The Better Living Collaborative

31/08/2025

It's happening more and more: someone comes to me feeling helpless, or guilty, because they are so upset about the things going on in the world that it's hard to carry on.

My first question is - 𝘞𝘩𝘺 𝘸𝘰𝘶𝘭𝘥 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘦𝘹𝘱𝘦𝘤𝘵 𝘵𝘰 𝘣𝘦 𝘢𝘣𝘭𝘦 𝘵𝘰 𝘧𝘶𝘯𝘤𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯 𝘯𝘰𝘳𝘮𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘺 𝘸𝘩𝘦𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘦'𝘴 𝘯𝘰𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘯𝘰𝘳𝘮𝘢𝘭 𝘢𝘣𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘸𝘩𝘢𝘵'𝘴 𝘨𝘰𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘰𝘯?

As a feeling, caring human, of course you are struggling. If you've been paying attention at all, of course you are upset. It's upsetting. It's all deeply upsetting.

But I don't want you to suffer. That won't help anyone. So, after we recognize that it's absolutely okay - and in fact completely normal - to be upset by what's going on, let's look at some strategies to create a little relief.

Treat yourself extra kindly right now. A little extra sleep, a creative distraction, a little bit of nature, can all go a long way towards grounding you and give your nervous system a much-needed break.

Keep a routine if you can. Something predictable can help move you through your day. Avoid constant social media scrolling - set aside a time to look, then move on. Your body is not calibrated to take on trauma 24/7.

Taking action can feel empowering - but take the action that suits you, not someone else. Say 'no' to the other things.

Even if you're an introvert, don't isolate. Find your safe space and spend a little time there regularly.

Get support. Counselors, therapists, coaches, peer groups, etc. are all here to navigate and process these tough times with you. It's what we're for.

Be Well, friends - Be Radically Well - you are not alone.

31/08/2025

What makes a deck of affirmation cards trauma-informed? 🌟

This isn't just any average deck: it's 'Radically Well'! ☀️

A Radically Well affirmation includes all the empowerment, all of the reminders of ways to honor and look at our experiences, but minus the toxic positivity present in so many other decks. 🃏

In this deck of 54 affirmations, you'll get original artwork and be supported and reminded of your individual worth, the power of your perspective, and the ways in which you have been and can be empowered. 💪🏼🧠💚

Want to see for yourself? Visit me at an upcoming market locallly or order at the Thrivorship store on the MylestoGo.net website - a limited number are in stock now! Want to order in bulk for your team or community group? DM me for wholesale rates. 📬

28/08/2025

I have a habit of binge watching TV dramas... especially the ones about hospitals, politicians, or lawyers. It's something I was doing long before 'streaming' was an option. I just lived for those TV marathons! 📺

And, especially in those early years, I was binging those shows to transport me away from my own life. Anything to get out of my own head, away from my feelings, and forget about my situation. 🧠

Sound familiar?

There's really nothing wrong with the occasional escape - in fact, it can be a much needed respite from time-to-time. But I want to tell you - it's not helping you. Escaping is a delay-of-game and nothing more. ✨

That's why Intention Matters -
And that's never more true than when we are doing something for ourselves (whether we call it 'self-care' or not).

You must be in collaboration - in connection - with yourself. Your intentions must align with what you really need and, truth be told, what you need is never going to be to bury those feelings and escape. 🌈

Can binge-watching be self-care? Sure - but only with intention.

Eating your favorite food can be self-care - if your intention is to have a beautiful sensory experience, or to engage in nostalgic recall it certainly may be. But if it's to numb you to what is happening around you, that's just not going to work. 🍚

Like the honeybee, you have to take and give to yourself in collaboration with your own needs - to feed you, not starve you. 🐝

27/08/2025

As trauma survivors, we often dismiss our rightful place.
We step back.
We stand down.
We remain quiet.

After all, there was likely a time when doing this was the best way to survive. And not only is there nothing wrong with what you did, there's nothing wrong with feeling compelled to still do it.

But, you also need to know that stepping away from the table means your voice is lost - or worse.

Knowing we are safe now means working to craft a new survival approach; the one where you step into your power. Radical wellness tools permit us to work on new programming and new responses so we can take our rightful place AT the table - not on it.
Step forward.
Stand up.
Speak out.

26/08/2025

There are many who know that I make a lot of art and that I often use the hashtag . Recently, I had a client ask me if that was really true - was art really my therapy?

