05/19/2024
I’ve often thought of meditation as being like a fractal, where one small part of something is a tiny, perfect replica of the whole. The moment our attention wanders away from our chosen object in meditation — a sound, a visualization, a mantra, the feeling of the breath, whatever it is — we are guided to gently let go of whatever has distracted us and begin again by returning awareness to that object.
That’s the fractal moment: practicing letting go and beginning again in that micro setting is the replica of having flubbed something at work and needing to begin again, or having strayed from our deepest aspiration or chosen course and having to begin again, or finding that we have fallen down and needing to stand up and begin again.
In actuality, meditation is simple, but not easy: you rest your attention on something like the breath in order to stay present, and, as thoughts carry you away, you begin again an incalculable number of times. That is why meditation is a practice. It is this practice of training one’s attention that makes meditation so powerful.
Conditioning tells us that if we would only berate ourselves enough, blame ourselves enough, and consider ourselves failures enough, we’d accomplish a lot more. In truth, those habits usually leave us exhausted and demoralized. If we were to look at how we accomplish the most, make the most progress in any endeavor, or put out the most sustained effort in seeking change, it’s a very different environment that brings us closer to our aim.
The invitation to begin again (and again and again) that meditation affords is an invitation for the practice of self-compassion — to heal through letting go rather than harming ourselves with cycles of self-doubt, judgment, and criticism. Beginning again is a powerful form of resilience training.
Each time we become distracted or lost in our judgments, assumptions, and other thoughts, we can return to the moment, the most portable and dependable resource at our disposal. We see that no matter what, we can always begin again.