Dr. Tess M. Kilwein

04/27/2026

Youth sports should be fun FIRST! 🏃‍♀️⚽🏀

In my most recent Psychology Today post, I discuss how youth athletes can be competitive and still enjoy sport. Parents and coaches have a responsibility to make sure winning never matters more than joy, connection, and well-being.

And most importantly, if a sports environment is asking a child to sacrifice joy, safety, or identity in exchange for success, adults should not call that commitment. They should question the environment.

Youth athletes can be competitive and still enjoy sport. Parents and coaches have a responsibility to make sure winning never matters more than joy, connection, and well-being.

04/21/2026

Going to have something so exciting to share with you all soon! Don’t meet your idols (or do).

04/12/2026

Had a stellar weekend in Chicago providing on-site well-being and performance support to creators and performers at E###OTICA on behalf of Pineapple Support. 🍍

Pineapple Support is a nonprofit dedicated to making mental health care accessible for every person working in the online adult industry, from individual therapy and support groups to education and training. 🥰

E###OTICA celebrates s*xuality in all its forms, blending live entertainment, education, and real connection. Inclusive by design and built on access and expression, the event brings fans, performers, and creators together in an open, affirming, unapologetically s*xy space. 💃🏼

Grateful to be a part of these two organizations - never a dull moment!

04/08/2026

I am no longer talking about LGBTQ+ inclusion in sport.

Because it's not enough.

It's time to talk about liberating and celebrating LGBTQ+ and other minoritized identities in sport environments so all athletes can live and perform to their highest potential. 🏳️‍🌈 🧠

Read about why liberation, not just inclusion, drives both well-being and performance in my new Psychology Today post.

LGBTQ+ athletes deserve more than inclusion. Liberation and celebration in sport unlock both well-being and performance.

04/03/2026

What does it really feel like to be a q***r athlete — to show up every day in a sport you love while wondering if your teammates truly have your back?

Thanks for hosting this important discussion, College is Fine, Everything's Fine podcast!

https://open.spotify.com/episode/2oa1VNzr5O3TEOkP2CRfas?

College Is Fine, Everything's Fine · Episode

04/01/2026

April Updates from Unapologetic Psychology 🌿✨

Welcome to the April newsletter from Unapologetic Psychology! Here’s what we’ve been up to:

🎙️ Dr. Kilwein Joins XPOSURE™ Ventures Podcast - Exploring identity development within the context of high performance.

🧠 Mental Performance Services Are for Everyone - How how performance skills translate beyond athletes to other high-pressure environment.

🏒 What the US Hockey Controversy Reveals About Gender Inequity - Gender-based experiences and opportunities in sport for Psychology Today.

🏅 Dr. Kilwein Awarded an APA Presidential Citation - Honored for contributions to psychology, advocacy, and advancing equitable care for rural communities.

📘 Clinical/Counseling Sport Psychology Association Releases a Sport Psychology Overview - A resource that clarifies sport psychology roles.

More to come in April! Stay tuned. 👀

🔗

Updates from Unapologetic Psychology

03/30/2026

Athletes face pressure from every direction: on the field or court, from coaches, fans, and even online critique. It’s no surprise that, at times, this pressure can take a toxic turn.

I recently joined Amber Freeman, host of Bloom Health in Tampa, FL, to discuss the dangers of the “gold or bust” narrative, especially for young athletes.

When success is defined only by winning, we risk undermining confidence, identity, and long-term well-being.

In this conversation, we explore:
• How outcome-only mindsets shape athlete identity
• The hidden costs of pressure, perfectionism, and burnout
• Why redefining success supports both performance and mental health
• What coaches, parents, and systems can do differently

Athletes deserve environments that develop them as whole humans, not just performers.

🔗

The Toxicity of the "Gold or Bust" Narrative | Bloom

03/24/2026

Grateful to be a part of the American Psychological Foundation's reviewer team for the Dr. Christine Blasey Ford Grant.

The annual grant supports graduate students and early career researchers conducting innovative work focusing on the understanding, prevention and/or treatment of the consequences of exposure to traumatic events such as s*xual assault, s*xual harassment and/or r**e.

Applications are open!

🔗 https://ampsychfdn.org/funding/blasey-ford/

03/16/2026

Another impactful meeting of the American Psychological Association’s Committee on Rural Health in DC. 🌾🏛️

Following the passage of our APA resolution prioritizing the behavioral health needs of rural communities, we are now focused on developing a toolkit for those serving these areas. This toolkit will emphasize recognizing rural context, clinical care, workforce and training, community-based approaches, and advocacy efforts.

A huge thanks to APA President and the rest of presidential trio for acknowledging the committee’s work.

03/11/2026

It took me a while to talk about this because I was trying to make sense of it.

It’s not that I “don’t care” about Donald Trump’s s*xist joke, the U.S. Men’s Hockey Team laughing along, or the expectation that the women would participate in an Saturday Night Live segment that seemed designed to smooth over the controversy.

It’s just that I’m not surprised.

In this new Psychology Today, I write about why this moment became a distraction from what should have been the real story: the U.S. Women’s Hockey Team accomplishing one of the greatest feats in sport.

More importantly, I explore how viral controversies often distract from the structural inequities women athletes continue to face, including unequal resources, lower pay, limited media coverage, and layered barriers for LGBTQ+ athletes and women of color.

A viral US hockey controversy sparked debate about s*xism in sport. But focusing on one moment distracts from the deeper gender inequities that many women athletes still face.

03/05/2026

Excited to share that Beyond Averages: Uncovering Within-Person Links Between Sleep and Performance in Division I Collegiate Football Players has officially been published! 🎉

This project examined the daily, within-person relationship between sleep and athletic performance in NCAA Division I football players, using wearable technology to capture both sleep (ŌURA) and performance load (Catapult) during fall training camp. Rather than treating sleep and performance as static variables, we modeled how they influence each other day-to-day within the same athlete.

Sleep is often discussed as a recovery tool in sport, but the relationship between sleep and performance is dynamic and bidirectional. Understanding these daily fluctuations can help coaches, sport scientists, and clinicians make more informed decisions about training load, recovery, and athlete well-being.

Huge thanks to my collaborators and the Vanderbilt University football student-athletes who made this work possible!

📄 Read the article here: https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/full/10.1080/02701367.2025.2608371

A robust body of research links greater sleep duration and quality to improved athletic performance and competitive outcomes. However, many athletes, particularly collegiate football players, strug...

03/03/2026

Had a blast spending the evening with the University of Minnesota Morris Women's Softball Team promoting an affirming team culture!

Softball has higher rates of LGBTQ+ identity than the general population, and this team competes on the historic grounds of the Morris Industrial School for Indians, important contexts we held in mind throughout our time together.

Inclusion is a PERFORMANCE variable. When athletes are scanning for threats against their identity, they are not focused on the game. Team inclusion frees mental bandwidth that athletes need to compete fully.

This conversation was about competitive advantage as much as culture!

Thank you Coach Pennie-Roy and Director of Counseling Jeanne Williamson for inviting me to spend some time with your student-athletes and your overall investment in developing an affirming team culture.

Roll Cougs! 🐆