01/18/2024
TW: infant loss
I love what I do. I have cried at every birth that I have ever attended in person, and even shed tears as some of your babies were born and I was there virtually. I have helped people from all over the world. I consider every call, inquiry, and message, even if I am not hired, to be one of the biggest honors because maternal health, is what I was born to do.
I am however, only human, and there is one aspect of this career that I find, as I am sure everyone in this and like fields find incredibly difficult…
*look of fear on your faces when you know something isn’t right.
*talking about the *what ifs*
*being on the receiving end of the call telling me you’ve lost your baby. No matter what week.
* the call telling me your baby didn’t make it.
*the call when your baby didn’t wake up, because of SIDS.
I hate that these things happen, that babies and children are taken from this earth, some before we even get a chance to know them.
I hate that I can’t take away your pain, I can’t answer you when you ask me “why?”, I hate that I can’t teach you how to fix it, I hate that I can’t make it better.
Recently I had the honor,( that is truly what it is every time I’m on the receiving end of one of these calls) to photograph a baby who had lost his life to SIDS. Not only was I able to do this for this amazing family a month ago, but I was also able to be there 5 years ago when they lost their first, sweet baby boy, to SIDS.
I was able to answer questions for their oldest when she asked me about how they made him look so perfect, “like a little
doll” as she put it so well, I was able to help her hold her sweet brother so she could say goodbye.
I was able to hold his mother, reassure her that this wasn’t her fault,I was there to let her cry. I was able to hug his father, his brothers, and grandmother, and then send them photos, that they can keep, open and look at when they are ready.
This isn’t something I take lightly and just as I have cried at every birth I have attended, I have shed my fair share of tears after every phone call, funeral, or photoshoot I’ve had to do like this.
Thank you to every one that has ever called, that has ever invited me into their lives as they navigate through the pain.
Even if that call or message didn’t come for some years later, I have been truly humbled, and have met the most incredible people as they have shared their stories of loss with me.
I want to take a moment to remind you that you are not alone, you and your baby do, and always will matter.
♥️
