Awakenings Counseling Center

07/30/2025

07/14/2025

Men don’t seek healing... they seek hiding. Instead of facing their demons, sitting in accountability, or going to therapy, too many just find a new woman who hasn’t seen behind the mask yet. A clean slate. A fresh set of ears to hear the same recycled lies. A new heart to manipulate before the old one has even finished bleeding.

They don’t reflect. They replace. They skip the part where they ask, “Why did I do that?” and go straight into “Who can I do it to next?” And the saddest part? Most of the time, the next woman has no idea that she’s not walking into love...she’s walking into someone else’s unfinished mess.

It’s easier to find a new woman than it is to face the old pain. Easier to charm someone new than to sit in therapy and unpack the trauma they’ve spent years running from. Easier to tell new lies than to own old truths.
And while he’s out there pretending to be “changed,” the woman he left behind is forced to rebuild herself from the damage. She’s healing from things she didn’t break, stitching up wounds she didn’t cause, all while watching him pretend to be a better man to someone new. But make no mistake....if he didn’t do the work, he’s just repeating the same patterns in a different setting. Healing isn’t in a new body. It’s in the mirror.

Real men go to counseling. They don’t run, they rebuild. They don’t seek escape, they seek growth. And until that shift happens, good women will continue getting hurt by broken men who confuse moving on with moving forward.
There’s a big difference.
________✨

06/30/2025

The love language we don't talk about.

It's the quiet act of someone choosing to work on themselves.

Not just for their own sake, but for the health of the relationship.

It’s easy to say “That’s just how I am,” and expect others to accept our flaws and triggers as unchangeable parts of us.

But real love ..... deep, mature love, looks different.

It’s someone who recognizes their wounds and patterns, and instead of making them your burden, takes responsibility for their healing.

It’s the partner who notices when their words cut too deep, or when old habits threaten new happiness, and chooses to do the work to grow.

You deserve someone who doesn’t expect you to simply tolerate the parts of them that hurt you.

You deserve someone who sees the impact of their actions and is willing to change, not because you demand it, but because they care about your peace, your safety, and your heart.

Love isn’t just about grand gestures or sweet words.

Sometimes, it’s about accountability.

It’s about someone who looks at their own reflection and says, “I want to be better for me, for you, for us.”

That’s the kind of love that builds trust, deepens connection, and heals old wounds.

Always remember .... you are worthy of a love that grows.

Of a partner who chooses healing over excuses, effort over complacency.

Don’t settle for less than someone who’s willing to do the work, because that’s a love language that will last a lifetime.

~ Cody Bret

05/12/2025

Learn more: yungpueblo.substack.com

12/18/2024

When a man is unclear about his own needs, desires, and purpose, it creates an invisible distance between him and his partner. The woman, who naturally pours her heart into the relationship, finds herself adrift, unsure of where she stands or where the relationship is headed. This uncertainty leads her to doubt herself, wondering if she is failing in some way or if the love she gives is not enough. But the truth is, she has given her soul to the relationship, and the root of the confusion lies not in her, but in the lack of clarity from her partner.

A woman’s love is deep and all-encompassing. She nurtures, supports, and sacrifices with the hope that her partner will do the same. She desires transparency, trust, and a shared vision for the future. But when a man is lost in his own uncertainty, it leaves her feeling isolated. She becomes unsure of her place in his life and starts to question the very foundation of their relationship. It’s not that her love has faltered; it’s that the clarity she longs for from him is missing.

When a man does not know his own purpose, the woman in his life feels the weight of that confusion. She senses the unspoken doubts, the emotional fog that hangs between them. Even if he doesn’t say it out loud, she feels the disconnection. Her soul craves stability, but without direction from her partner, she is left floating in uncertainty, unsure of how to help him or how to move forward together. The pain she feels is not a reflection of her love or her worth, but of the disconnect that comes when the man is unclear about his own path.

A woman thrives when she feels secure in her relationship. She longs for the reassurance that her partner knows where he is going and what he stands for. A man who is grounded in his own purpose becomes the anchor that holds her steady. When she knows his intentions, she can trust in their shared future. She can fully invest in the relationship, knowing they are building something meaningful together. But when that clarity is absent, she begins to feel lost, uncertain, and unsure of her place.

When a woman starts doubting herself in a relationship, it often stems from her partner’s lack of clarity. She may feel like she’s giving more than she is receiving, investing her heart and soul into something that seems to lack direction. Her love remains constant, but the uncertainty she feels from him makes her question if she is enough. The truth is, she is giving all that she has, but she cannot carry the weight of the relationship alone. She needs him to be clear about his own needs and desires.

A woman’s suffering in a relationship is not a reflection of her inability to love or give enough. It’s the result of her partner’s uncertainty. When a man does not know his own path, he cannot lead her with confidence. This leaves her searching for answers, trying to understand why things are not working, and questioning what went wrong. The pain she feels is not about her own inadequacies, but about the imbalance created by the man’s lack of direction.

Women give from their hearts and souls. They offer their deepest selves in love and commitment. But when a man does not know his own purpose, it’s as if they are walking through life together without a map. She gives and gives, but without the clear guidance of her partner, she may begin to feel lost and unappreciated. Her heart remains open, but her soul yearns for the steady presence of a man who knows his own journey.

The doubts that arise in women’s hearts when relationships aren’t working are not about their lack of love. They come from the emotional disconnect that occurs when a partner’s path is unclear. A woman feels the distance, the quiet tension, and the unanswered questions. She wonders if she is enough, even though the root of the problem lies in the lack of clarity from the man she loves.

