pacific, so make sure to secure your spot NOW!

Enroll here:

Discover a breakthrough model for couples therapy that gives you a roadmap for change and ends imposter syndrome. You’ll never again have to wonder what to do in your sessions! https://vimeo.com/317224655/1b259b1ac8Created by industry innovators, the Developmental Model gives you a roadmap for inc...

08/13/2024

Join Ellyn Bader, PhD, and Brian Spielmann for a FREE webinar: "A Critical Conversation: Protecting the Integrity of Clinical Practice."

🗓 Date: August 15, 2024
⏰ Time: 4pm PDT / 7pm EDT

In this live webinar, hosted by the Academy of Therapy Wisdom, Brian Spielmann will discuss with Ellyn Bader her powerful article, "Is the Soul of Therapy For Sale? When Private Equity Infiltrates Our Practice."

This essential conversation will explore the impact of private equity on therapy practices, the commodification of mental health services, and what this means for you as a mental health professional.

Don't miss this opportunity to:

🔹 Learn from Ellyn’s personal experience about the risks of private equity in therapy
🔹 Equip yourself with knowledge to protect your practice and maintain ethical standards
🔹 Engage in a community dialogue on safeguarding the future of ethical clinical practice

Click here to register and join the conversation!
https://go.therapywisdom.com/t?orid=49639&opid=119

08/06/2024

Implement this micro-training in your practice this week.

As therapists, we hear the outrageous demands people make (on their partners and on us) all the time. Sound
familiar?

In fact, this issue is so prevalent and our interventions have been so effective at addressing it that we created a free micro-training about it.

It’s specifically designed to help therapists get a “quick win” by implementing the info they learn right away in their practice.

“What Do You Say When™ a Client Makes Narcissistic or Entitled Demands on You or Their Partner in Session?” includes:

✅ 20-minute role play video
✅ 4-page PDF guide
✅ Word-for-word script to use with couples
✅ Additional free training opportunities if you enjoy working with the Developmental Model

Click link in bio to get it free today!

07/31/2024

"Couples therapy is challenging. It takes risk, openness, and a willingness to look at the uncomfortable and ineffective parts of ourselves." - Dr. Ellyn Bader

With over three decades of experience in couples therapy, Dr. Ellyn Bader continues to inspire therapists and couples worldwide to embrace growth and transformation.

01/02/2024

Ellyn and Pete celebrating their anniversary...

11/10/2023

A while ago I was thinking about specific challenges that can come up in our work with couples – ones that may require us to go “off script” and take a more nuanced approach to therapy. In particular, I’ve been thinking about cases where at least one partner is entrenched in one personality adaptation.

So I wrote a blog post about the work of Paul Ware, MD, and Vann Joines, PhD, in defining six specific personality adaptations and the 3-door model that allows us to connect with clients according to their personality adaptation type. With this awareness we want to start connecting with clients through their open door.

A while ago I was thinking about specific challenges that can come up in our work with couples – ones that may require us to go “off script” and take a more nuanced approach to therapy. In particular, I’ve been thinking about cases where at least one partner is entrenched…

11/06/2023

Note from Ellyn: A member of our Advanced training group recently shared some observations with me about two of my very favorite topics: the Developmental Model of Couples Therapy and Tennis! I asked her to write them up and I am pleased to post them for you here. And how could I resist Sally’s poem? Such a clever way to capture the puzzle of these ideas, while solving puzzles of rhyme and rhythm at the same time.

Whatever your hobby or avocation might be, I bet you can find similar wisdom in your experience.

CLICK HERE TO LEARN MORE ABOUT THE DEVELOPMENTAL MODEL OF COUPLES THERAPY -

A member of our Advanced training group recently shared some observations with me about two of my very favorite topics: the Developmental Model of Couples Therapy and Tennis!