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Life Counseling Center, 239 Veterans Pkwy, Ste A, Murfreesboro, TN (2025)

04/30/2022

Have you ever heard of a famous therapist from the 1940s named Viktor Frankl? He was a Jewish neurologist who survived the Holocaust. From his experiences in the labor camps, he discovered that meaning and hope are essential to human motivation. Without hope, one can feel very lost and aimless.
There are many studies on the benefits of hope on our mental health. Hope helps us to reach our goals, it improves our self-efficacy and self-esteem, it improves interpersonal relationships, and it improves our overall physical and physiological well-being. However, people often throw around this idea of hopefulness, but what does it actually mean? And if you lack hope for your future, is it possible to acquire it?
Hope can mean different things for many people. It can include the idea of meaning or purpose, a positive outlook, or the pursuit of a brighter future. To provide a working definition of hope, we turn to Snyder et al. (1991), who stated that hope is “a positive cognitive state based on a sense of successful goal-directed determination and planning to meet these goals”. It is the ability to walk different paths to achieve what you want out of life. Snyder was a psychologist who specialized in positive psychology, which is the study of societal and individual well-being. Snyder developed a Hope Theory, which included goals, paths, and freedom of choice. There are three types of thinking that Snyder postulated as being necessary for the formation and sustentation of hope:
1. Goals Thinking: the clear conceptualization of having attainable goals
2. Pathways Thinking: Conceptualizing various ways of attaining said goals
3. Agency Thinking: The ability to start the process down one or more of those paths to attain your goals
If you feel a lack of hope in your life, perhaps take a look at these three types of thinking. Do you have goals for your life? Do you have a way of reaching them? Do you have the ability – the self-efficacy – to begin making progress down those paths? Perhaps one of these areas can be enhanced in your life to increase your hope.
So what if you are lacking in one of these types of thinking? Here are three interventions for you to try to increase your hope:
1. Journal – Yes, journal. Journaling is such a wonderful tool that not only brings about awareness or helps us process through our thoughts and feelings, but it can be used to challenge our thoughts and beliefs and practice looking at things in a new light. Keep a hope journal and write out your hopes, aspirations, and goals. Write out those pathways to get there, and then journal about the obstacles – whether they be situational or personal – in your way. This will be help you create your Goal Thinking.
2. List your successes, strengths, and resources – for those who lack hopefulness, it can be very easy to view life through a negative lens. Doing this can oftentimes overshadow accomplishments and strengths. Take a moment to list them out, along with resources you have at your disposal. This will be beneficial for creating Pathway and Agency Thinking.
3. Try something! – Start down a pathway! If you’ve completed the two prior interventions, then you are more aware of your strengths, your goals, and your routes to accomplishing them. Try one! It may or may not fail, but you won’t know until you take that step. Doing so will increase your self-efficacy, which in turn will improve your motivation, and yes, your hope.
Hope is very personal and can look different for everyone. Take the time to find what works for you. Give yourself patience and grace when working on instilling hope in your life. These interventions may need to be tweaked some to fit your needs. That’s okay! As cliché as it may sound, it rings true: there is such value in the process to discovering

04/17/2022

Have you ever heard the term, “patience is a virtue?”. Many times, these well-known idioms lose their power and become clichés. As such, it’s easy to view patience, and other such traits, as stifling or oppressive. You almost never experience a positive feeling when someone chimes in, telling you that you need to be more patient. But perhaps it’s not the characteristic that’s flawed, but the way in which we view it?

Research has shown that there is a direct correlation between patience and mental well-being. In fact, one such study found that higher levels of long-term patience were associated with lessened anxiety and depression and improved general health and life satisfaction.

So, what exactly is patience? To quote Judith Orloff from Psychology Today, “Patience doesn’t mean passivity or resignation, but power. It’s an emotionally freeing practice of waiting, watching, and knowing when to act”. Patience is an active practice – a trait to be exercised and utilized over time. There are four types of patience that deserve attention: interpersonal (within relationships), intrapersonal (within yourself), daily hassles, and life hardships.

