02/13/2026
There was a time when everything in my life felt like it was collapsing.
Five years of hardship stripped me down to almost nothing — mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. I was exhausted, angry, and completely lost. I didn’t believe in looking inward. I didn’t believe in the light. And if I’m honest, I wanted nothing to do with love.
I was suicidal.
Not quietly broken — dangerous. Hair-trigger. Like a Kodiak bear waking from hibernation, ready to tear into anything that crossed my path. Looking back, I’m grateful no one pushed me in that state, because the destruction would have been real.
I hadn’t cried in 25 years.
I didn’t pray.
I didn’t believe in angels, protection, or spirit.
The only thing I knew for certain was that I loved my children — and that love kept one small flame alive when everything else felt dark.
Some one very special told me to go to a very sacred place of water.
To surrender.
To give everything to God.
I didn’t believe it would matter. But I knew I was standing on a line — between becoming a villain or destroying myself. So I went.
Midnight. Freezing cold. No drugs. No alcohol. Just raw suffering and silence.
The moment I submerged my head beneath the water, I saw two figures — light and dark.
Me versus me.
And in that instant I understood something deeper than words.
It felt as if I had lived since the beginning of time, lifetime after lifetime resisting the light, choosing darkness, wanting nothing to do with it. I despised the light… until that moment.
Right there, I understood that choice is constant — not once, not occasionally, but in every decision moving forward.
I chose the light.
From that night on, everything changed. I gave myself to God and was reborn in a way I cannot fully explain. Grace met me where I stood. Forgiveness met me where I believed none existed. And I realized something that will never leave me:
The light is not a feeling.
It is not a phase.
It is a path.
In your darkest moments — especially your darkest moments — look toward the light in all things. Walk with it. Stand in it. Because darkness cannot remain where light is chosen without hesitation.
My hope is that every man or woman who turns toward the light becomes a small repayment for the harm I feel I’ve carried across lifetimes. This is my promise moving forward.
Stay blessed.
Walk in the light — always.
🪽