Short answer: Yes.

Long answer: Yes - AND...

One of the reasons I make art is to help me process the world as I experience it, or sometimes as I wish it was. I use art to communicate where I find hope, discover memories, and encounter my own desires. I also use the process of making art to help me process things unrelated to art - art is part of my grounding and mindfulness practice. These practices are fundamental to my ability to manage stressors, triggers, and traumas. It's part of my own 'Radical Wellness' formula. Art centers me so I can learn to be okay even when the world around me is not. Once I'm grounded, and centered I can take on the change - but not before.

AND
Art is not my only therapy. Over the years I've engaged a variety of coaches, therapists, attended group therapy and support groups. I also journal, use somatic practices (like hot vinyasa yoga), and other arts approaches including drama and music. Because there's nothing wrong - and in fact, it's something to celebrate - when you desire to offer the world - and yourself - the best version of you.
So make art - or music - or break into a spontaneous dance. Seek out the coaches, the counselors, the mentors, and the peers who celebrate you.
Get creative - and set your mind free.

25/08/2025

One of the reasons I developed Radical Wellness is because I've seen this exact approach all too often. We are waiting for the trauma (for the hard thing if the word 'trauma' makes you squeamish) before we learn to deal with it.

That's a bad plan for most things - but it's especially bad for learning to deal with trauma. Here's why:

When you encounter something that causes a trauma-response (or a trigger) in you, your brain does its job and alerts the 'first responder', your amygdala. Amygdala has one job and it does it very, very well - to keep you safe. That includes shutting down or overriding much of the rest of your brain - including your frontal lobe (where the pre-frontal and frontal cortex's dealing with problem-solving, language, decision-making, regulation, etc.) live.

If you don't know how to calm and regulate this response before it happens, you aren't going to be able to manage it during, or after, the event.

Radical Wellness acknowledges that hard things are going to happen to us in life and, instead of shying away from that fact, looks at all the ways we can understand ourselves and our needs so that we have skills at-the-ready to respond to that fire.

Whether you need to learn this skill for the first time - or relearn it - to manage what's in front of you, visit me at The Better Living Collaborative and I can help!

24/08/2025

22/08/2025

21/08/2025

We have to talk about the power of weaponized words for a minute - even without recognizing it, we can fall into the trap of using/welding words to exert control or elicit feelings of worth, value, etc.

I've done it. I've even done with the word on my post - Victim.

I have hated that word for the duration of my time 'inside' the category. In fact, I think I wrote about how disempowering that word is for a trauma-informed post and have railed against its presence on things like the 'Victims of Crime' paperwork I was once forced to fill out.

Now, I'm not wrong about the word being disempowering - it is. BUT, it's disempowering because of the way it's been weaponized, not because the word itself is a problem. We use the word 'victim' as a tool for shame and for silence. We use the word TO disempower. And that's the actual weaponization of it.

Think about it - if you can convince someone (me, for example) that sharing abuse, or sharing an injustice, or calling out a systemic wrong, makes me someone who is weak, or manipulative, or failing to take responsibility, you'll likely shut me up. And even if you don't, if you can paint me in that light, I'm discredited. That means the status quo can continue, undisturbed by its 'victims.'

But 'don't be a victim' is hollow - if you've been abused, suffered injustice, been taken advantage of - you ARE a victim (sorry to say.)

You just don't have to be ONLY a victim - You can also be a survivor, warrior, victor, change-agent, or whatever else you want. And, you know things others don't if they weren't a victim - you've got wisdom.

Victim = has been victimized.
Victim ≠ can't be anything else.

20/08/2025

Did you know you can find me in the Safe Space Alliance directory?

(From their website)
"The Safe Space Alliance (Safespacealliance.com) is a LGBTQI+ led nonprofit organisation that helps people identify, navigate, and create safe spaces for LGBTQI+ communities worldwide. Our two core activities include maintaining an online directory of spaces around the world that welcome and support LGBTQI+ communities, and helping LGBTQI+ people get to safety. Being part of the Safe Space Alliance is being part of a global and collaborative network that welcomes and supports LGBTQI+ communities."

Whether you are part of the LGBTQI+ community or are a supporter of the community, I encourage you to visit the directory, look for businesses and services that align with your values, and support them. It's imperative now, more than ever, that we get behind marginalized communities and stand PROUD for safety and diversity for all of us.