
12/18/2024
The energy at the end of this year feels very heavy. But I know I'm being prepared. I am being buried in the soil for a long rest so I may bloom in the return of the light. I let the soft earth hold me. I soak in her moisture. I seek safety in the darkness. I reach into the warmth of the sun. But most of all, I surrender to the discomfort and learn to trust everything I'm experiencing. I have no other choice.
I didn't complete any of my projects for this year, but I did start most of them. Looking back at my list, I didn't achieve any of the goals I set for myself. I am trying like hell to give myself grace for what I am judging as failure. Because if I were talking to myself from the outside as a friend, I would see the bigger picture. I would tell myself that I did the best I could this year. That I worked really hard internally. That I healed. I healed so, so many layers, deeper than I've ever gone before. And perhaps doing this was more important than measurable goals. I certainly ended this year softer and kinder. And I practiced my theme for the year, which was Surrender. Which was really, really hard.
And so this year after careful deliberation, I once again found myself with a list of words that I could choose as my theme, words like Brave. Alignment. Renewal. But one word seemed to encompass everything I am seeking to embody this year. Home. Home within my own body, my own spirit, my own mind. To be my own shelter and safety while I figure the world out. To trust in the Home I'm taking with me everywhere I go. To continue my path of surrender from the comfort of my internal Home. And to be a Home to anyone else who seeks one. I'll leave the light on for you.
Is this too on brand for my Cancer sun? 😅 I love you all. What are you being prepared for in 2025? If you've chosen a word, drop it in the comments ❤️