When a man is clear about his needs, desires, and purpose, he provides his partner with a foundation on which she can stand. She knows where she fits, what role she plays, and where their relationship is going. This clarity brings peace to her heart and stability to their love. She can invest fully, without fear or doubt, because she knows that they are aligned in their journey together. It is only when both partners are clear about their paths that the relationship can truly flourish.

For a woman to give her best to a relationship, she needs to feel secure in her partner’s intentions. She needs to know that he is grounded, that he knows who he is, and where he is going.

A man who understands his purpose gives her the peace of mind she craves, allowing her to fully invest in the relationship. Without that clarity, a woman’s love can feel uncertain, her heart unsure of where it belongs.

Dear man, a woman’s love is a gift that requires trust, clarity, and connection. She gives deeply, without reservation.

But when a man is unsure, her love becomes clouded by doubt and confusion.

The beauty of a relationship lies in both partners knowing their own paths, walking together with a shared vision and purpose. Only then can the love they share be fully realized and sustained.

- Abhikesh

12/11/2024

About relationships, conflicts and traumas

"When two people get deep into a relationship, it's pretty predictable and guaranteed that at some point they're going to open their deepest wounds and hit their pain points. This is a sign of a good relationship, a real relationship.
One's behavior will touch the other's deepest points and vice versa. It is at this point that we begin to see each other as a monster who cannot be trusted, who must be protected from, who is abusive and insensitive, reckless and selfish, who must change for the sake of the relationship.

The wounds provoked by the other always originate from deeper childhood traumas. And even if we are aware that we have worked on these traumas, when the one we love provokes these states, we stop seeing the other. All we unconsciously see is a cruel, irresponsible, inattentive parent or some important person from our past. We cannot understand how the other can be so blind as not to see and understand our pain and sensitivity in this matter. All that happens in these moments is tragedy, conflict, pain, misunderstanding, endless arguments, anger and, as a result, more and more mistrust and distance from each other.

When we understand that this is the nature of attraction, we can be prepared for conflict or discomfort. We can accept these states, even if it hurts. But we also need a way to process situations where there is conflict or pain. Our experience shows that if everyone is aware of their pain points, can recognize those moments when the other touches those points, then it becomes possible to share with each other more consciously.

For example, if our parents constantly controlled us and exercised their power, then our wounds open up in relationships with a strong partner or friend. The trigger goes off when we feel controlled, criticized, or patronized. The other person becomes a monster and we get angry or shocked or both. On the other hand, maybe our parents were irresponsible and depressed. In such a case, we may find ourselves in a relationship with a person who tends to go into shock, drop out or give up at the slightest stress. And then every time our partner doesn't show responsibility or care, we feel betrayed and abandoned.

Once we find the source of the trauma – in other words, when we see the root of these emotions, awareness emerges to do the necessary inner work and not waste our energy on drama or backlash. Our job is to feel and express (when possible) our pain and fear without trying to change the other person. Understanding this allows our love to flow. If we see the other person as a problem and focus on convincing them how imperfect they are, love dies."

Kto Ya (Nikolay Bulgakov)

12/09/2024

RULES FOR COUPLES FOR BEING MAD
1. Be mad at me, but don't insult me. Anger is not a ticket to speak carelessly
2. Be mad at me, but tell me why you are mad. Don't assume I know. Communication is the key and can fix a lot.
3. Be mad at me, but don't broadcast it to others. Yo momma and best friends don’t need to know our business.
4. Be mad at me, but don't forget the many good things about me. Be objective and fair.
5. Be mad at me, but also remember the many other times I have forgiven you for.
6. Be mad at me, but don't give me silent treatment. Keep the communication lines open
7. Be mad at me, but don't use it as an excuse to cheat on me
8. Be mad at me, but don't hurt me to even the score. Love doesn't revenge
9. Be mad at me, but don't stay mad for long. Let's sort this out quickly
10. Be mad at me, but don't stop praying for me. I still need your prayers
11. Be mad at me, but don't threaten to quit what we have.
Ending it is not the solution
12. Be mad at me, but don't punish me using s*x. Let's keep intimacy special, don't weaponize it
13. Be mad at me, but don't keep reminding me of things you said you forgave me for
14. Be mad at me, but don't develop a bad attitude or view of yourself. I take responsibility for offending you, let's make us work

11/23/2024

🍀🪐💡 Relationships fall apart when
when we start to live in our own heads instead of communicating. A disconnect is inevitable when a relationship is directed by inner monologues instead of a continued conversation.
when we neglect ourselves. When we are afraid to take up space in our relationship. When we don't talk about our needs and feelings and forget to set boundaries. Sometimes, we don't show our partners how we want to be loved and blame them when they get it wrong. It's so easy then to grow mutually resentful.
when we neglect the healing of our past wounds, and bring old feelings into new relationships. When our behaviors are a reaction to our past instead of our present, we end up punishing our partners for the sins of other people.

09/07/2024

“Sometimes people walk away from love because it is so beautiful that it terrifies them. Sometimes they leave because the connection shines a bright light on their dark places and they are not ready to work them through. Sometimes they run away because they are not developmentally prepared to merge with another- they have more individuation work to do first. Sometimes they take off because love is not a priority in their lives- they have another path and purpose to walk first. Sometimes they end it because they prefer a relationship that is more practical than conscious, one that does not threaten the ways that they organize reality. Because so many of us carry shame, we have a tendency to personalize love’s leavings, triggered by the rejection and feelings of abandonment. But this is not always true. Sometimes it has nothing to do with us. Sometimes the one who leaves is just not ready to hold it safe. Sometimes they know something we don’t- they know their limits at that moment in time. Real love is no easy path- readiness is everything. May we grieve loss without personalizing it. May we learn to love ourselves in the absence of the lover.”

- Jeff Brown

08/20/2024

03/21/2024

Good listen