Zenola Diggs, MMFT

12/15/2025

“I’m sorry, but a man who destroys your mental health cannot be the love of your life. Never.”
Love is not meant to leave you in a constant state of anxiety, walking on eggshells, or questioning your own reality. It is not supposed to drain your energy, silence your voice, or make you feel like you are too much while simultaneously never being enough. The person who is truly meant for you will not repeatedly hurt you and then call it love, or blame you for the wounds they caused.

The love of your life will not make you doubt your worth or shrink yourself just to keep the peace. They will not manipulate your emotions, minimize your pain, or convince you that suffering is a sign of devotion. Real love is consistent. It is safe. It allows you to breathe, to be yourself, and to feel secure even during conflict. It challenges you to grow, not to survive.

No matter how intense the bond feels, how strong the attachment is, or how many good moments exist between the pain, love that costs you your mental health is not love — it is harm. Someone who truly loves you will care about your emotional well-being as much as their own. They will protect your heart, not break it. Love should feel like home, not a battlefield.

08/29/2025

How do you know you’re entering a new season in your marriage? The sense that things are shifting can manifest in different ways.

05/18/2025

There's nothing like open and honest communication to be certain...

If a man doesn't call you it's because he doesn't want to call you. If he doesn't invite you to go out it's because he doesn't want to see you. If he treats you like s**t it's because he doesn't care. If he lets you go it's because he doesn't want to be with you. When a man says "I'm not ready, but you are the love of my life and the only one that I want, but now is not the right time." It's simply because he doesn't want you. Don't keep playing his confusing games. Don't justify him. When a man wants to be with a woman, he stays with her without lies, excuses, and complications. Stop being genuine and naive, and stop justifying his every excuse and complication and put yourself first. You DO NOT need someone that doesn't know what they want, you DO NOT need someone that doesn't see your worth. You deserve a man that knows your worth and fights for you everyday. Stop breaking your own heart for someone who probably won't even be as good as you expect and give yourself an opportunity to be happy and be with someone who actually deserves you.

04/19/2025

Worth Considering...

04/14/2025

Relationships....

If a woman behaves like a child, it's because she's with a real man. She feels safe.

If a woman behaves like a mother, it's because she's with a boy. She feels like she has to raise him up.

If a woman behaves like a man, she's with a weak man. She's been forced to step in and be the leader.

If a woman behaves anxious and in need of constant reassurance, it's because she's with an unfaithful man. She doesn't have trust issues. It's him who has loyalty issues.

If a woman behaves unsettled and always feels like quitting the relationship, it's because she's with an unprotective man. He leaves her to fight against the people in his life instead of shielding her and their union.

If a woman is always overworking, she's with a lazy man. She feels financially exposed, and she's trying to make up for the difference.
The point is that a woman's behaviour is often a reflection of the energy she's receiving from her man.

Does every woman have their own growing to do with or without a man? Yes, of course.

Even so, a relationship can turn a woman into someone she's not.

Even when a woman has done her growth and inner work, she could still become very dysfunctional if she's with the wrong man.

Because of this, before you diagnose yourself with depression or anxiety or declare yourself unfit for love, check the type of men you've been dealing with.

What role have they been casting you into? A good woman is not just submissive. She's also responsive.

Always confirm if your stressful behaviour is truly coming from you, or if it's just a response.

03/30/2025

Test driven or fully committed?...

03/16/2025

The Things Unhealthy Soul Ties Are Made Of....

03/06/2025

Many people believe narcissists want to stay friends after breakup so they can keep using you for attention or resources (supply). While that’s true, there’s another reason hidden to many, and that is to validate their bad behaviour. If you remain friends after everything they’ve done, it sends a message that their manipulation, lies, and abuse were okay. It lets them believe they’re superior, entitled, and successful. Your friendship becomes proof that their toxic actions were justified. It also tells that you’re the problem and that they’re tolerating you out of the “goodness” of their heart. The best solution is to cut them off, heal and move on. This will help you discover yourself once again and avoid attracting another narcissist in future.

03/05/2025

02/23/2025

Men, pay attention....

02/19/2025

I endorse this post...

Before you get married..
discuss bills, parenting styles, credit, debt, religion,
how to deal with family, what beliefs will be instilled in your children, childhood traumas, sexual expectations, financial expectations, family health history,
mental health history, bucket list, dream home, careers and education, political views and whatever comes to mind.

Love alone isn’t enough.

02/06/2025

In the world of on-line dating, it is very easy to get sucked into the Love Bomb. Beware and guard your heart!
Love Bombing :
Love bombing is when a person overwhelms you with grand displays of affection. They might send you extravagant bouquets every day for a week, or tell you that they love you early on in the relationship.

Psychologists note that narcissists and sociopaths may engage in love bombing to gain the other person's trust.