09/17/2024
The Paradox of Happiness: Can We Achieve It by Chasing It?
Happiness is something we all strive for, yet the harder we chase it, the more elusive it often becomes. This is the core of the paradox of happiness: can we really achieve happiness by pursuing it directly, or does happiness come when we stop trying to find it?
Epicurus, the ancient Greek philosopher, believed that happiness was about simple pleasures and freedom from pain. To him, the key to happiness was ataraxia—a state of serene calmness. In his work 'Letter to Menoeceus' (https://amzn.to/3TS7oiX [ad]), Epicurus advised that we should focus on minimizing desires rather than maximizing pleasures. He said, “Do not spoil what you have by desiring what you have not; remember that what you now have was once among the things you only hoped for.” His idea was that when we stop constantly chasing after new pleasures, we can appreciate the contentment of what we already have.
On the other hand, Viktor Frankl, a Holocaust survivor and psychologist, argued that happiness is not something to be pursued, but rather, it ensues as a result of living a life of meaning and purpose. In his famous book 'Man’s Search for Meaning' (https://amzn.to/3XK07nE [ad]), Frankl wrote, “Happiness cannot be pursued; it must ensue.” For him, happiness was a byproduct of finding meaning in life, especially in the face of suffering. Frankl believed that when we focus on living with purpose—whether through relationships, work, or service—happiness naturally follows.
The Buddhist perspective takes this idea further, suggesting that happiness comes from detachment from desires altogether. In Buddhism, suffering arises from craving and attachment. The Buddha taught that nirvana, or the highest state of happiness, can be achieved by letting go of the desire for things to be different from how they are. This detachment isn’t about rejecting life but rather about accepting it fully, without clinging to specific outcomes. In 'The Dhammapada' (https://amzn.to/4gp4Xh8 [ad]), the Buddha says, “Peace comes from within. Do not seek it without.”
Jeanette Winterson, a modern British author and thinker, adds another layer to this paradox. She suggests that happiness is not a permanent state we can attain, but something fleeting and circumstantial. Instead, she emphasizes that the true pursuit is not happiness itself but living a meaningful life. In her book 'Why Be Happy When You Could Be Normal?' (https://amzn.to/4gp55x8 [ad]), she writes: “Pursuing happiness, and I did, and I still do, is not at all the same as being happy—which I think is fleeting, dependent on circumstances. If the sun is shining, stand in it—yes, yes, yes. Happy times are great, but happy times pass—they have to because time passes. The pursuit of happiness is more elusive; it is life-long, and it is not goal-centered. What you are pursuing is meaning—a meaningful life.”
So, what do these views have in common? They all suggest that happiness is less about the constant pursuit of external pleasures and more about a mindset of acceptance, meaning, and contentment. When we stop fixating on happiness itself, we allow it to emerge naturally, often in unexpected ways.
Do you think happiness is something we can ever truly attain, or is it more about the journey and finding meaning along the way? What has your own experience been?
Art: 'Port d’Antibes', 1917 by Paul Signac
