The Better Living Collaborative

11/14/2025

11/13/2025

One of the reasons I developed Radical Wellness is because I've seen this exact approach all too often. We are waiting for the trauma (for the hard thing if the word 'trauma' makes you squeamish) before we learn to deal with it.

That's a bad plan for most things - but it's especially bad for learning to deal with trauma. Here's why:

When you encounter something that causes a trauma-response (or a trigger) in you, your brain does its job and alerts the 'first responder', your amygdala. Amygdala has one job and it does it very, very well - to keep you safe. That includes shutting down or overriding much of the rest of your brain - including your frontal lobe (where the pre-frontal and frontal cortex's dealing with problem-solving, language, decision-making, regulation, etc.) live.

If you don't know how to calm and regulate this response before it happens, you aren't going to be able to manage it during, or after, the event.

Radical Wellness acknowledges that hard things are going to happen to us in life and, instead of shying away from that fact, looks at all the ways we can understand ourselves and our needs so that we have skills at-the-ready to respond to that fire.

11/12/2025

As a doctoral student in Mental Health Counseling, I know the value of therapy.
As a DV survivor, I know the value of therapy.
As a parent, I know the value of therapy.
As a human in a world that often seems so harsh, I know the value of therapy.

I also know the stigma of the work I do - and the treatment I use. But it doesn't need to be that way. Let's normalize therapy - with a little levity 🥸

Therapy Nerd merchandise is my personal design - a playful way to start the conversation about why we can all use a little therapy from time to time. Tee's, hoodies, bags, pillowcases, and hats in a variety of fun colors and styles - with more to come. Shop the store and become an advocate today. You never know who you might empower!

betterlivingcollab.com/store

Because therapy isn’t weird—pretending you don’t need it is!

11/11/2025

We get caught up in the nuance of this a lot...

Trauma Survivors: Healing after trauma isn’t about blaming yourself for what you went through. Especially if you were young—it was NEVER your fault. Even if you felt powerless, your mind and body channeled their warrior spirit to help you survive. And you did. And you're here.

Now, YOU get to write your story. Being accountable in your now means you’re in charge of your healing, your growth, and how you react to triggers. Changing & healing doesn’t mean punishing yourself for the ways you survived—it means acknowledging your strength and refusing to let your past define you.

You can hold compassion for who you were, and still champion who you’re becoming. Both are true.

Ready to move forward? Let's do this.

11/10/2025

BREAKING: The Supreme Court DECLINED to hear Kim Davis’ challenge to the constitutional protections for marriage equality. Thanks to the hard work of HRC and our partners, marriage equality remains the law of the land through Obergefell v. Hodges and the Respect for Marriage Act.

We won’t let up. We will keep fighting until all of us are free.

11/10/2025

One of the reasons I developed Radical Wellness is because I've seen this exact approach all too often. We are waiting for the trauma (for the hard thing if the word 'trauma' makes you squeamish) before we learn to deal with it.

That's a bad plan for most things - but it's especially bad for learning to deal with trauma. Here's why:

When you encounter something that causes a trauma-response (or a trigger) in you, your brain does its job and alerts the 'first responder', your amygdala. Amygdala has one job and it does it very, very well - to keep you safe. That includes shutting down or overriding much of the rest of your brain - including your frontal lobe (where the pre-frontal and frontal cortex's dealing with problem-solving, language, decision-making, regulation, etc.) live.

If you don't know how to calm and regulate this response before it happens, you aren't going to be able to manage it during, or after, the event.

Radical Wellness acknowledges that hard things are going to happen to us in life and, instead of shying away from that fact, looks at all the ways we can understand ourselves and our needs so that we have skills at-the-ready to respond to that fire.

Whether you need to learn this skill for the first time - or relearn it - to manage what's in front of you, visit me at The Better Living Collaborative and I can help!

11/09/2025

I've decided to expand my client base while interning - offering $30 in-person or telehealth therapy sessions in South Carolina (no insurance.) With everything going on in the world, being able to offer something that is affordable and accessible is important to me. If I can support you, or someone you know, please reach out. I'd love to accompany you on your healing journey!

