Delta Behavioral Health

05/21/2025

To all the parents our there- I see you.

04/12/2024

This has been on my mind a lot lately as I have had this conversation with so many folks-

Here is my take on why it can be harmful to believe or state that everyone is a little bit _________.

Why it can be harmful to insinuate that everyone is a little bit ADHD/Autistic/etc.

04/02/2024

Happy Autism Acceptance Day!!! Read my thoughts and understand why the shift in language is so important!

Each year, when April rolls around, everyone is ready to support Autism- but should it be Autism Awareness, or Autism Acceptance?

04/01/2024

What's that you say? April 1st? Delta Behavioral Health opened ONE year ago today! No fooling!

I have learned so much in the past year, but more importantly, I am grateful to have been able to help so many families.

I have connected with PDA North America - Pathological Demand Avoidance to provide valuable information and webinars on supporting PDA kiddos in school, including one today! (I'll post a link in the comments once it's available!)

I look forward to the future and finding ways to help more families, and kiddos alike, feel heard, understood, and most of all, accepted.

03/17/2024

Spoon Theory (created by Christine Miserandino) is a great way to explain invisible needs and limitations- I use this theory and language often when talking about any chronic need or condition.

NeuroWild has created a beautiful set of images to explain this theory to all audiences, creating accessible language to identify needs and boundaries.

03/14/2024

I love this post for so many reasons. I truly believe knowledge is power. So often we only see the external behaviors and don't stop to consider the internal experience of others, when it is that internal experience that is the core of the person. Also, this highlights the importance of amplifying the voices of those most impacted- people with the specific neurotype! Because it IS so important to understand the internal drives, we need to make space for people to share their experiences, and accept their shared knowledge.

Thank you to Autball for creating and sharing this graphic!

I’ve seen posts talking about how a lot of the things people call “autism traits” (or worse, “symptoms”) are really distress behaviors. Some also go on to explain what autism really is based on internal experiences using non-pathologizing language. Trauma Geek - Trauma and Neurodiversity Education did one fairly recently about ADHD, too.

So I thought I’d do one about PDA (Pathological Demand Avoidance), because an awful lot of people just think PDA = extreme distress behaviors.

It’s really not. The behaviors listed here can happen for lots of different reasons. What makes PDA different from all of those other possible causes is something you can’t tell from the outside looking in. Plus, you may not even see anything at all if you’re dealing with a person who internalizes their distress or has coping mechanisms that help them fly under the radar.

The internal experience is what defines PDA, not a collection of behaviors.

Just like autism is not meltdowns and “poor social skills,” and ADHD is not hyperactivity and and a deficit of attention, PDA is not controlling behavior and aggression. This is one of the reasons why so many of us say, “Look past the behavior to find the unmet need.”

I’ll put a link to Janae’s (Trauma Geek) post about ADHD in the comments, and if anyone has a similar one about autism, feel free to share it! (There’s one in particular I’m thinking of, but I can’t remember where I saw it for the life of me.)

[Image description: Infographic by Autball entitled: PDA vs OUTWARD BEHAVIOR. *PDA = Pathological Demand Avoidance.

A white box with blue text labeled “Internal Drivers” reads: PDA is - Hypersensitivity to the perceived loss of or threat to personal autonomy and Highly sensitive Neuroception.

A larger white box with blue text is labeled “Coping Mechanisms and Stress Behaviors.” It reads: PDA is not -
Saying no;
Doing the opposite;
Arguing;
Hurtful words;
Yelling;
Controlling behavior;
Threats;
Making up excuses;
Complying;
Running away;
Hiding;
Physical aggression;
Getting quiet;
Revenge;
Bargaining;
Pretending to be something else;
Doing nothing;
Doing things their own way;
Doing things while no one is looking;
Pretending not to hear you;
Doing things before anyone can ask.]

02/07/2024

At Delta I strive to meet every child where they are at- offering them the ability to choose when and how to engage with me. I am a stranger in a strange place. They get to control the interaction-- if and when they are comfortable. And when they choose to let me see them, truly see them, it is a beautiful thing. ❤️

For the PDA child, it is most helpful to offer choice, while avoiding asking them to choose.

What does this mean?

It means being open to flexibility and change.

It means offering consistent openness and receptiveness to dynamic, evolving, fluctuating needs that are driven by a constantly shifting nervous system response, highly attuned to the ever changing landscape of life.

Choice is the offering with love, and without condition.

Asking them to choose is the condition.

Choice is saying "Yep, I got you..", and refraining from expecting them to choose is the "Yeah, I'm serious. I'm here, I'm committed and you are not obligated to take me up on my offerings."

It is absence of demand attached to the offer.

Unconditional.

Safety.

-KF

01/05/2024

THIS. 100%. Children should have the information so that they can better advocate for themselves. When assessing a child, I explain I am trying to figure out how their brain learns, understands, and processes information to help them, their parents/caregivers, and educators support them in the best ways possible.

I think you're doing your kid a disservice by not telling them what's going on with diagnostic appointments.

You are doing them an even greater disservice by keeping the diagnosis from them.

First step is telling them about their brain so they can get to know it.

Them and you, both.

Em 🌈