Take a moment to think about how you respond in these areas of life when things don’t go the way you want them to. Think about how you think and feel when there is heavy traffic on the road and you’re late to work; when there is conflict between you and your significant other; when you are struggling to make ends meet; when you aren’t seeing results from going to the gym. Perhaps you experience frustration, anxiety, or sadness. Is it wrong to experience those emotions? Absolutely not. However, an excess of such emotions can lend themselves to a decrease in motivation, happiness, or health.

So how can you practice patience? There are plenty of ways to do so, however, this short list can get you started on integrating this vital asset into your life.

1. Notice when you feel impatient. Awareness is key. This allows you to prepare for certain events that often make you feel frustrated. That way, you can either come up with an appropriate response to the situation or even utilize coping skills to help calm you down.

2. Find out what coping skills work for you. As stated in the previous point, there might be times when you need to calm yourself down and become more grounded in the moment. This can be done through breathing exercises, mindfulness exercises (techniques that help you become more present), and muscle relaxation.

3. Recognize what is within your control. There may be things that you can change to prevent the feeling of impatience. If there was a lot of traffic that made you late to work one day, perhaps leave the house 10 minutes earlier the next day. Certain things can be fixed, and putting action into place can increase your own self-efficacy and patience towards others and yourself.

4. Give yourselves opportunities to wait. Since patience is something that can be practiced, practice it. Delaying gratification has shown to improve success and satisfaction in both one’s personal and professional lives. Start by doing simple things, such as choosing the longer line at the grocery store or sitting patiently in a quiet room for a short amount of time. This will help you become more used to the concept of waiting, which can be utilized in other areas of your life.

Patience has several benefits, from improving one’s mental and physical health to lessening anxiety and depression. While patience has sometimes been touted as an abstract trait that few truly achieve, it is actually a practical and helpful tool that can be practiced and learned.

03/29/2022

Have you ever noticed how you think throughout the day? What are the automatic thoughts that pop into your mind? What type of lens do you see through when looking at people or situations? This sounds very abstract, thinking about the way you think. This practice, called metacognition, is the first step in bringing awareness to, and even changing, our thought processes.

Let’s go through an exercise to help kickstart this process: Think about the last bad day you had. Don’t think of a particularly traumatic day or event, just a normal day you had that was not a particularly good one. Perhaps a day that traffic was horrible, and you were late to work. A day when the kids would just not settle down for their naps. A day your friend got upset with you about something. A day you burned your dinner and had to start over.

Now, as you think through the events of this day, get back inside your mindset as you experienced them. What were your thoughts? What were your immediate reactions? How did one of these events change how you viewed the whole rest of the day?

Perhaps you found that you handled these situations fairly well and were able to move on from them. Perhaps you didn’t. Perhaps you, like many others, find it easy to focus on the negatives and allow an unpleasant incident to impact the rest of your day.

While it is okay to experience frustration, annoyance, hurt, or even anger, there is a balance that must be met. It is one thing to be frustrated in the moment, it is another to be consumed by such thoughts. It is one thing to be angry at someone for cutting you off in traffic, it is another for all of your automatic thoughts that pop into your head be ones of anger, or to assume that everyone else on the road is going to cut you off.

If you are someone who struggles a little with this balance and wants to begin to work on changing your cognitions – the way you think – then I have one tool for you to try: adopt an attitude of gratefulness.

Adopting an attitude of gratefulness does not mean you have to invalidate your feelings or experiences; it does not mean you have to stuff your feelings under the rug. However, if you find that most of your thoughts are ones of frustration, helplessness, hopelessness, or discontentedness, this exercise could prove beneficial.

