01/07/2026
A good deal of childhood trauma survivors in the US received these specific words on their grammar school report cards.
"Doesn't apply him or herself."
"Unsatisfactory"
"Needs improvement"
As children, we honestly just thought we were dumb, and the adults were painfully pointing that out again. No one was asking questions, especially my parents. They accepted I was dumb too.
We must be made aware that we were being set up to fail due to what was happening in our home lives. The poor academic performance, social struggles, and poor self-esteem had nothing to do with our brightness or worth.
It was about not being able to focus for having other things on our minds.
Such as:
-The physical violence from last night in the kitchen.
-The sexual perpetrator we can't escape from.
-The energy vampire or miserable critic that is our parent.
-Were we going to have to move again?
-Is my sibling or mom ok?
-Does everyone know about my family at school?
I couldn't apply myself like many other survivors because we'd come home to domestic violence, neglect, and emotional chaos.
I want you to know that you were set up for those report cards, and those messages stayed with me in my subconscious. We were bright, curious, lovable souls who had too much going on to focus.
I know this post doesn't apply to all of us. Sometimes academic performance was our way to survive, but if you were like me, you took in that you were dumb, which was a lie.
P.S. - I almost didn't graduate high school and several years later in recovery, I got a 4.0 in my first semester of college.
It was all a lie.
