Child & Adolescent Psychotherapy Services

Child & Adolescent Psychotherapy Services CHILD & ADOLESCENT PSYCHOTHERAPY SVS
36 Midvale Road 1A/B
Mountain Lakes, NJ 07046
website: https://suzanne-donohue.clientsecure.me/

Mental Health Services in Morris County offering supportive psychotherapy/counseling to children, adolescents & parents.

Teaching Perspective-Taking in Real Life~~ (Not a Lecture)One of the hardest moments as a parent is when your child says...
01/25/2026

Teaching Perspective-Taking in Real Life~~ (Not a Lecture)

One of the hardest moments as a parent is when your child says something hurtful, explodes emotionally…
…and then moves on like nothing happened 😅
Meanwhile, you are still sitting with the sting.

That moment is actually a golden opportunity to teach "Perspective Taking".

What’s happening developmentally

Many kids—especially those with ADHD, anxiety, or emotional reactivity—
~~speak before thinking
~~unload big feelings fast
~~regulate quickly after the explosion1.

Their nervous system resets faster than ours.
That doesn’t mean the words didn’t matter.

What perspective-taking sounds like (in the moment)

Instead of lecturing or punishing, try modeling it:

“I understand that you may not have meant those words.”
“But they hurt my feelings.”
“Your brain may already be calm, but my brain needs a few minutes to settle.”

This teaches three powerful lessons:

1. Intent vs. impact – Even unintentional words can hurt

2. Other people have feelings too – Not everyone recovers at the same pace

3. Emotional repair matters – Relationships need time and care to reset

You’re not shaming.
You’re not escalating.
You’re showing your child how emotions land on others.

Why this works

Perspective taking isn’t taught through explanations—it’s taught through experience and modeling.
When children see that their words affect someone else, empathy starts to grow.

And over time, that turns into:

Better emotional awareness

Improved social skills

Stronger relationships

✨ You’re not being “too sensitive.”
✨ You’re teaching a lifelong skill.

SHARING A RESOURCE-WARMING CENTERS
01/25/2026

SHARING A RESOURCE-WARMING CENTERS

For parents of kids with ADHD and ASD Social skills are often one of the hardest areas for our kids—and making (and keep...
01/25/2026

For parents of kids with ADHD and ASD

Social skills are often one of the hardest areas for our kids—and making (and keeping) friends can feel really tricky.

Many children with ADHD and ASD are:

-Very rule-bound or rigid in their thinking

-Strong justice seekers (“that’s not fair!”)

-More comfortable when play goes their way

-Easily dysregulated when plans change or peers don’t follow the rules

This isn’t willful behavior—it’s about cognitive rigidity, impulse control, and social-emotional regulation. And these skills take time, practice, and lots of support.

💡 What helps:

Practice reciprocal play at home: talk it through and model it

“Sometimes we play your way, and sometimes we play my way.”

Teach flexible thinking in calm moments, not during conflict

Use role-play to show what back-and-forth play actually looks like

Front-load skills before playdates: expectations, coping plans, exit strategies

Keep playdates short, structured, and supported at first

Remember—social skills are skills, not traits. They can be taught, practiced, and strengthened over time.

✨ Progress over perfection.
✨ Support over punishment.
✨ Skills before expectations.

You’ve got this. :-)

Giving Your Child a Cell Phone: Start With a ConversationThis post isn’t about if or when a child should get a phone~~~~...
01/25/2026

Giving Your Child a Cell Phone: Start With a Conversation

This post isn’t about if or when a child should get a phone~~~~.
If you’ve already decided to give your child one—then let’s talk.

The most important step comes before you hand it over—and continues long after.

Children are learning. They will make mistakes.
Our job as parents is not to eliminate risk, but to stay involved, guide, and protect.

Before handing over a phone, consider having a conversation that sounds something like this:

“Before I give you a phone, there are a few things I want you to know to help keep you safe and healthy.”

• I trust you. But I don’t trust everyone else. A phone gives access to the entire world—and not everyone has good intentions.

