4th Dimension Sobriety

4th Dimension Sobriety Our objective is to create a culture of courage, hope & inner truth. Wisconsin's largest provider of sober living space.
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4th Dimension Sobriety provides a carefully tailored, structured and effective environment to overcome substance use and addiction. Located on Milwaukee's Eastside and Riverwest areas, we are A 501(c)(3) nonprofit, 4th Dimension Sobriety receives funding from the Department of Health & Human Services. After an allotted amount of time determined by the Behavioral Health Division, residents begin to

pay rent with a variety of payment options. Our holistic approach offers a full range of services from clinical treatment and programming to transitional and sober living housing.

THURSDAY — I Step Back Into It (CALLING)At 6:15, I come back in the house. The quiet shifts. The day begins.Aleja is usu...
07/24/2025

THURSDAY — I Step Back Into It (CALLING)

At 6:15, I come back in the house. The quiet shifts. The day begins.

Aleja is usually still in bed, half-awake, curled up in her blanket with her hair everywhere. I lay next to her.

“Once upon a time, there was a little girl. And the little girl lived in a blue house. And the blue house had a white porch.”

Other days, I just hold her. I stay there while she slowly wakes up. And while I hold her, I pray the Hail Mary. It’s the same prayer that was taught to me when I was a little boy. First I heard it in Spanish, but I learned it in English.

Nothing big happens. But something about it holds everything.

After that, I go to Tiago. He’s in our bed, iPad on, sipping apple juice. He looks up when I walk in. We wrestle. I rub my spiky beard on him. He laughs and tries to get away but never goes far. I let him climb all over me. I wrap him up. It’s part of the routine. We both look forward to it. It’s simple and it’s pure. Just real joy. No explaining needed.

From there, we get moving.

Clothes. Food. Teeth. Backpacks. Lunches. Shoes. Coats.

Then we’re out the door.

“Did you forget the kids’ water bottles?”

Then we’re back in the door.

Me and Jamie move through all of it like we’re spray-painting a mural together. Not some big staged production. Just two names blending into something bigger. She’s doing the fill. I’m outlining. I know where her fade is headed before she even starts it. She knows how to stretch my letters into the background without covering them. We don’t stop to plan it. We just know. There’s a rhythm to it. And enough time together builds that kind of trust.

Jamie helps me get the kids in the car. We say our goodbyes. I turn on Bluey on my iPhone, and I get to listen to them say the words to the video. They laugh in the same spot they laughed yesterday.

Then I get to Aleja’s school. I walk her to the door. I tell her how much I love her. I squeeze her little hand. And she walks into school.

Then it’s me and Tiago. We drive down Lakeshore Drive and try to spot deer. We look for turkeys. We scan the woods for coyotes.

When we get to his school, I hold him close and I tell him the same thing every day.

“Daddy loves you. Mama loves you. Aleja loves you. Grandpa Gonzalez loves you. Grammy in heaven loves you.”

I drop him off, and he and his little friends run to the window to watch me pull off, laughing and cheering while I beep the horn at least six times as I drive away.

At 7:45, I turn the corner and pull into the parkway.

And that’s when the shift happens.

And I think that is enough. In fact, I think that is more than enough.
GONZ

WEDNESDAY — Before the World Wakes Up (UNITY)I wake up at 2:30 or 3:00 in the morning. My body just doesn’t sleep past t...
07/23/2025

WEDNESDAY — Before the World Wakes Up (UNITY)

I wake up at 2:30 or 3:00 in the morning. My body just doesn’t sleep past that anymore. And before I move, before I even open my eyes fully, the Hail Mary is already playing in my head. A prayer I first heard in Spanish but learned in English. It just starts. I don’t reach for it. I don’t make it happen. It’s just there. Like a steady chant moving quietly in the background.

It stays with me while I get up. While I walk to the kitchen. While I use the bathroom and get some caffeine in me. While I pick up the living room. I don’t usually feel anything when I pray like that. Not emotionally. Not spiritually. But that doesn’t matter. The fact that it happens at all, the fact that my mind turns to prayer before anything else, is one of the greatest gifts God has ever given me. No effort. No struggle. Just prayer. And I’m grateful for that.

By 3:30, I’m already working. It almost always starts with art. Something I’m building or sketching or designing for 4th Dimension. Never for me. At this point I can tell the difference. I know what belongs to the mission and what doesn’t.

