Child & Adolescent Psychotherapy Services

07/24/2025

A gentle reminder to clients.....Remember: Your thoughts are powerful.
You become what you think about.
Your thoughts shape your feelings, your feelings drive your actions, your actions create your habits, and your habits build your lifestyle.
And ultimately, your lifestyle determines your destiny.

Thoughts are not just background noise—they are the foundation of everything you feel and do.
So challenge them. Question them.
Take control of what you think about—because your mind is the steering wheel of your life.
– With care,
Your Therapist

07/21/2025

We lost a caring person and valued colleague this week, and it’s truly a great loss to the children and families in Morris County.

While I didn’t know Michele personally outside of work, I witnessed the heart, dedication, and passion she brought to her work. Her commitment to supporting young people and their families was evident — and that impact will be felt for a long time to come.

My thoughts are with her loved ones, and with all the children, families, and colleagues who were fortunate enough to be touched by her work.

Michele will be missed.

In honor of Michele, please join us for a Celebration of Life to honor her beautiful spirit, legacy, and the love she shared with so many. ❤️
 
https://normandean.com/tribute/details/11689/Michele-Parkins/obituary.html

07/19/2025

A gentle note to my cleints: Struggling with worries and regulating emotions—especially when your emotional reaction might be more intense than the situation calls for? Try this DBT skill ~CHECK THE FACTS – Challenge Unhelpful Thoughts
Use when: Your feelings are really strong and you’re not sure why.
Steps:
Ask: What happened? What are the facts?

Are my thoughts or assumptions really true?

What emotion am I feeling, and does it fit the facts?

What’s a more accurate or helpful way to see this?

Why it works: Helps stop emotions that spiral from false beliefs or misinterpretations.

– With care,
Your Therapist

07/19/2025

A gentle note to my clients- Parenting a 20-Something? Try Shifting from “Over” to “With”

Parenting doesn’t end when your child turns 18—it just changes.

Many parents of 20-somethings feel frustrated, especially when their child seems stuck, unmotivated, or overwhelmed. Maybe you find yourself saying things like:

“Why aren’t you doing more?”
“When are you going to figure this out?”
“You have so much potential—what’s the holdup?”

These questions often come from love and concern, but to your child, they can feel like pressure or criticism—especially if they’re already feeling lost.

Here’s a mindset shift that can make a big difference:

Move from parenting over to parenting with.

Instead of saying:
“Why aren’t you doing X?”

Try saying:
“I’ve noticed X hasn’t happened. Want to think it through together?”
“What’s feeling hard or overwhelming right now?”
“How can I support you without taking over?”

This kind of language helps adult children feel respected, not managed. It invites problem-solving instead of power struggles.

Remember:
Many 20-somethings are overwhelmed, not lazy.
They may feel shame about their stuckness and not know how to say so.
What they often need most is a safe, non-judgmental partner to think things through with.

Parenting with empathy, curiosity, and collaboration can build trust—and over time, foster more motivation and accountability.

You’re still their parent. But now, you’re also their ally.

– With care,
Your Therapist

07/19/2025

A gentle note to my clients for Managing Anxiety

One of the most powerful tools in working with anxiety is learning to separate your thoughts from your awareness.

Your mind is constantly generating thoughts—some helpful, some not. But just because a thought shows up doesn’t mean it’s true or deserves your full attention.

Try this:
When an anxious thought arises, take a pause and remind yourself:

“This is just a thought. Not a fact. I can notice it without believing it.”

Imagine your thoughts like clouds drifting across the sky. You don’t have to chase them or wrestle with them. Just observe, breathe, and let them pass.

This practice—sometimes called cognitive defusion—can create a little space between you and your mind’s chatter. That space is where peace, choice, and self-compassion can grow.

You are not your thoughts.
You are the awareness noticing them. 💛

Take good care,
– Your Therapist

07/17/2025

DBT Skill TIP: IMPROVE the Moment
When life feels hard and emotions run high, you can’t always fix the situation—but you can shift how you experience it. The IMPROVE skill helps you tolerate distress and ride out the tough moments by creating a little peace, meaning, or lightness in the middle of the storm.

IMPROVE the Moment: A Breakdown
I — Imagery
Use your imagination like a rescue tool. Picture a peaceful place or visualize things working out. Imagine yourself coping well, safe, and grounded.

M — Meaning
Ask: “What can I learn from this?” Find value in your experience, even in pain. Connecting your struggle to a bigger purpose helps make the moment more bearable.