Research has shown that focusing on gratitude can help reduce stress and improve physical and mental health. There are many studies that have shown that people who focus on gratitude tend to be happier and less depressed than people who do not. Gratitude has also shown to be linked with experiencing more positive emotions, relishing good experiences, dealing with adversity, and forming relationships.

Again, practicing gratitude does not mean invalidating your other emotions. But rather than thinking of eliminating other emotions, try thinking about it as adding gratitude into the mix. One way to practice gratitude can be to allow yourself to experience your other emotions for a certain amount of time, then give gratitude a turn by listing off a few things your grateful for or reframing the situation using gratitude as a lens. Perhaps even keeping a journal and writing a few sentences in it every day about what it is you are grateful for. These exercises may sound small, but they truly can have a big impact on your mental, physical, and overall wellbeing.

03/07/2022

When thinking about improving one’s mental health, oftentimes people focus on their thoughts and feelings – their emotional health. This is an important area that deserves much attention, but it is only one aspect of one’s overall mental health. A large aspect of mental health that can be easy to overlook is one’s physical health. Physical health is greatly correlated with one’s mental health – they each impact the other. Low mood can be considerably uplifted by tweaking a few habits related to physical health, these areas being exercise, diet, and sleep.

1. Exercise is not only helpful for weight loss and muscle gain, but for improving low mood. Exercising helps produce higher levels of serotonin, a neurotransmitter that helps regulate mood, anxiety, and the sleep and wake cycles. It is also correlated with greater self-discipline and self-efficacy. Exercising can be simply taking your dog on a walk or doing a fifteen minute at-home workout. Whatever it is, the important thing is to just show up and make an effort. Your body and your mind will be happy you did.

2. Diet has a huge impact on mental health. Think of your body like a car. A car needs gasoline in order to function properly. Now what would happen if you filled your car’s gas tank up with diesel? It may run for a minute, but it could cause catastrophic damage to your car. While this is not a perfect metaphor, our bodies are meant to run on specific fuel as well. We need vitamins, protein, minerals, and proper amounts of carbs and healthy fats. Too much sugar in your diet can actually exacerbate anxiety and depression symptoms. But rather than jump on the bandwagon of a new fad diet, make small changes over time to your diet. This will be more sustainable while also allowing you to experience success and maintain motivation.

3. Lastly, sleep is necessary for everyday functioning – not just the amount of sleep you get, but the quality. If you find yourself struggling to maintain quality sleep, try changing a few things about your routine. Go to bed around the same time each night, make sure your room is completely dark, and don’t look at your phone or laptop screens too close to bedtime. Over time, these tweaks will help improve your quality of sleep and improve your mental health and daily functioning.

While these tweaks to your lifestyle might not completely eliminate all your mental health struggles, they will greatly improve your overall health and well-being, increase your mood, and possibly help provide a more positive outlook on life. If you decide to focus more on your physical health, give yourself patience and grace. One day might not completely turn things around, but committing to these changes and allowing your body and mind time to reorient can provide wonderful results.

02/17/2022

Do you feel like you have control over your own life? Do you struggle with trusting yourself to accomplish your goals? These ideas refer to a concept known as self-efficacy.

Self-efficacy refers to your ability to trust your abilities and competencies. Self-efficacy is related to internal motivation, resiliency, and self-concept. Albert Bandura, a renown cognitive psychologist who coined the term, stated that self-efficacy is a product of our past experiences, observations, and emotions, and it is thought to be a great predictor of personal success.

So how do we enhance our self-efficacy? Here are a few tips that may help.

1. Set simple goals – Make your goals SMART – that is, make them specific, measurable, attainable, relevant, and time-bound. This allows you to make smaller changes over time that will be more long-term and sustainable. If one of your goals in the new year is to eat healthier and you’re used to eating out five times a week, making your goal to eat clean 100% of the time might not be the most attainable and sustainable. Ensuring your goals are reachable will provide more success, which will enhance motivation and increase positive self-concept.

