08/14/2025
Geneen is not a dietitian. She does have some good insight into psychology of weight issues.
For many years, I was convinced that by changing my body, I would change my life. Because I was certain that my suffering was due to my size, I believed that when the weight disappeared, it would take old wounds, hurts, and rejections with it. I thought that changing the shape on the outside would alter the feelings on the inside. Silly me.
We mistakenly believe that altering our bodies will fix everything. That's because we think that body size is the cause and, therefore, the healer of all wounds. Perhaps our worst mistake is believing that being thin equals being loved, being special, being cherished. We couldn't be more wrong.
A woman once came to my retreat after she'd lost 100 pounds on a fast and then gained back 50. "They lied to me," she said. "They said my life would be great when I got thin. That I would be happy. That I would love myself and be loved. But that's not what happened. Sure, I liked being thin. But I still felt like a fat person -- unworthy, unlovable, damaged. I was so disappointed and felt so betrayed by everyone that I started to eat again."
This lack of finality -- the fact that your relationship with food and body size is an ongoing process, not an end point -- is the most elusive insight to sustain. Even people who've lost weight 5, 10, or 20 times and always gained it back continue to believe that next time, it will be different. Next time, being thin will finally fulfill its alluring promise of everlasting happiness, joy, self-worth and love.
But if it's happiness you want, why not put your energy and attention there rather than on the size of your body? Why not look inside? Somewhere in there are the clues to what would make you happy right now.
Being thin will never do what you think it's going to do. But you can have whatever you believe that being thin will give you, and you can have it now. The only way to do it? By starting to live as though you love yourself. By making a commitment to be kind to yourself. By being vigilant about acting on your own behalf. By beginning today.