• You are important, loved, and valued. This phone connects you to many people, but your worth never comes from likes, messages, or attention online.

• This phone belongs to our family. It’s a privilege, not a right. There will be expectations and rules. If they aren’t followed, that tells us more skills are needed before full access continues.

• I will always know the passcode. You deserve respect and appropriate privacy—but nothing online is truly private. My involvement is about protecting you, not spying on you.

• Sleep comes first. Phones rest at night too. No phones in bedrooms—devices charge in a designated family space so brains can fully rest and reset.

Most importantly: this is not a one-time talk.
Keep the conversation ongoing. Stay curious. Stay connected.

Your child doesn’t need a perfect parent—
they need an available one.

— Suzanne
CAPS
📞 973-658-7767

Why siblings fight more when one child has ADHD~~ (And why it’s not a behavior problem)So many parents tell me, “My chil...
01/24/2026

Why siblings fight more when one child has ADHD~~
(And why it’s not a behavior problem)

So many parents tell me, “My child with ADHD is constantly fighting with siblings.”

This is not because of bad behavior, defiance, poor boundaries, or bad parenting.

For kids with ADHD, this is a regulation problem — not a behavior problem.

Research shows that ADHD impacts the brain systems responsible for impulse control, emotional regulation, frustration tolerance, and stress response. When those systems are overloaded, behavior is driven by the nervous system — not by choice.

An ADHD brain:
• Reacts faster than logic (race car brain with bicycle brakes-ugh!)
• Struggles with impulse control under stress
• Has a lower tolerance for noise, waiting, change, and perceived unfairness
• Becomes overwhelmed before language and reasoning are available

So when siblings are fighting over toys, space, rules, or attention, what’s really happening is this:

The nervous system is overloaded
There is no intentional aggression.

And this is why traditional punishments — time-outs, sending kids to their rooms, or repeated consequences — often don’t work and can actually make things worse. Research consistently shows that punishment does not improve emotional regulation in children with ADHD and may increase shame, reactivity, and sibling conflict. You can’t punish dysregulation out of a child.

So what does help?

It starts with understanding that ADHD is a neurodevelopmental difference, not a character flaw — and that it responds best to structure, skill-building, and connection.

Research-supported strategies include:
• Predictable routines to reduce cognitive load and stress
• External supports (visual schedules, timers, reminders, chunking) rather than relying on internal self-control
• Co-regulation during moments of dysregulation (a calm adult nervous system helps calm a child’s)
• Separating the child from the behavior (“My child is struggling” vs. “My child is difficult”)
• Proactive sibling supports (clear expectations, planned breaks, adult mediation before escalation)
• School advocacy that supports regulation while protecting a child’s self-esteem (this matters more than we realize)

Large-scale research shows that ADHD treatment is most effective when it is individualized and may include parent coaching, behavioral strategies, school accommodations, and — for some children — medication. The goal is never to change who a child is, but to reduce barriers so they can function, learn, and feel successful in their family and relationships.

If sibling conflict feels constant or exhausting, you are not doing anything wrong. You may just need support that is aligned with how ADHD brains actually work.

📞 Need support?
Call Suzanne at CAPS to learn more about parent coaching, family support, and ADHD-informed strategies. 973-658-7767 or email at childadolescenttherapy@gmail.com

What does it really mean to be a “super parent” when raising a child with ADHD?It’s not about perfection, strict discipl...
01/24/2026

What does it really mean to be a “super parent” when raising a child with ADHD?

It’s not about perfection, strict discipline, or fixing behaviors.

A "Super Parent" understands that ADHD is a neurodevelopmental difference, not a character flaw—and responds with skills, structure, and compassion.

Super parenting looks like:
• Providing predictable routines to support an ADHD brain
• Using external supports (visuals, reminders, chunking) instead of expecting internal self-control
• Responding to dysregulation with co-regulation, not punishment
• Separating the child from the behavior (“My child is struggling” vs. “My child is difficult”)
• Advocating at school while protecting your child’s self-esteem (this is big!!)

