Center for N.I.

11/18/2025

11/16/2025

Lessons in Life, Love and Healing.
Glenn S. Cohen -
Center for Neurological Intelligence
www.centerforni.com
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11/16/2025

From Armor to Openness:
The Power of Surrender in Love

"Defensiveness may protect the wound,
but surrender is what heals it."

When relationships hit what I call dysfunction junction, two predictable defense patterns tend to emerge.

The first is denial. One partner points the finger outward, certain that every problem belongs to the other. In session, it’s almost cinematic, no matter what the issue, their eyes plead with me to validate their case: “See what I have to deal with?” They’ve mastered the art of deflection, yet remain blind to their own part in the cycle.

The second defense is battle mode. Imagine strapping on medieval armor: steel helmet, body casing, and boots. You’re hypervigilant, scanning for threats, ready to argue, debate, and prove. I once worked with a client who carried himself like a chess master, waiting to counter every word his partner spoke. But beneath his armor was not power, it was pain. When I asked him to pause, close his eyes, and breathe, tears welled up. His anger wasn’t about winning an argument; it was protecting a wound of feeling unseen and hurt.

This is the paradox: the more we resist, the less we heal. True growth begins not in blame or armor, but in surrender. Surrender is not weakness, it is courage. It is choosing to melt the Teflon shield, to take responsibility for your part, to trust that transformation is possible. So the question becomes: what piece of armor are you willing to lay down today to make space for love, healing, and change?

Like trying to hug someone through a suit of armor, defensiveness keeps us from feeling the warmth that’s already available. So, what shield do you notice yourself carrying in relationships, denial, blame, or battle, and what would it feel like to set it down, even for a moment?

“I release my armor
and open to the possibility
of love, healing, and growth.”

11/12/2025

Past, Present, Future:
The Tree of Your Transformation

"Your past is the soil, your present the trunk,
your future the skyward reach,
healing is what lets them grow together in harmony."

Healing isn’t about erasing your past; it’s about nourishing your roots so your branches can reach for the sky.

Your life is a living story, unfolding across three paths: past, present, and future. At different times, one of these paths calls louder than the others. Growth begins when you learn how to listen and work with each intentionally.

Think of your journey as the Tree of Life:

1. The Past: Roots
Your roots hold both nourishment and wounding. They store the imprints of childhood and adolescents, moments of love, pain, safety, or neglect, that quietly shaped your beliefs about who you are. Left untended, tangled roots pull you back into repeating old patterns. Healing the past is about gently digging into the soil, revealing what’s buried, and giving it new nourishment.

2. The Present: Trunk
The trunk is where energy flows in real time. It represents your daily choices, how you react when triggered, how you show up in relationships, how you care for yourself. Present work is about pausing in the moment, shifting from protection into presence, and choosing new, empowered responses. Each shift strengthens your trunk, giving your whole tree stability.

3. The Future: Branches and Leaves
Your branches stretch toward possibility. The future isn’t only about external goals like career or family; it’s also about becoming the version of yourself who can live those dreams with authenticity and joy. When roots are healed and the trunk is steady, the branches grow freely, reaching higher without fear of breaking.

Past, present, and future are not separate timelines, they are a living conversation inside you. And you are the gardener who guides them all.

Your life is a garden. The past is the soil, rich or malnourished. The present is the care you give it daily. The future is the harvest, nourished by every choice you make today. So, which part of your “Tree of Life” is asking for your attention right now, your roots, your trunk, or your branches?

11/09/2025

When Love Meets Reactivity:
Will You Bring Salt or Healing?

"Reactivity is not a weapon aimed at you,
it’s a wound crying out to be healed."

When your partner is reactive, it rarely looks like a cry for help. It feels like claws out, words sharp, energy fierce. But beneath the surface, reactivity is not an attack, it’s an eruption of unresolved pain. What you’re seeing is not your enemy; it’s your partner’s nervous system in survival mode.

Most people don’t want to spiral into rage, collapse into tears, or shut down in silence. They don’t want their past to hijack the present. They want to be rescued; from the flood of emotion they can’t control. The problem? Their plea doesn’t come wrapped in softness; it comes wrapped in fire.

Here’s the turning point: you can choose whether to escalate the flames or calm the storm. Do you throw salt on their wound with blame, defensiveness, or retreat? Or do you offer healing ointment, grounding yourself, listening with compassion, and creating safety so they can return to center?

Picture it this way: your partner’s inner world is like a house suddenly on fire. Do you run in with more flames, or do you bring water? Rescue doesn’t mean excusing bad behavior, it means refusing to add fuel to the fire. You remain steady, attuned, and compassionate, not making it about you, but helping them find their way back.

Partnership is built in these exact moments. Every time reactivity strikes, you have a choice: adversary or ally, salt or ointment. Your response can either deepen the wound or help heal it.

Which will you choose next time?

Reactivity is like a house fire, it spreads fast, burns hot, and destroys connection. You can either throw gasoline on the flames or bring the water that saves it. So, when your loved one is triggered, how do you usually respond, by adding fuel to the fire or by bringing calm to the chaos?