2. Celebrate your successes – Yes, celebrate! Don’t ignore when you have achieved a goal, no matter how small! You probably won’t feel very motivated if you are always only looking at what you haven’t done. Celebrating those successes will enhance your self-efficacy and make you feel more in control of your goals and progress.

3. Reframe obstacles – Try looking at the problem from another perspective. Understand your own baseline (from where you are starting) and allow for some patience and grace. If you make a mistake, it doesn’t have to mean that you failed at your goals and that you are unable to experience success. Rather, learn from the obstacle and find a way to work with it, not against it.

4. Keep the bigger picture in mind – Your small goals say something about what direction you are heading. Let’s go back to the previous example of making your goal eating healthier. Perhaps your first goal is to eat out three times a week instead of five. This goal in and of itself might not seem like much. But the bigger picture is to get to a place where you eat clean more times than not. Keeping this in mind will help to improve your self-efficacy because it allows for something to shoot for – a completely different lifestyle. Keep a wide focus and remind yourself often of what it is you are aiming for.

These methods of enhancing self-efficacy are simple and attainable. Keeping these helpful tools in mind as you go through life can help increase your own self-trust, internal motivation, and positive self-concept.

05/13/2021

Conflict Management Series Part 3: Friends and Social Circles

Over the past few weeks, we have discussed the impact of conflict in the many different areas of our lives. At home conflict can be difficult due to the intimacy of those relationships. At work it can be a struggle to maintain professionalism when there is a strong emotional factor that often comes along with conflict. This week we will discuss conflict in relationships that are outside of our homes and workplaces.

As with any conflict, disagreements with friends can cause great emotional distress. Some people in our social circles are closer to us than others. Due to this some conflict can be experienced in different ways between friends. Some friends can be like family and we know that we will make it through the conflict and are more comfortable having difficult discussions with. While, friends we are not as close with can be more difficult to navigate due to discomfort of bringing up the conflict. The following are some tips to remember when working through conflict with a friend.
1. Schedule a time and place to have the difficult conversation. One of the difficulties of these kinds of relationships is that there is not always a regular time that you see each other. Opposing to home and work where you encounter those people regularly, most friendship require intentional effort to see each other. It is important to reach out and let your friend know you want to talk.
2. Have the conversation. Many people struggle with following through on conflict and with friends we tend to brush off conflict with at “it’s okay” when maybe it really isn’t. This lack of honestly can create long terms feelings of frustration and can create passive aggression. It is vital to be open and honest so that the hurt does not fester and grow.
3. Use “I” statements. This method works in every kind of conflict. This is where you focus on your own feelings and perception of the conflict instead of placing blame on the other person. Saying things like, “you hurt my feelings” is usually going to be taken worse than saying something like, “I felt hurt.” This works because, instead of making the conflict worse by placing blame and causing the other person to become defensive you help them see your experience without blaming.
4. Be open to the other person’s point of view. When interacting with other people it is important to remember that they have a different perspective. Although we are experiencing hurt it is vital to understand that we may not be the only one. A good way of helping with this is also checking your truths about what you know about your friends. Think about if your friend truly had bad intentions in the situation and if they wanted to hurt you. If not, then it becomes easier to see how the conflict is more of a misunderstanding. Being open and treating the other person with the respect you want them to treat you with is vital to overcoming conflict.

Conflict is an extremely difficult thing. It can be tough to navigate and usually creates painful emotions. However, it is a normal part of life and it is important to be able to manage these situations well. Combining all these tips that we have discussed over the past couple of weeks is a great start. If you feel that you would like more information on these tools or want to work through conflict with the help of a therapist, please reach out to us here at Life Counseling Center.

Life Counseling Center is committed to helping our potential clients live happy and successful lives. With the health care concerns over COVID-19, you may not feel comfortable coming into an office for therapy, but still recognize a need. We have the option to provide you with secure HIPAA compliant counseling through an internet video platform, at not additional cost. Please call us at (615)767-2848 to have any questions answered or to schedule an appointment.

