08/10/2022                                                                            
                                    
                                                                            
                                                                                     
                                    
                                                                        
                                        Unleash the Power of Saying No!  
NO, can be a complete statement. 
This is one my client’s New Year’s Resolutions and I loved it so much that it inspired this post. 
You are allowed to decide how much or how little you wish to share with people. There may be people or situations where a “No” answer is sufficient and clear. 
This is especially true when setting boundaries. So often we feel a guilt or a disappointment in saying “No” and feel the need to justify and explain ourselves. We’re trying to get out of our uncomfortable zone of disappointing someone and need to have the other person “understand us.” 
But that’s not setting a boundary, that’s hoping that our answer is “good enough”, “permissible”, or that our “friend is understanding of our predicament” and they are willing to accept our No. Our No answer now becomes questionable. Those are a lot of variables that need to go in our favor for us to feel better about our No. 
This isn’t a One Size Fits All approach, but it is an approach to add to our took kit for setting better boundaries. Depending on our situation and relationship we may need to provide context or an explanation but that is not the same as needing a reason or an excuse for our No. 
These are subtle differences but they make the difference in how it is received and most importantly whether we feel entitled to our answer. 
If you’re not sure which camp of No you currently lie in, notice your interactions. Notice your tone, your body language and your words. Do they all match up to convey the same message? 
This is a simple concept but it is not simple to do. Start small, start noticing and start practicing with easier interactions. 
What about you, what’s the most difficult part with setting boundaries and saying No?