Rae Hoesing PhD, Licensed Psychologist

09/28/2023

What is meditation? It isn’t trying to stop your thoughts. It is learning the art of beginning again.

Step 1. focus on the breath (or chosen object)
Step 2. notice when you become distracted
Step 3. gently let go of the distraction
Step 4. begin again

08/03/2023

✨ Being Vulnerable ✨

Even if it takes years, it is important to heal the wounded places, so we can recover the full use of our heart. For the parts of our heart left wounded and unresolved remain preoccupied and not available for us to use in living. If unprocessed, the wounded places become dark and hard. Being vulnerable allows us to recover our heart, because being vulnerable and tender allows our wounds to soften and heal.

Anger, even when legitimate, will harden, if not processed and allowed to soften. Often, when I am angry, it is because I have been hurt. When I can let the anger subside, I discover a sadness beneath it that leads me to examine where I am hurt. When I stay angry, I never let the hurt place soften and so, it can never heal. When stuck in the anger, I keep feeling the hurt, though I can’t locate and tend the hurt.

Untended, my heart becomes heavy where it is hard. Then, I walk around with a diminished heart that weighs me down with the wounded part unavailable to experience life. Staying vulnerable is both a cleansing and healing agent that allows us to become whole again. As the ancient sages all confirm, everything softens in time. If we want to soften while still alive, we have to bring our hurt places into the light.

06/30/2022

Foster self-love and compassion for all you have endured all of these years. Gently release yourself from that which keeps you weighed down.

06/19/2022

So then, this is also true: Anything someone else says or does is filtered through the lens of our personal stuff. Our reaction is not about anyone else. It is solely about us. This actually presents an empowering reality of choice and responsibility.

06/08/2022

Specific self-regulating tips for specific things that may need regulating.

05/15/2022

All steps in building our emotional intelligence.

04/03/2022

Welcome to Part 1 in my series: What is IFS? Internal Family Systems Therapy, Explained. In this video, I provide an introduction to IFS Therapy. I explain s...

10/27/2021

When should you explore couples counseling?

We typically feel most confident in areas of our lives where we have support, and our relationships are no different. Research shows that couples who seek help early have the best chance of thriving even during difficult times. It can be especially helpful to seek guidance for yourself and your loved one during big life events and transitions.

Working with a trained professional is an investment in your relationship and overall well-being. On the Gottman Relationship Blog, Terri A. Ammirati, LCPC (Ammirati Counseling) offers tips to help you seek support for your relationship: https://bit.ly/2Zv2UW5

Please note: our social media posts are not meant to address situations of abuse. For immediate support, please contact thehotline.org.

10/13/2021

09/02/2021

Between the coronavirus and the election, the news is overwhelming right now. Neuroscientist Judson Brewer can help. Take a break from the headlines and press play.