Around 4:30, I move outside. If it’s warm, I’m on the porch. If it’s winter, I’m in the garage. No insulation. Doesn’t matter. What matters is the quiet. What matters is that God is there. I don’t always feel it. But I don’t need to. Something always happens in that time. Something shifts. Sometimes it’s peace. Sometimes it’s direction. Sometimes it’s nothing I can explain. But it’s real. And it’s enough.

At 6:15, I come back in the house.

And I think that is enough. In fact, I think that is more than enough.
GONZ

A reflection from the On Awakening painting experience, hosted by the Family of Five Parishes and presented in partnership with 4th Dimension Sobriety.

Before there was a program, there was a basement wall. I painted this in 2013, in the Riverwest duplex that would soon h...
07/22/2025

Before there was a program, there was a basement wall. I painted this in 2013, in the Riverwest duplex that would soon house eight men. I did not know what I was building yet, but I showed up anyway.

TUESDAY — I Didn’t Plan on Being That Person (RESPONSIBILITY)
A reflection from the On Awakening painting experience, hosted by the Family of Five Parishes and presented in partnership with 4th Dimension Sobriety

I’ve ended up in these roles more times than I can explain. Sometimes I step into them. Other times I don’t. But somehow I still end up at the head of it. It’s not always official. It’s not always neat. But it happens. And it keeps happening. And it’s definitely not because of the credentials I have. Because I have none. I’ve just stopped pretending it’s random.

I don’t say any of this with confidence. And I don’t think I’ve ever felt fully ready. But I show up. I stay. I’ve learned how to carry things that matter to me, even when I doubt myself. And I still doubt myself. All the time. But maybe this has never been about feeling qualified. Maybe it’s been about saying yes. Not because I understand it. But because I’m starting to believe there’s a reason I’m here. I don’t have to announce it. I just have to live it.

And I think that is enough.
In fact, I think that is more than enough.

GONZ

MONDAY — I Still Don’t Understand (FAITH)A reflection from the On Awakening painting experience, hosted by the Family of...
07/21/2025

MONDAY — I Still Don’t Understand (FAITH)
A reflection from the On Awakening painting experience, hosted by the Family of Five Parishes and presented in partnership with 4th Dimension Sobriety.

I’ve walked with people through their darkest hours. I’ve prayed and watched them change. I’ve seen what this thing can do. I’ve also buried friends. I’ve stood on porches trying to get someone to open the door before it was too late. I’ve felt so sure that a person was going to make it, only to see them disappear or relapse a week later. I’ve watched people come back. And I’ve watched people never come back. And the truth is, I still don’t understand how any of this works.

I don’t understand how grace moves. I don’t understand why I’m still here and others aren’t. I don’t know why the Spirit shows up in the ways it does. Sometimes I feel like I have nothing to offer. And other times, something comes out of me that clearly wasn’t from me at all. I still go blank when I pray. I still struggle to reflect when I’m supposed to be leading the reflection. I still wrestle with doubt. And then, out of nowhere, something shifts. I cry during a painting session. I look across the room and see someone kneeling, and it hits me. I’m not in charge of this.

I used to think faith meant feeling certain. Or being good at it. Or understanding the mystery. But I think now, maybe faith is the thing that lets me keep showing up even when I don’t. It’s not the part where I feel strong. It’s the part where I admit I’m not. And something about saying that out loud actually makes me feel steadier. Not smarter. Not more enlightened. Just steadier.

And I think that is enough. In fact, I think that is more than enough.

GONZ

☀️✌️🤩 SOBERFEST5 🤩✌️☀️
07/21/2025

☀️✌️🤩 SOBERFEST5 🤩✌️☀️

THURSDAY — I Took the Long Way Around (SURRENDER)A reflection from the On Awakening painting experience, hosted by the F...
07/18/2025

THURSDAY — I Took the Long Way Around (SURRENDER)
A reflection from the On Awakening painting experience, hosted by the Family of Five Parishes and presented in partnership with 4th Dimension Sobriety

I’ve tried to surrender more times than I can count. I’d say the prayers, show up to the meetings, do the work. I’d tell people I was letting go. And I think I meant it. But deep down, I still had an idea of how it was all supposed to go. I wanted things to turn out right. I wanted it to feel fair, or at least make sense. So I kept pushing. I’d try a new routine, or pray harder, or over-explain myself to the people around me. Not because I wanted to manipulate anyone, but because I was scared. I didn’t trust that things would unfold without me holding the reins. And even when I looked surrendered on the outside, I was still managing it in my head. That’s control. Not the loud kind.

