12/16/2025
Navigating Relationships and the Holiday by Becca Barcom, MCSP Therapist
Relationships are commonly one of the most difficult aspects of being a human. There are many considerations we make for ourselves, others, and the relationship itself. To complicate matters further, the world gives us- *December*. December is filled with many realities: darkness, cold
(depending on where you live), insurance changes, end of year goals, illness season, and… the holidays. December is full of holidays that many people celebrate. Whether you celebrate Hanukkah, Kwanza, Christmas, Winter Solstice, Boxing Day, or the end of the calendar year, chances are you may have a heightened amount of interaction this month. Whether with family or friends, relationships may have extra requirements and considerations this time of year. How best to navigate this reality? Let’s find out some options in the following paragraphs.
1. Focus on yourself (for the most part).
While it may seem counterintuitive to focus on yourself when trying to navigate a relationship, it is an essential step. Without exploring our part of the equation, it will be impossible to find an “okay enough” solution to help us through the holiday season. It can be helpful to have a notebook handy, and work through several explorations. Firstly, ask yourself:
●How am I lately?
●What emotions have been common for me?
●Do I notice any relationships I’m worried about engaging with?
●Where am I in my Window of Tolerance? What protective moves have I been
activating?
2. Engage in non-judgemental assessment of the relationship/situation.
Once you’ve explored your experience, land on any relationships that feel tricky or you feel worried about. Call upon the skill of non-judgement, and list out all of the pros and cons of being around this person. Ask yourself, am I willing to experience the cons to get
some of the pros? If not, consider exploring some of your interaction needs. If so, identify some of the cons, and list out a resource or boundary for each con. This pre-planning can assist you in feeling calmer and more confident in engaging with this person.
3. Focus on yourself (again).
Really an important step. Ask yourself what else you need, and what else might be supportive for you before you start engaging in certain relationships. Perhaps you want to try and schedule more sleep, get your favorite coffee, or find your favorite scarf to wear to feel protected and comfortable.
4. Reach out to positive relationship support. We cannot solve relationships on our own. It can be extremely helpful to experience relationships that do feel supportive and pleasant as we navigate unsteady relationships. If it feels difficult to reach out to others, try and mindfully explore what it’s like to experience neutral relationships. “How did I feel ordering my coffee from the barista?” “What was it like to talk to that librarian and have them help me?”
As you go out into the rest of your month, we here at MCSP hope you can have the unique December experience you need. If you have questions or difficulty exploring your own needs, boundaries, and relationships, feel free to reach out to MCSP via our website or phone to
schedule an appointment.
*Content is for informational and educational purposes only and is not a substitute for therapy
with your professional therapist