
07/24/2025
THURSDAY — I Step Back Into It (CALLING)
At 6:15, I come back in the house. The quiet shifts. The day begins.
Aleja is usually still in bed, half-awake, curled up in her blanket with her hair everywhere. I lay next to her.
“Once upon a time, there was a little girl. And the little girl lived in a blue house. And the blue house had a white porch.”
Other days, I just hold her. I stay there while she slowly wakes up. And while I hold her, I pray the Hail Mary. It’s the same prayer that was taught to me when I was a little boy. First I heard it in Spanish, but I learned it in English.
Nothing big happens. But something about it holds everything.
After that, I go to Tiago. He’s in our bed, iPad on, sipping apple juice. He looks up when I walk in. We wrestle. I rub my spiky beard on him. He laughs and tries to get away but never goes far. I let him climb all over me. I wrap him up. It’s part of the routine. We both look forward to it. It’s simple and it’s pure. Just real joy. No explaining needed.
From there, we get moving.
Clothes. Food. Teeth. Backpacks. Lunches. Shoes. Coats.
Then we’re out the door.
“Did you forget the kids’ water bottles?”
Then we’re back in the door.
Me and Jamie move through all of it like we’re spray-painting a mural together. Not some big staged production. Just two names blending into something bigger. She’s doing the fill. I’m outlining. I know where her fade is headed before she even starts it. She knows how to stretch my letters into the background without covering them. We don’t stop to plan it. We just know. There’s a rhythm to it. And enough time together builds that kind of trust.
Jamie helps me get the kids in the car. We say our goodbyes. I turn on Bluey on my iPhone, and I get to listen to them say the words to the video. They laugh in the same spot they laughed yesterday.
Then I get to Aleja’s school. I walk her to the door. I tell her how much I love her. I squeeze her little hand. And she walks into school.
Then it’s me and Tiago. We drive down Lakeshore Drive and try to spot deer. We look for turkeys. We scan the woods for coyotes.
When we get to his school, I hold him close and I tell him the same thing every day.
“Daddy loves you. Mama loves you. Aleja loves you. Grandpa Gonzalez loves you. Grammy in heaven loves you.”
I drop him off, and he and his little friends run to the window to watch me pull off, laughing and cheering while I beep the horn at least six times as I drive away.
At 7:45, I turn the corner and pull into the parkway.
And that’s when the shift happens.
And I think that is enough. In fact, I think that is more than enough.
GONZ