05/04/2022
What happens when we fearful or threatened?
This week I got a call from my doctor that a routine test came back abnormal and I needed more testing. Rationally, today, I can tell you that while it sucks to get this news, I feel confident that I will be ok big picture. In the moment though, I had no access to rational thought. I was in stress response mode- I was frozen.
[In the face of fear or threat, we are not operating from our higher cognitive faculties (translation: there is no room for rational thought). We are responding in a more primal way- our autonomic nervous system takes over and a cascade of physiological events occurs automatically to prepare us to deal with the threat- either by fighting it, fleeing from it, or freezing (shutting down). This is a stress response.]
So I was frozen, and I couldn't continue on with normal activities- it was dinner and bath time at my house and I was not able to rally. I had to allow myself to feel the fear and terror and let the feeling move through and out of me- in this case, through quite a lot of crying that I couldn't control- I couldn't turn the tap off!
At first I tried to stop the flow, but I realized that was futile pretty quickly and I allowed for the feeling to move through me. And it did. It took a while, but then the tears slowed and then stopped. I felt lighter for having let myself cry like that (can't remember the last time! and as my BFF always says "sometimes you just need a good cry").
Once the feeling moved through and out, I could calm and ground myself. And from that place, I could access my higher faculties, think it through, evaluate what I was really afraid of, and look at the situation from new perspectives.
My body needed to discharge the fear, and it's intense energy. And once it did, I could breathe, think, connect again.
Do you allow your fear to move through you? If not, you may find yourself in fight, flee or freeze mode quite a lot.