04/29/2021

Conflict Management Series Part 2: At Work

Two weeks ago we discussed some tips on how to manage conflict when it comes up in the home. We discussed how the difficulty in conflict at home often lies with the fact that those are the people with whom we are closest to. Conflict in the work place can bring up different challenges because of the opposite reason. Conflict in the workplace can be difficult to navigate because of the pressure to maintain composure and professionalism.

It is only natural that there will be differences of thoughts and opinions with coworkers. Some professions may encounter this more than others but more likely than not we all will encounter some conflict in our professional lives. The following are some tips that can help defuse a situation and help to maintain professionalism while still working through a disagreement.
1. Do not get caught up on being right. When working with others and there is a difference of opinion it is not beneficial to be focused on “winning” the argument. This mentality usually will cause more adversity and will delay a resolution. It is vital to remember that many situations do not just have one “right” answer and keeping an open mind is very helpful. Focus more on finding a solution that works best for the majority and benefits the situation.
2. Be aware of how conflict is being discussed. If possible always try to have conflict management conversations face to face. It is common for email or other non-verbal messages to lead to miscommunication and reading further into things that may not even be present. It is much easier to misunderstand someone when you are not having a face to face or at least a phone conversation.
3. Take a break if emotions are growing. It can be helpful at time to take a minuet to calm down. Utilizing techniques such as counting to ten, focused breathing techniques, or taking a walk can all be helpful to defuse tense situations and help you maintain professionalism by keeping emotions in check.

These can be some helpful ways to manage conflict as it arises in the workplace however these tips would work for conflict in all areas of life. Conflict at work can be quite stressful and there can be intense emotions that come up but it is vital to maintain respect and professionalism. If you are struggling with managing conflict at work or in any other area and would like more help please reach out to us at Life Counseling Center. In two weeks we will discuss conflict resolution in relationships outside of the home.

Life Counseling Center is committed to helping our potential clients live happy and successful lives. With the recent health care concerns over COVID-19, you may not feel comfortable coming into an office for therapy, but still recognize a need. We have the option to provide you with secure HIPAA compliant counseling through an internet video platform, at no additional cost. Please call us at (615) 767-2848 to have any questions answered or to schedule an appointment

04/22/2021

Part 2 of Self Care – Types of Self Care Practices

As discussed in Part 1 of Self-Care, it is a practice of taking an active role in protecting one’s well-being and happiness during stress. Below is a list of some forms of self-care and the benefits of them.

• Healthy eating habits – Healthy choices of food are a way to practice self-care. Making sure you get the proper amounts of vegetables, fruits, and protein needed for your body can help fuel your body. The carbohydrates, proteins, and fats in food provide calories to fuel exercise and energize your body.
• The appropriate amount of sleep - Studies show a healthy amount of sleep for an adult is anywhere between 7-9 hours. In these hours, your body repairs itself. Sleep allows the mind and the body to recharge. Healthy sleep can also be beneficial in fighting off sickness. Sleep can also help in improving your memory. When you have a healthy amount of sleep, your exercise performance can also be affected positively.
• Meditating - Setting time aside to think deeply or focus your mind is a method of relaxation. As you meditate, you can check in with how you are feeling internally, being self-aware. The mental benefit of meditation is better focus and concentration, and it also lowers stress and anxiety.
• Hobbies – Think about what gives you energy and makes you feel good. For example, watching your favorite movie, reading your favorite book, or even taking a bubble bath, are just a few things that can be self-care. Taking a walk in the fresh air and taking in the sounds of nature is also a great way to take some time for yourself, refocus and relax.

