12/31/2025
Stepping out of these old roles can feel so challenging. You are not alone and counseling can help. π
is absolutely for everyone!
This is for the over-functioners, caretakers, perfectionists, intellectualizers, scapegoats, comedians, golden children, and anyone else who has been pigeon-holed into a role for most of your life.
Many people learned to identify with their role;
it's how you felt seen, safe, productive, in control, connected, and worthy.
But you aren't just a role, or a set of behaviors β you are whole, complex human being.
You're allowed to rest, feel, receive, make mistakes, be vulnerable, and let other people be responsible for their feelings, decisions, and behaviors.
Your existence, safety, and connection to others is not dependent on your ability to maintain the appearance of this role.
And when you start down the path of healing and you begin to meet more of yourself,
it can feel absolutely terrifying to start showing up differently.
To break the momentum of the old pattern β
to feel someone else notice the shift, that you aren't going to respond in the way that have always expected you to,
and it's normal to freak out a little.
This truly is some of the hardest parts of this work;
this discomfort. It runs deep and feels all-consuming.
When the old relational contract says that your smarts, "kindness," problem-solving ability, wit, strength, or self-abandonment is what has always kept you connected,
trying out a new behavior will bring up all of those protective parts β self-judgment, anxiety, fear, shame, guilt.
The work isn't not to feel uncomfortable, it's to practice the new pattern while staying connected to yourself.
It's teaching your nervous system that it's safe for you to be a whole person and not just live confined to the old, familiar role.
Practicing with safe people helps enormously.
Having your goodness mirrored back to you by a nervous system that is emanating safety helps you learn that you can be seen and known as a complex person and still maintain connection.
If you've been doing this work on your own and are looking for a community to support you in this process, the next round of Cycle Breakers begins January 21st.
Come meet like-minded folks, practice the tools regularly, and build that deeper sense of self-trust over the course of 2026.
The 4pm is starting to fill up - register soon!
https://theeqschool.co/cycle-breakers