02/10/2022
How to find Happiness.
For all of us the pursuit of enduring happiness is one of the major things that we go through throughout our lives.
There are many different ideas of happiness for example at the core of mindfulness practices, emphasize gratitude and seeking contentment in the present moment. Other models of happiness suggest the importance of living in congruence with our values and in ways that satisfy our basic human needs.
What is Happiness?
One perspective of happiness argues that life’s goal is to experience the maximum amount of pleasure and the minimum amount of pain. Another idea of happiness says that true happiness is found when one behaves virtuously. Pursuing happiness, therefore, is about doing what is worth doing. It is about reaching one’s true potential and living in congruence with one’s values and true self. It also involves developing one’s talents and strengthening relationships with those for whom we care.
Spiritual conceptualizations of happiness
Whereas the previous two perspectives consider happiness as something that must be sought, growing schools of thought argue that happiness in the form of contentment or inner peace are primarily available to us at any given moment, regardless of what we are doing.
Mindfulness-based perspectives on happiness and contentment have traditionally been a feature of eastern religions. Happiness can be achieved by cultivating present-moment awareness and self-transcendence. In other words, these arguments suggest that it is possible to give up the search for happiness and commit oneself to finding contentment in what is happening right now.
The Wrong Way to Search for Happiness
If we think that contentment is available to us at any given moment, we will remain dissatisfied. This is because even if we achieve all our goals and get everything we want, some newer, shinier source of happiness will always arise for us to chase.
In other words, the grass will always appear greener somewhere else, meaning it is important to look for happiness wherever we are presently standing.
Likewise, there is evidence that placing too much importance on achieving challenging goals in the distant future may also be a recipe for misery. Research has shown that even if one wins a major lottery, the happiness that person derives from day-to-day activities in life will eventually return to feelings of dissatisfaction. It is important to recognize that happiness is not somewhere off in the distance. There is always something to be gained by pausing to reflect on our reasons to be happy right now, such as by practicing gratitude.
Ways to Find Happiness
Finding happiness through real goods
An important step in the search for happiness is to work toward securing the necessities for wellbeing and development, or what Aristotle called real goods.
Real goods satisfy the natural needs of our bodies, such as our needs for warmth and sustenance. We might liken this to that of the lower levels of Maslow’s hierarchy, which argues that humans must satisfy basic physiological and safety-related needs before pursuing higher-order needs like esteem and self-actualization.
However, real goods also include “goods of the soul,” such as love, arts, music, and literature. These goods clearly tap into the higher levels of Maslow’s hierarchy, and without them, it may be challenging to achieve happiness.
First, take steps toward securing the basics for your health and wellbeing. This means eating well, engaging in regular exercise, securing a stable income, and getting plenty of sleep. Secondly, immerse yourself in environments that will bring out your best. For example, surround yourself with good company, knowledge, and cultures. In practice, this may mean stepping outside your comfort zone by meeting new people, learning new skills, or visiting new places.
Finding happiness through gratitude
Two simple ways to practice gratitude include taking a moment at the end of the day to reflect on an occurrence for which you were grateful and sending a thoughtful message of appreciation to someone you care about.
Finding happiness by living into our values
Understanding our values is critical to achieving happiness because we need to engage in what is worth doing. To know what is worth doing, we must understand which actions generate valued outcomes, and we can only know this by looking closely at our core values. Once you are clear on your core values, you can take steps to behave in a way that is congruent with these values, helping you live a happier life. For instance, if you discover that one of your core values is growth, you might then consider the different ways to enact this value in day-to-day life. This could involve registering for a night class or pursuing new intellectual pursuits through reading.
Finding happiness through needs satisfaction
One prominent theory of happiness suggest we engage in behaviors that satisfy our three core human needs. The need for competence (feeling effective); The need for autonomy (the feeling of being the origin of one’s behavior); and the need for psychological relatedness (feeling cared for and understood by other people).
Finding happiness through mindfulness
Finally, and at the core of the mindfulness-based approach to finding happiness is the practice of mindfulness itself.
Often, regular meditation will lie at the core of mindfulness practice. However, other approaches to developing mindfulness can include journaling and yoga.
Goals to practice Happiness
Now that you better understand how to cultivate happiness, let’s set some goals and put these strategies into practice. As with any behavior change, becoming happier requires forming new, positive habits. A first step may be to develop routines and habits associated with good sleep and regular exercise.
Here are three tips related to the science of habit formation to help you develop your new habits for happiness.
First, set a goal to strengthen your happiness using a goal-setting framework. By using a framework to set a happiness goal, you can avoid accidentally setting a goal that is too vague, easily track your progress, and rest assured knowing your goal is realistic and within your reach.
Second, keep in mind that it takes approximately two months for a new behavior to become an automatic habit so do whatever it takes to commit to your goal for at least this long.
That way, you can see if your new practice has enduring benefits and becomes easier with time. For instance, you may find you need to set daily reminders for yourself (e.g., to journal, settle in for bed) for a couple of months until your new habit becomes automatic.
Finally, consider linking up with a friend or small group and commit to becoming happier together. In the same way that groups like AA and Weight Watchers can help their members develop better habits associated with health, you can work with others to stay accountable and get support if you face any hurdles in your pursuit of greater happiness.