Research shows that ADHD treatment works best when it’s individualized and may include behavioral strategies, school supports, parent coaching, and—for some children—medication. The goal isn’t to change who a child is, but to reduce barriers so they can function, learn, and feel successful.

Connection + consistency + realistic expectations lead to better emotional regulation, behavior, and long-term outcomes for kids with ADHD.

You don’t need to be perfect.
You need to be informed, flexible, and kind—to your child and yourself.

Snow Day ❄️❄️❄️ + ADHD = Big Feelings & Big Energy A note for parentsSnow days can be fun… and also a lot — especiall...
01/24/2026

Snow Day ❄️❄️❄️ + ADHD = Big Feelings & Big Energy
A note for parents

Snow days can be fun… and also a lot — especially for kids with ADHD who suddenly lose structure, routine, and their usual outlets for energy.

A few gentle reminders for your snow day:
• More movement = better regulation (dance breaks, hallway races, yoga, jumping jacks)
• Short chunks work better than long expectations
• Screens may increase dysregulation later, even if they help in the moment
• Flexibility is not failure

If your snow day feels chaotic, you’re not doing anything wrong. Snow days are hard for ADHD brains. Focus on safety, connection, and getting through the day — not perfection.

Snow Day ❄️ ADHD Survival Kit
(For kids and parents stuck inside)

• Move your body often — jumping jacks, dance breaks, hallway races, wall push-ups, get creative :-)
• Think in short chunks — 15–30 minutes, then reset
• Keep hands busy — LEGO, drawing, Play-Doh, fidgets-build a tent (puppet show) :-)
• Create calm zones — quiet corners, headphones, audiobooks
• Use screens intentionally — helpful in doses, harder when it’s all day
• Snack + hydrate — hunger and thirst increase dysregulation
• Offer choices — choices increase cooperation and regulation
• Lower expectations — snow days are not school days

Reminder:
If your snow day feels messy or hard, that makes sense. Snow days disrupt routine, and ADHD brains feel that deeply. Focus on safety, connection, and getting through the day — that is success.

Helping Anxious Kids Sleep: Why Bedtime Isn’t the Time for WorriesMany parents want to do the “right” thing at bedtime —...
01/14/2026

Helping Anxious Kids Sleep: Why Bedtime Isn’t the Time for Worries

Many parents want to do the “right” thing at bedtime — checking in, talking through the day, and helping their child feel better. That instinct comes from a place of care and connection.
For “anxious” children, however, bedtime can be a vulnerable window. As the house gets quiet and distractions fade, anxious brains often become more active. Talking through worries, recapping difficult moments from the day, or doing “worry time” right before bed can unintentionally increase rumination and make it harder for children to fall asleep.

What tends to work better:

• Daytime is for processing. Big feelings, worries, and problem-solving are best handled earlier in the day, when children have more emotional and cognitive resources.
• Bedtime is for calming, not thinking. At night, anxious kids don’t need help analyzing — they need help powering down. Predictable, low-stimulation routines help teach the brain that bedtime is safe.
• Validate without elaborating. You can acknowledge feelings without revisiting details or trying to solve problems at night. For example: “I know today was hard — and I also know you can do hard things.”
• Contain worries. If worries pop up at bedtime, gently remind your child: “We’ve already talked about this. Your job right now is to rest. We can come back to worries tomorrow.”
This approach doesn’t ignore anxiety. It helps children learn an important skill: worries don’t get to run the night.

Sleep is one of the most powerful tools we have for emotional regulation, resilience, and overall mental health. Protecting bedtime supports calmer nights — and stronger coping during the day.
— CAPS | Child & Adolescent Psychotherapy Services

Finals week + ADHD? Don’t forget about BODY DOUBLING. Yes—I’ve posted this before. And yes—it’s that good, especially ri...
01/11/2026

Finals week + ADHD? Don’t forget about BODY DOUBLING.
Yes—I’ve posted this before. And yes—it’s that good, especially right now.
Body doubling is a simple but powerful ADHD strategy:
You work while someone else is present (in person or virtually).
They’re not teaching you, fixing your work, or even talking much—they’re just there.
Why it works for ADHD brains:
Increases focus and follow-through

