01/30/2026
Self‑compassion is one of those concepts that sounds simple in theory and feels surprisingly hard in practice. Many of us were taught to push through, toughen up, or “be grateful” instead of turning toward our own pain with any real warmth. But self‑compassion isn’t about letting ourselves off the hook. Self-compassion means creating the internal conditions where healing and change can actually take root.
Kristin Neff describes self‑compassion as a blend of three essential capacities:
mindfulness, common humanity, and kindness toward ourselves. Mindfulness helps us notice what’s happening inside without getting swept away or shutting down. Common humanity reminds us that struggle is part of being human, not a personal failure. And kindness invites us to respond to our own pain the way we would respond to someone we care about.
When these three pieces come together, something shifts. We stop relating to ourselves as a problem to fix and start relating to ourselves as a person who deserves care. Self‑compassion matters because it changes the quality of our inner world. It softens shame, reduces reactivity, and helps us stay connected to our values even when things feel overwhelming. It’s not a quick fix, but it is a practice that slowly reshapes how we move through hard moments.
If you’re learning this skill, go gently. And if you'd like extra support, our talented team of therapists would be happy to come alongside of you.