11/29/2025
OFFICIAL STATEMENT REGARDING OUR BLACK FRIDAY FLYER:
It has come to our attention that we cannot, in fact, offer a "Buy One, Get One" deal on total knee replacements. Our legal team (and common sense) has advised us that surgery doesn't work like a shoe sale. 👞🚫
We also regret to inform you that due to supply chain issues, we are completely sold out of "Magic Pills." We do, however, have an unlimited stock of "Hard Work," "Consistency," and "Exercises You Will Learn to Love."
We apologize for the inconvenience. The 50% discount on agony is also technically a lie, but we can promise to help you trade that sharp pain for some delayed onset muscle soreness.
Come see us anyway. It’s the hardest "easy way out" you'll ever take. 😉
| Leave Happy |