11/07/2025

There are many who know that I make a lot of art and that I often use the hashtag . Recently, I had a client ask me if that was really true - was art really my therapy?

Short answer: Yes.

Long answer: Yes - AND...

One of the reasons I make art is to help me process the world as I experience it, or sometimes as I wish it was. I use art to communicate where I find hope, discover memories, and encounter my own desires. I also use the process of making art to help me process things unrelated to art - art is part of my grounding and mindfulness practice. These practices are fundamental to my ability to manage stressors, triggers, and traumas. It's part of my own 'Radical Wellness' formula. Art centers me so I can learn to be okay even when the world around me is not. Once I'm grounded, and centered I can take on the change - but not before.

AND
Art is not my only therapy. Over the years I've engaged a variety of coaches, therapists, attended group therapy and support groups. I also journal, use somatic practices (like hot vinyasa yoga), and other arts approaches including drama and music. Because there's nothing wrong - and in fact, it's something to celebrate - when you desire to offer the world - and yourself - the best version of you.
So make art - or music - or break into a spontaneous dance. Seek out the coaches, the counselors, the mentors, and the peers who celebrate you.
Get creative - and set your mind free.

11/06/2025

It's happening more and more: someone comes to me feeling helpless, or guilty, because they are so upset about the things going on in the world that it's hard to carry on.

My first question is - 𝘞𝘩𝘺 𝘸𝘰𝘶𝘭𝘥 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘦𝘹𝘱𝘦𝘤𝘵 𝘵𝘰 𝘣𝘦 𝘢𝘣𝘭𝘦 𝘵𝘰 𝘧𝘶𝘯𝘤𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯 𝘯𝘰𝘳𝘮𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘺 𝘸𝘩𝘦𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘦'𝘴 𝘯𝘰𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘯𝘰𝘳𝘮𝘢𝘭 𝘢𝘣𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘸𝘩𝘢𝘵'𝘴 𝘨𝘰𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘰𝘯?

As a feeling, caring human, of course you are struggling. If you've been paying attention at all, of course you are upset. It's upsetting. It's all deeply upsetting.

But I don't want you to suffer. That won't help anyone. So, after we recognize that it's absolutely okay - and in fact completely normal - to be upset by what's going on, let's look at some strategies to create a little relief.

Treat yourself extra kindly right now. A little extra sleep, a creative distraction, a little bit of nature, can all go a long way towards grounding you and give your nervous system a much-needed break.

Keep a routine if you can. Something predictable can help move you through your day. Avoid constant social media scrolling - set aside a time to look, then move on. Your body is not calibrated to take on trauma 24/7.

Taking action can feel empowering - but take the action that suits you, not someone else. Say 'no' to the other things.

Even if you're an introvert, don't isolate. Find your safe space and spend a little time there regularly.

Get support. Counselors, therapists, coaches, peer groups, etc. are all here to navigate and process these tough times with you. It's what we're for.

Be Well, friends - Be Radically Well - you are not alone.

11/05/2025

It doesn't have to be all or nothing - in fact, being means embracing BOTH dichotomies. If you can learn to do that, you'll find the you feel better both because YOU feel better and because you also made OTHERS feel better!

11/02/2025

Coaching and therapy - not the same thing! But how are they different and how do you know what the best fit for you is?

Are you looking for context for patterns and struggles that come back again and again? Are you concerned about escalating issues that are impacting your daily life (like feeling a lot of anxiety or feeling very depressed?) Do you think you may need a diagnosis of a potential mental health condition? These are therapy-based directions and a counselor/therapist is likely the right choice for you. Remember, therapists and counselors are licensed by state - many, but not all, take insurance.

Are you working on a present goal that just seems elusive? Do you need guidance on breaking down your approach to wellness or help navigating a current challenge? Do you need a strategic partner or someone to work with you on accountability? Coaching is likely a very good fit for you. Coaches come with a variety of experiences, credentials, and/or degrees: make sure your coach has training that aligns with your goals.

No matter which path (or both!) you choose, ask all of your questions to any provider. We should always be willing to answer you honestly, transparently, and provide you with the guidance you need to make the best decision for YOUR NEEDS.

My coaching practice will soon include counseling services as well - check out my current 1:1 and group coaching options and reach out if you have any questions!