Reduces procrastination and task avoidance

Provides gentle accountability (without pressure or shame)

Helps regulate attention and energy

Makes starting—and sticking with—work feel less overwhelming

What body doubling can look like:
Studying at the table while a parent works nearby

Sitting with a friend in the library

A quiet Zoom/FaceTime study session

Using virtual body-doubling rooms or “study with me” videos

Important reminder:
Body doubling is support, not cheating. It’s a legitimate accommodation strategy that helps students access their skills—especially during high-stress times like finals.
If you (or your student) are feeling stuck, overwhelmed, or frozen…
Don’t go it alone. Borrow a brain.
Sometimes presence is the missing piece.
You’ve got this. One task, one study block, one body double at a time.

Focus on What You Can ControlYou can’t control everything that happens in your life—but you can control many of the thin...
01/10/2026

Focus on What You Can Control

You can’t control everything that happens in your life—but you can control many of the things that shape how you experience it.

You can control your reactions and emotional responses.
Pausing, breathing, and responding thoughtfully gives you clarity instead of panic.

You can control your choices and decisions.
Even small choices—made consistently—shape your direction over time.

You can control your boundaries.
What you allow, what you say no to, and what you protect matter.

You can control your habits and daily routines.
Structure creates stability. Small routines build momentum.

You can control your time and how you spend it.
Your time is valuable. Where you invest it is where your energy grows.

You can control who you keep close.
Relationships influence mindset, confidence, and emotional health.

You can control your self-care.
Rest, movement, nourishment, and downtime aren’t extras—they’re necessities.

You can control what you consume.
The media, messages, and conversations you take in affect your nervous system.

You can control your willingness to learn, grow, and forgive.
Growth requires openness. Healing requires grace.

And you can control your honesty and integrity—
how you show up when no one is watching.

Focusing on what you can control doesn’t mean life is easy.
It means your energy goes where it actually makes a difference.

One choice at a time.
That’s how resilience is built. 💙

Great Resource~~Sharing from Montville Moms Join us for more fun at our social club for neurodivergent children ages 5-1...
01/10/2026

Great Resource~~
Sharing from Montville Moms
Join us for more fun at our social club for neurodivergent children ages 5-14 @ the Elks lodge in boonton. Rsvp asap to register your children. Please note that a parent/caregiver must stay with their child/children, this is not a drop and go club. Thank you for your understanding.
January 22nd

New Jersey to Go Cell Phone-Free 📵 at School (Starting Fall 2026~Governor Phil Murphy has signed a new law that will sig...
01/10/2026

New Jersey to Go Cell Phone-Free 📵 at School (Starting Fall 2026~

Governor Phil Murphy has signed a new law that will significantly restrict K–12 student use of cell phones and other internet-enabled devices during the school day in all New Jersey public schools.

When does this start?
The 2026–2027 school year (Fall 2026)

What does the law cover?
- Applies to grades K–12 statewide
-Limits non-academic use of smartphones, tablets, smartwatches, and similar devices
- Applies during school hours on school grounds

What schools are required to do:
• Local school boards must adopt policies aligned with state guidelines
• Policies will be “bell-to-bell” (phones not used during the school day, with limited exceptions)
• The NJ Department of Education will provide guidance on implementation

Are there exceptions?
Yes. Limited exceptions may include:
• Emergencies
• Approved academic use (e.g., translation tools, classroom activities)
• Individual needs based on school policy

Why was this law passed?
Supporters point to strong evidence that phone-free school days can:
• Reduce classroom distractions
• Improve focus and learning
• Lower anxiety linked to social media and constant notifications
• Encourage in-person social connection and engagement

Big picture:
New Jersey joins 37 states and Washington, D.C. that have adopted policies limiting student phone use during the school day.

Address

36 Midvale Road 1A/1B
Mountain Lakes, NJ
07046

Opening Hours

Monday 11am - 8pm
Tuesday 10am - 8pm
Wednesday 10am - 8pm
Thursday 10am - 8pm
Friday 10am - 5pm

Telephone

+19736587767

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