The Relationship Center of Milwaukee

The Relationship Center of Milwaukee Contact information, map and directions, contact form, opening hours, services, ratings, photos, videos and announcements from The Relationship Center of Milwaukee, Marriage Therapist, 6110 N Port Washington Road, Milwaukee, WI.

01/11/2024

There is a Dan Fogelberg song lyric that runs through my head occasionally, “Once in love, you’ll always be a lover” This intoxicating explosion of physical and emotional experience is instinctual and is part of our human “wiring.” When we fall in love, we are utterly overwhelmed. Indeed, it is like being utterly possessed. And when we feel that we have found that “magical other” in that person, we cannot imagine that those feelings will ever change.

However, at some time, be it weeks, months, or years later, when the realities of life, love, and relationship converge, we find that our projections of the other fail us. Conflicts happen, as they must, and the many ways that we handle our side of the conflict might resemble the unhealthy patterns that we have grown up with, parlayed into the present and hijacking the relationship that started out with so many promises.

Sure, conflict is not easy, and how many of these hurtful patterns or “dances” between partners can a relationship take before it’s over. And if it ends, is it not inevitable that, sooner or later, we look for another, hoping to find “truer love,” searching hopefully for a more perfect partner, only to discover that we unconsciously bring our unseen and undeveloped selves into replaying the same unchecked patterns with a new person in our lives. Of course, when conflicts again arise, as they will, we can again blame the next partner, but at some point we need to realize that it might be something within ourselves that is playing itself out – having a life of its own. When will this pattern ever stop?

I believe that when we stop searching for the “magical other” we feel will make us whole and instead turn within ourselves to find that we are the common denominator of our failed relationships we can begin to recognize our shadow side and stop projecting our problems onto our partner. When we can become conscious and, indeed, “know thyself,” we can offer a better version of ourself to another and discover the real growth that conscious relationships offer.

11/27/2023

A common question I hear from couples who come to me to improve their relationship is "How can we make our relationship better?" I always say, "Well, start with your patterns."

You don't wake up in the morning and while brushing your teeth and looking n the mirror, say "Today, I'm going to do the same stupid things Ito my partner that I've done for decades." But chances are, you will. By the end of the day, you will likely have replicated some of those choices and unconscious patterns, and the consequences pile up.

Sometimes it's important to listen to what our partner tells us about our behaviors and our patterns, if we can bear listening, bear taking seriously the critique of our partner. It takes a certain amount of strength to be able to hear someone else's critique of us. An old Eastern proverb stated it, "Bless those who curse and revile you, for they shall prove your greatest teachers."

11/19/2023

“The only journey is the one within.”
Rainer Maria Rilke

Jesse Stone - Wanderer.

11/18/2023

Often in intimate relationships, we expect our partner to fix things for us, take care of us, or make us feel good about ourselves. If we really examine these projections, the agenda of our expectations, we begin to realize if we are honest, mature and accountable, Oh that's my job, I have to do that. Lifting our own unfinished business off of someone else is truly a heroic and loving thing to do.

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6110 N Port Washington Road
Milwaukee, WI
53217

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