09/21/2025
Distracted...
Last night, I decided to cook a box of parmesan noodles. Being both hungry and lazy, it was the obvious choice. I was so proud of myself for not stooping so low as to open a bag of chips or pop a bag of popcorn and call it "dinner." Both of which l've been known to do.
So a box of parmesan noodles it was; simple, easy, and from a box. My pride grew as ! added the prescribed amount of water, milk, and even the 2 tablespoons of butter. My mind went to an anecdote l'd heard about a company that learned it would sell more boxes of cake mix by adding "add one egg" to the directions. Despite the egg being unnecessary, it provided the purchaser with plausible deniability that they weren't, in fact, taking the easy/lazy path to an inferior outcome. Oh, how the mind wanders.
Armed with my deep rooted feeling of being "better than" and enslaved to my wandering mind, I proceeded to take on other household tasks as the combination of water, milk, and butter began its journey towards a boil. It wasn't long before I heard a sizzling and turned to see my pot was boiling over! My self-centered pride was smashed.
The parmesan noodles turned out fine, but I learned to, "walk humbly, or get humiliated" yet again. I must have received this lesson a thousand times over the years, but obviously haven't taken it to heart just yet. Or perhaps there's something even deeper to recognize here?
This morning, as I scrubbed the burnt remnants of my mistake off the stove top, my mind wandered to the amends process. I drew correlations between cleaning a stove and mending the damage of my past addictions. Pride welled up inside me as I thought to myself, "what a good little 12-stepper you are" and gave myself a mental pat on the back. But then...
It hit me. The lesson was not, "walk humbly, or get humiliated" or even, "mend the damage you cause." The message was, "free yourself from mental slavery." I used to get high and listen to Bob sing those words, feeling quite justified in my action. But now, I see the deeper meaning. My mind has commandeered my actions. I must be aware of its wandering rather than a slave to it. Now, I'll "choose" to give some attention to the "pocket-brain" that I call a "smartphone." Yeah, I'm not an addict anymore; I've "recovered."
~Reed M.
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