05/11/2026
May's Article: "Awakening Balance: Harmony in Everyday Chaos" For more readings visit our BFF of CT Homepage.
Why Balance Matters
Most of our days are filled with ups and downs, happy one minute, stressed or sad the next. These emotional swings come from how we react to life, often making things harder than they need to be.
In Buddhism, balance isn't about being perfect or emotionless; it's about finding a stable center so we can handle whatever comes without getting thrown off. When we're imbalanced, everything feels like it's about "me", my problems, my anger, my worries, and that self-focus pulls us into more suffering. But learning to rest the mind and gently loosen our grip can bring clarity and peace, even in tough times. As the Buddha taught in the Dhammapada, "All that we are is the result of what we have thought: it is founded on our thoughts, it is made up of our thoughts." Recognizing this helps us see how our habits of thinking shape our experience, and how simple awareness can begin to shift it.
Maintaining a Stable Base
We often get attached to our thoughts and feelings, holding on tightly as if they're the whole truth. This grasping, clinging to ideas or emotions as permanent or “mine,” leads us in all directions, influenced by everyone around us saying what's good or bad. It makes life feel out of control, like a monkey jumping from branch to branch in our mind.
But instead of trying to overpower the mind, we can learn to see thoughts as passing events. When they are recognized clearly, their force softens naturally. Instead of reacting right away, pause and breathe: in and out, letting the disturbance settle. This is the Middle Way, not getting stuck in “right” or “wrong,” but resting in awareness itself.
The Buddha spoke of the Middle Way in his very first teaching. He described it as freedom from two extremes: self-indulgence and harsh self-denial. But in Mahayana Buddhism, the Middle Way deepens even further. It is not only about standing between two extremes. It is about seeing through the illusion that the extremes are solid in the first place.
Lama Surya Das once said, “The key to balance is simplicity: resting in the natural state of mind without adding or subtracting anything.” When emotions build like a pressure cooker, don't stir them up; recognize the “monkey mind” (our restless, chattering thoughts) and let it settle through meditation. That is the foundation for stability, preventing imbalance from growing into conflict or illness.
Handling Your Emotions
Emotions aren't the problem; it's how we relate to them that matters. Anger, for example, has a hot, fiery nature, it's natural, like fire being hot. But we intensify it by adding stories, exaggerating, or replaying it in our minds, and that spirals into more suffering.
Grasping here means holding onto the emotion so tightly that it defines us. Much of our suffering is intensified by how we cling to and identify with what arises. The heart knows there is no need to get so upset; conditions may arise from many causes, but how we hold them makes a difference.
If someone comes to you angry or crying, don't jump in and match their energy, that just spreads the imbalance. Stay steady. Your calm presence can help them settle too. Thich Nhat Hanh taught, “Breathing in, I calm my body. Breathing out, I smile. Dwelling in the present moment, I know this is a wonderful moment.” The Middle Way is not far away. It is this breath. This step. This very life, lived without grasping.
When awareness is open and relaxed, harmony appears naturally, like the body adjusting itself without conscious calculation.
Heart-Centered Helping
True balance comes from heart-centered helping, that is, supporting others not just to feel good ourselves, but from a genuine heart without expecting thanks. If our actions revolve around a tight sense of “I” and “want,” the ego, our habit of seeing ourselves as separate and central, takes over, and helping becomes self-serving.
Rather than trying to erase the self, we loosen the tight grip around “I.” We do our best sincerely, and if appreciation doesn't come, it does not disturb our balance. Helping may bring stress at times, but that can be a sign of real engagement, not failure.
Zen teacher Brad Warner notes, “Real compassion isn't about feeling better; it's about being present with what's there, without the ego's agenda.”
In the Heart Sutra, a key Mahayana teaching, the Buddha reveals this deeper Middle Way: “Form is not other than emptiness; emptiness is not other than form.” This means what appears solid is not separate from what is open and fluid. What seems fixed is already changing. When we see this clearly, we do not have to choose sides. We are no longer trapped in either “this” or “that.” Balance is the wisdom that does not cling to existence or non-existence, success or failure, praise or blame. By loosening self-focus, we connect more deeply, avoiding isolation and building a life of joy and inclusion.
Three Potential Buddhist Practices for Experiencing Balance
1. Breathing with Emotions: When anger, anxiety or other strong feelings arise, sit comfortably or stand and name it softly: “Anger is here.” Return to the breath and gently notice your out-breath; let go on that out-breath, smiling gently. Practice for 5–10 minutes daily to calm the fire and create space.
2. The Pause Before Responding: When something triggers you, pause before speaking. Take one full breath. Ask, “What is needed here?” This small pause often restores balance.
3. The Daily Adjustment Practice: At the end of the day, reflect gently: Where did I push too hard? Where did I avoid? What might balance look like tomorrow? No self-judgment. Just learning.
Written by Rev. G.R. Lewis, M.A. © G.R. Lewis,
Buddhist Faith Fellowship February 2026
