02/12/2026
This love story is from residents, Tom & Jan Showler. Jan has such a beautiful way with words. Please take the time to read everything she has to say about their love. ❤️
1. How long have you been together?
Tom and I will celebrate 57 years of marriage on August 9, 2026. Inauspiciously, we were married on the day of the Manson "family" Tate-LaBianca murders in 1969 California. Despite that historically gruesome context, our wedding day was festive with family and friends sharing our joy.
2. How/where did you meet?
After a two-year stint in the Peace Ciorps (PC) in Liberia, West Africa, Tom settled in Philadelphia with several PC volunteers and took a position at Philadelphia State Hospital in Northeast Philadelphia in March 1968. He worked as a caseworker. That summer, I worked at the same psychiatric hospital to earn my college tuition. I have a distinct memory of meeting him for the first time in the hospital library where he was hard at work repairing a typewriter ribbon for the librarian. Tall, blond, and lean, he seemed shy which I found very appealing.
3. Where was your first date?
Neither of us can recall a first date, but Tom often drove me home from work in his 1968 Mustang, and my mother always invited him to dinner. She was an excellent cook, and after gorging himself, he would often retreat to the living room couch for a nap! Maybe it was my mother's cooking that convinced Tom that I might be a "keeper."
4. Was it love at first sight or did it take some time?
Tom admits that when he saw my yellow-polka dotted dress in our first library encounter, he was smitten. I remember being attracted to his sensitivity and gentleness, especially since my father and my two brothers were consummate macho men.
5. How did you propose/make a commitment to each other?
Tom proposed to me on Valentine's Day in the driveway of my parents' home on Somerton Avenue in Northeast Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. We remained in Philadelphia: Tom for fifty years and I for my entire life until we moved to Springhill eight years ago in January 2018 to retire.
6. When did you get married, where, and what was the wedding like?
Gratefully, the summer weather cooperated because we were married in my parents' garden in Somerton in Northeast Philadelphia. My mother and all my aunts prepared all the delicious food, and my Uncle Herb, my godfather, served as photographer, cutting off heads of some of the guests after imbibing. I remember cleaning and lugging picnic tables and chairs around my father's huge holly tree about twenty minutes before the ceremony. I marched with my father to Beethoven's Seventh Symphony, my favorite symphonic piece.
7. What do you love/respect about your partner?
I love Tom's integrity, his stability, and his intelligence. He tempers my impulsiveness and serves as my best fried, confidant, and soulmate. While concerned about whether my choice to attend the University of Pennsylvania at age forty, after two subsequent preparatory degrees was wise, he encouraged me through very challenging coursework, culminating in my doctoral degree. I admire his ego strength: many men of that time period would not have been so magnanimous. Since I held a full-time demanding position at that time, my time constraints also reduced our shared time together. I will always be grateful to him for allowing me to pursue that dream, especially since he felt unfulfilled in his work at the Philadelphia Prison System where he supervised social workers.
8. Do you celebrate Valentine’s Day?
We celebrate Tom's wedding proposal every Valentine's Day with delicious food. This year, we will mark that special day at the Erie Club.
9. Any advice you can give us on what the key is to a long and happy relationship/marriage?
Tom will tell you that marriage is all about compromise. True, indeed. Thinking back to polka-dot dresses and typewriter ribbons, I would say: passion ignites the heart; love nurtures the soul.