Keep in mind an essential part of self-care is doing something you enjoy. Pick something you like to do, make a plan, adjust if needed, and be kind to yourself. “It's not selfish to love yourself, take care of yourself, and make your happiness a priority. It's necessary.” - Mandy Hale

04/15/2021

Conflict Management Series Part 1: At Home

Conflict is a normal part of the human experience. Everyone at some point will have conflict with those around them. Conflict can be stressful, hurtful, and if not handled properly detrimental. Conflict management can be a difficult skill to learn because strong emotions are usually a large part of any conflict. Our emotions can often become the driving force in disagreements, and these emotions can make it difficult for us to think clearly and calmly. Over the next several months we will be discussing the various places we encounter conflict and some ways to help us handle it in a healthy and productive manner.

Conflict in the home can be extremely difficult to handle due to the often intense nature of these interactions. This is because the feelings we have with those we live with are usually stronger than any other relationships in our lives. It is also because we cannot escape them. Our homes are supposed to be the place of peace and rest and if that environment is filled with conflict, it can be upsetting and difficult to navigate.

When conflict comes up in the home one of the first tools to use could be mindfulness techniques to clear our thinking. This can be meditation, breathing exercises, etc. Once we are more calm, we can think much more clearly and respond to the conflict in a less emotionally charged way. Once we are thinking less emotionally, one method we can try is the perspective triangle. This strategy encourages us to first look at the conflict from our own perspective to understand why we are upset and what the conflict is truly about. Once we do that the next step is to look at the conflict from the other person’s perspective. This can look like asking them their thoughts and what they are feeling around the conflict. The last step of the triangle is to look at the conflict from a third-party person’s perspective. This can help find an objective view on the situation and help us peacefully work towards a solution. This strategy allows for us to emotionally detach from the disagreement and work to fully understand the conflict and thus begin to solve it.

Conflict can be difficult and often is difficult to figure out when we are amid it. However, there are several strategies that can help us navigate conflict when it does occur in all areas of our lives. In two weeks, we will look at strategies for managing conflict at work. If you are struggle with working through conflict and would like more assistance with this feel free to reach out to us at Life Counseling Center.
Life Counseling Center is committed to helping our potential clients live happy and successful lives. With the recent health care concerns over COVID-19, you may not feel comfortable coming into an office for therapy, but still recognize a need. We have the option to provide you with secure HIPAA compliant counseling through an internet video platform, at no additional cost. Please call us at (615) 767-2848 to have any questions answered or to schedule an appointment

04/09/2021

Self-Care – Part 1

Each day provides an opportunity to take care of yourself. In the busy pace of life, sometimes taking care of yourself can get lost in the shuffle. Although your schedule can be full of other activities, what about scheduling some time for yourself?

Self-Care is defined as a practice of taking an active role in protecting one’s well-being and happiness during stress. When you take the time to focus on your self-care, the results can be beneficial. You feel better about yourself in the long run, and it also allows you to help others in need.

First, you need a plan for Self-Care. When coming up with a plan, there are four things to keep in mind.
1. Find something you enjoy doing. Self-care is meant for a set time where you do something for yourself. The goal is the result of feeling recharged and less stressed. As you prioritize your “me time,” finding something enjoyable is key.
2. Create an attainable practice. Set yourself up for success, not failure. You don’t want to stress yourself out by picking a practice that does not fit your lifestyle.
3. Schedule a time for the practice. Once you figure out how long you need to spend on self-care, block out the time in your schedule for self-care. Think of it as dating yourself, a time to connect with yourself and check in on how you are feeling. Once this is scheduled, self-care has a greater chance of taking place.
4. Be kind to yourself. Although you picked out something you enjoy and is attainable and scheduled, life has its way of interrupting our best-made plans. Give yourself a break if a self-care time is missed or it does not go as planned. There is always another opportunity each day.

For Part 2 of Self Care, posting on 4/22/21, we will discuss the different types of self-care practices. Until then, keep in mind, “Self-care is not a waste of time; self-care makes your use of time more sustainable.” Jackie Viramontez

Life Counseling Center

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