Jeffries Counseling & Consulting Services

04/27/2024

04/27/2024

04/27/2024

When tension is high and nervous systems are escalated, it can be really, really difficult (if not impossible) for partners to emotionally help each other out. In this case, it’s better to bring up the tough stuff during calm, connected moments. The problem is that it’s hard to bring things up during these times because nobody wants to ruin the good moments…and there’s wisdom in that because it is really important to make sure there are plenty of low-stress moments where couples can just be and enjoy each other.
A good way to do both…table topics when tensions are high, while not pushing things under the rug…is to plan regular check in times. Some advice around check in times: do something physical like walking or tossing a ball back and forth while talking about hard stuff…doing so can assist nervous system regulation (create calmness); each partner take turns having space for their concern; and stick to one concern at a time. ❤️

*xmarriage

04/27/2024

04/27/2024

Knowing how to recognize an unhealthy relationship — and help the person who’s in it — isn’t always easy or straightforward. Educator Katie Hood and community advocate Karen Mason…

04/27/2024

12 Books To Understand Everything

04/27/2024

04/27/2024

A toxic disposition hiding just beneath the surface.

04/27/2024

04/27/2024

Q: Who should use the Lifeline Chat program?

A: Anyone who is depressed, going through a hard time, needs to talk, or is thinking about su***de can use the chat. The chat counselors are here to listen and support you through whatever difficult times you may be facing

04/27/2024

Even better if you intentionally take a walk in the woods together, use the time to address a problem you haven’t had space talk about so it doesn’t fester (make sure you’re curious about each other’s perspectives), and agree to approach the topic like a team. Recognize if this tense topics causes you to enter a negative cycle, catch it, apologize and repair and get back to the topic, finish that up by emotionally validating each other, which will leave you feeling so connected you’ll want to have s*x behind a tree (which is probably illegal so better to wait until you get home).

04/27/2024

Thank you, Renewed Hope Parenting!❤️

04/27/2024

Counseling Awareness Month celebrates the counseling profession as well as the individuals who do this important work. ACA member Monica P. Band, owner of Mindful Healing Counseling Services in Washington, D.C., rests her therapeutic and advocacy work at the intersection of mental health and diversity, equity, and inclusion.

https://www.counseling.org/cam

04/27/2024

04/27/2024

Mealtime can often turn into an anxiety-ridden battleground of wills, when what we really want is a fun-filled opportunity to connect and reflect with our child. We want our children to eat all the food on their plates at every meal, and for plenty of good reasons: we don’t want food to go to waste; we want our little people to be well nourished; we associate ‘eating everything’ with good health; we worked hard to prepare the meals and want to feel like it was appreciated.

But believe it or not, using such a simple, common phrase like “finish your food!” can backfire. Pressure to eat can lead our children into an unhealthy relationship with food. Rather than follow their hunger cues, they may feel shame, guilt, or an obligation to eat, even if they’re not hungry.

So let’s practice replacing “Finish your food!” with language that supports our children’s emotional and physical health. Here are 6 phrases that support behavior modification in a loving, helpful way. (via https://gozen.com/6-standoff-ending-phrases-to-replace-finish-your-food/)

04/27/2024

Anxious partners tend to come in hot, rely on protest and blame to be heard, and have an urgency to resolve the problem right then and there. They have good reasons because they’ve had many experiences in life and the current relationship of feeling unheard, invalidated, and unresolved. Avoidant partners have had experiences of conflict leading to fights, feelings of failure, overwhelm, and being misunderstood. They tend to react to signs of conflict by trying to make it go away…get their partner to see how they’re “wrong,” disengaging, etc. None of this is going to work, so it’s important for each partner to recognize their “negative cycle patterns” and practice doing things differently. It’s so important to remember that healthy conflict takes practice. You will mess up, you will fall back into old patterns. The most successful couples can, when things are calm, talk about what was new about the fight or argument, what they still need to work on, and keep trying to grow. The single most important part of conflict is doing it with emotional safety. These are some questions to get you thinking, and this account has tons of information about all of it. Additionally, my book Secure Love is meant to guide couples through all the nuances of negative cycles: how to manage them, escape them, prevent them, and repair them.