It took a while to even see it. And when I finally did, it didn’t disappear. It still shows up. It still pretends to be faith. I don’t always know the difference, but I catch it more than I used to. And when I actually let go, it’s not clean or satisfying. Sometimes it feels like relief. Other times it feels like something falling apart. But It is Real. And where I find Truth. And in Truth is where I find God.

And I think that is enough.
In fact, I think that is more than enough.

- Gonz

07/16/2025

WEDNESDAY — I’m Still Getting Used to This (Calling)
A reflection from the On Awakening painting experience, hosted by the Family of Five Parishes and presented in partnership with 4th Dimension Sobriety.

I didn’t step into this knowing what I was doing. I didn’t sit down one day and decide this was a calling. It didn’t feel like that. It felt like stepping up because something needed to get done. Then people started asking me questions. Started listening to my answers. Started trusting me in ways I didn’t even know how to trust myself.

And I kept showing up. Sometimes unsure. Sometimes tired. But I kept coming back. There were moments where I thought, maybe I’m not the right one for this. Maybe I’m just the one who was willing. But somewhere in all of it, the role started to fit. Not like something I earned. More like something I grew into and just didn’t realize it until I was already there.

I’m still getting used to it. Still catching up to the fact that this might actually be mine to carry.

And I think that is enough.
In fact, I think that is more than enough.

– Gonz
(Vocatio)

07/14/2025

MONDAY — I Still Don’t Understand (Faith)A reflection from the On Awakening painting experience, hosted by the Family of Five Parishes and presented in partnership with 4th Dimension SobrietyThere’s been parts of this that still don’t make sense to me. I’ve heard all the explanations. I know the language. I’ve been around long enough to nod in the right places, to read the part I always read, to recite the words even when I don’t feel them. But underneath all that, there’s still something I can’t explain. The way it holds together. The way it moves. The way people walk in broken and somehow stay upright. I don’t know how that happens.Sometimes I think maybe it’s structure. Maybe it’s traditions. Maybe it’s just the routine that saves people. But then I see things shift that logic can’t touch. I see people stay when they should’ve run. I see peace where there should be collapse. I see myself, even now, not drifting the way I used to, and I don’t know how to explain it.I still doubt. I still wrestle. But I stay. And whatever this thing is, whatever name you want to give it, it keeps showing up for me when I don’t know how to show up for myself.And I think that is enough. In fact, I think that is more than enough.– Gonz

🧢🌟BREWERS WIN!🌟🧢The 4D community had a blast cheering on the Brewers and celebrating recovery and community last night!
07/12/2025

🧢🌟BREWERS WIN!🌟🧢
The 4D community had a blast cheering on the Brewers and celebrating recovery and community last night!

FRIDAY — I Think I’m Actually AliveA reflection from the On Awakening painting experience, hosted by the Family of Five ...
07/11/2025

FRIDAY — I Think I’m Actually Alive
A reflection from the On Awakening painting experience, hosted by the Family of Five Parishes and presented in partnership with 4th Dimension Sobriety

When Dan came into 4th Dimension, we didn’t have a bed open. All fourteen were full, so we put him on the couch. He didn’t complain. He just came in. We had known each other from before, but this was different. I was running the house. He was coming in as a resident. And still, there was no weirdness between us. There was just this mutual understanding, the kind that doesn’t need to be said when you come from the same place.

We come from the same line of sponsorship, and when it comes time to read our inventory to someone, we don’t overthink it. We trust that the right person will be clear when the time comes. Sometimes it’s your sponsor. Sometimes it’s someone else entirely. The point is, you write it, and you read it. You don’t wait for perfection, and you don’t hold on to it for too long. And that day, it was time.

I walked into the house and saw Dan by the stairs. I asked him what he was doing, and he said, “About to get some Oakland Gyros.” I nodded and said, “Can I read some inventory?” And just like that, he didn’t go. He didn’t sigh. He didn’t hesitate. He just said yeah and sat down.

I read for four hours. No feedback. No breakdowns. He just listened. I didn’t have to explain what I was doing, and he didn’t have to say anything wise or helpful. He knew his role, and I knew mine. That’s what makes it holy. Not the words. Not the setting. Just the fact that when God points, you move.

We didn’t talk much after. I sat on the beanbag and prayed for a while, then I got up and made some toast. And later that night, I realized something had settled. I wasn’t spinning in my head. I wasn’t preparing for collapse. I was just here. In the room. In my body. Breathing.

And I think that is enough. In fact, I think that is more than enough.

– Gonz

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Milwaukee, WI

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