P — Prayer
Reach beyond yourself. Whether it’s a spiritual belief, nature, the universe, or simply your inner wisdom—pause and ask for strength, patience, or peace.

R — Relaxation
Calm the body, calm the mind. Try deep breathing, stretching, a warm shower, soft music, or grounding exercises to ease physical tension.

O — One thing in the moment
Focus on right now. Anchor yourself in the present moment. Tune into your senses—what do you see, hear, feel? Let go of multitasking or future worry.

V — Vacation
Take a break—even for 10 minutes. Read something light, draw, take a walk, or watch a funny video. Micro-breaks help reset your nervous system.

E — Encouragement
Talk to yourself like you would a friend. Remind yourself: “This will pass.” “I’ve made it through worse.” “I can do this.” Build yourself up from within.

When to Use IMPROVE
Use this skill when emotions feel overwhelming and you can’t change the situation—but you can change how you cope.
It’s especially helpful when:

You feel stuck, triggered, or helpless

You're waiting for something to pass

You're managing urges or frustration

You want to avoid reacting impulsively

Remember: Improving the moment doesn’t mean denying how hard it is. It means giving yourself the tools to move through it with grace, strength, and care. You deserve that.

07/17/2025

07/05/2025

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07/01/2025

Summer and Sensory Sensitivities: Helping Kids Enjoy the Season
For kids with autism or sensory processing issues, summer can be a uniquely challenging time. While many children may look forward to beach days, fireworks, or family vacations, kids with sensory sensitivities might find those same experiences overwhelming — bright sunlight, hot sand, loud crowds, sticky sunscreen, or even just a change in routine can trigger discomfort or distress.
But with a little forethought and support, summer can be enjoyable — just on a different rhythm.
Start with planning. Whether you're heading to a fireworks show, a crowded beach, or just spending time outside on a hot day, giving kids a preview of what to expect can help them feel more secure. Visual schedules, social stories, or simply talking through the plan ahead of time can reduce anxiety and give them a sense of control.
Pack sensory supports. Small adjustments can make a big difference — bring earplugs or noise-canceling headphones for loud events, sunglasses or hats for bright environments, and breathable, tag-free clothing to reduce irritation. Let your child have a say in what makes them feel comfortable.
Don’t avoid — adapt. It’s tempting to skip overstimulating events entirely, but helping kids learn how to manage sensory discomfort builds their confidence and independence. You can ease into experiences with shorter visits, quiet breaks, or by choosing lower-sensory alternatives (like watching fireworks from a distance or visiting the beach early in the morning when it’s less crowded).
Validate their experience. Let kids know it's okay to feel overwhelmed and that their needs are real. When they learn to recognize what’s too much — and that they have tools to handle it — they’re building self-awareness and resilience that will serve them for life.
Summer may not always look like it does in the movies — and that’s okay. The goal isn’t to force a “typical” experience, but to create moments that feel good, safe, and joyful for your child.
With some flexibility, preparation, and compassion, summer can be a time for growth, connection, and even a little fun.

06/13/2025

Helping Your Child Transition Off Screens Without Meltdowns
For kids with ADHD or Autism, getting off screens can feel way harder than it seems. It’s not just stubbornness—it’s actually brain chemistry at work.

When kids are deep into screen time—whether it’s a game, video, or show—their brains enter a state of “hyper-focus” or “flow” that feels almost hypnotic. Dopamine, the “feel-good” brain chemical, is released, making them feel calm, focused, and even relieved from stress or discomfort.

But here’s the challenge:
When screens are suddenly turned off, dopamine levels drop fast—causing frustration, sadness, or even panic. Without warning, this can lead to big meltdowns.

So what can you do to ease the transition?
Set Clear Limits Ahead of Time:
Let them know how long they’ll have before they even start. Predictability = Safety.

Gently Bring Them Back to Reality:
As their time is winding down, sit beside them quietly. Use a calm voice and soft touch (like a hand on their shoulder) to gently pull their attention back.

Say with curiosity:

“Ohh, what’s happening here? Tell me about this part!”
This breaks the screen “trance” and helps their brain shift from the digital world back to the real one—without shock or anger.

Give Warnings:
- “Five more minutes, buddy."
- "Two more minutes."
- “One more minute and it’s time to pause.”
-**Stay close, calm, and connected.

Stay Consistent and Calm:
Their brain is adjusting—not just their behavior. The calmer and more predictable you are, the easier the shift will be for them.

Transitions can feel smoother when we work with their brain, not against it. You’ve got this. 💛