05/09/2025
Licensed clinical therapist Garry Holbrook doesn’t think we can go through life without stress.
There's good stress and bad stress according to Holbrook. Good stress motivates us to become better, and bad stress decreases motivation and makes us feel sad and anxious.
Handling stress effectively can help us feel better and maintain health. First, it helps to understand the difference between external and internal stress according to Holbrook.
“External stress might come from the economy, finances, a car breakdown, or a child misbehaving— things we can’t control,” Holbrook said. “Internal stress is what happens inside of us and we can control.”
Changing how we react to stress is key. According to Holbrook, positive self-talk is one way to overcome internal stress. Being aware of emotions but not letting them overcome rational thinking is important. Breaking stressful tasks down into small pieces and focusing on the success of the smaller tasks is a great way to accomplish daunting jobs.
Finding a temporary distraction can also help, Holbrook said. If you listen to music to help deal with stress, Holbrook recommends listening to the specific instruments, being mindful and present in the moment. Practicing mindfulness and focusing on the present are great ways to combat stress according to Holbrook.
It’s also important to realize that we all mistakes, Holbrook said. They key is to learn from them instead of dwelling on them.
"If you get to the point when your brain continues to go down the negative road of, 'I’m bad, I failed, I’m incomplete, I’m in danger, I’m inadequate,' and you can't get out of that mindset, you should seek professional help from a therapist or doctor, or even just talk to a friend or family member."
It’s much better to address stress by managing our self-talk, talking with friends or family, or seeking professional help than to let it build. Chronic stress has been shown to increase risk for certain serious diseases according to Holbrook.
"There’s a correlation between stress and dementia. There’s a correlation between stress and cancer. There’s a correlation between stress and high blood pressure,” Holbrook said. “If stress is continuous, chronic, or persistent, it's not healthy. It's not going to do you any good. It's going to affect your health and emotional well-being and your relationships with those around you."
Self-comparison is another damaging practice that Holbrook thinks we should avoid.
“We like to compare ourselves to other people, and usually our brain will choose people who we're inadequate to,” Holbrook said.
“When I play basketball, I'm not as good as Michael Jordan, but I like to believe I am. When I miss a shot, I think, 'Michael Jordan wouldn't have missed that shot!' I’m comparing myself to someone else, but I should realize I am who I am. I'm a good, average basketball player who’s good at other things, too. I’m good at my job.”
“Don't compare yourself to other people, because if you do, you'll only feel depressed or discouraged or anxious."
Stress can be good in some instances. However, too much stress can have long-lasting, negative effects. If you feel stressed and it’s seriously affecting the way you think or feel, it’s time to do something about it. Try positive self-talk, breaking down stressful tasks, finding healthy distractions, being present and mindful, and not comparing yourself to others. Keep in mind, too, that friends, family, and health professionals can help.
To discuss stress management with a health professional, call (435) 462-3471 and schedule an appointment at the Mt. Pleasant Clinic.
Learn more about coping with stress and worry: https://intermountainhealthcare.org/conditions-treatments/coping-with-stress
