Child Welfare Consultation Services and Healing Connections Family Services

11/02/2024

Researchers from the Florida State University are currently seeking caregivers of children who have been in residential care to participate in interviews.

If you are interested in participating, please visit: https://fsu.qualtrics.com/jfe/form/SV_73qoZWsTcc2W20e

03/18/2024

02/16/2023

02/16/2023

we have all been there.. your child is having a full blown tantrum or meltdown at the most inconvenient time in the most inconvenient place. you throw a hail mary with a "let's just make it to the car and you can have (insert reward here)". they respond by screaming louder.. 😅🤪why doesn't that work most of the time?⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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when a child's brain is in survival mode and using the emotional part of their brain (think of it as their logical brain is "offline" during a tantrum or meltdown), they are unable to reason in that moment. they cannot process or understand rewards, consequences, or reason. instead of attempting to use bribes during a tantrum or meltdown, recognize that your child is in survival mode and needs connection and understanding. this might look different for each kiddo and you know yours best! some general tips are: use a quiet, calm, and steady voice when speaking. get down on their level and (if your kiddo is responsive to it) get in close proximity. model slow deep breaths. connect to the sensory part of the brain with a tactile fidget, soft animal to cuddle, etc. once your child's logical brain is back "online" and they are emotionally regulated, then reasoning can be used to talk about what happened and what choices can be made next time!

08/29/2022

“If, in the first two months of life, a child experienced high adversity with minimal relational buffering but was then put into a healthier environment for the next twelve years, their outcomes were worse than the outcomes of children who had low adversity and healthy relational connection in the first two months but then spent the next twelve years with high adversity.

“Think of that: The child who has only two months of really bad experiences does worse than the child with almost twelve years of bad experiences, all because of the timing of the experiences.

“This sounds discouraging. But we believe that poor outcomes are not inevitable; in fact, we believe that this is a perfect example of why we need developmentally informed, trauma-aware systems.” Dr Bruce Perry

07/10/2022

This is such a great visual of co-regulation. Of course sometimes your child won't want to be held and don't force it. But if we can stay calm, meet the feeling not the behaviour then co-regulation can happen. When we hold our child there is a physical change. Their nervous system will mirror ours. We just have to wait for the fire to go out.

06/21/2022

❤❤❤❤❤

06/12/2022

Graphic credit:

06/04/2022

One of our favourite quotes of all times. Children do their best with the limited tools that they possess; they do not have the luxury of having a brain that is fully developed. . . this takes time.The ways in that they ask for connection and our presence often don't sit well with us. They get labelled as "attention seeking" and "defiant" when in reality they are crying for us to see them-- to hear them-- to connect with them.

04/19/2022

Keeping siblings together should be the priority! (When safe of course)

04/18/2022

Beautifully said.