05/26/2025
The reason to start THINK OUT LOUD, Let’s Talk Mental Health Organisation is to support young mentally ill people, suffering with depression.
The passion to support mentally unwell and to raise mental health awareness, came to me in VISION..........
I vividly remember feeling like an outsider to both my family and the world around me. I felt unsafe, fear that I could not explain and people around me could not know what i was going through, as I could not talk about it. Nowhere felt safe for me, home or out there, felt like an unsafe world for me. The fear of unknown that I could not describe or dare talk to anyone about. I now look back to understand how this fear infested itself in me, I realise it started when I lost my farther. I was a little girl of twelve years old, I didn’t know or expect any of my parent would die, or die before me.
I had a classmate who had lost his brother, who was also a pupil in my school on road accident, that is the only death I had known about at my age. We were all given permission to attend his funeral on the day. From the time we went to the funeral as school kids to support our peer, I was terrified to go near the coffin when we were given chance to see the body. After the viewing the body, the preaching by the revered conducting funeral ceremony repeatedly said, “the death of this boy was premature” and the parents don’t have to bury their children, but children should bury parents. I felt the preaching was right, as personally I didn’t want my parents to die before me. I kept thinking and praying I don’t want my parents to die before me. Not long after the funeral of our peer’s brother, my father died of road accident. The death scared me, I lost faith in God and asked many questions. Why God to allow my father die, when I had prayed hard not to see any my parent die. As a good kid, I believed anything I pray for would happen. This came to me as a great shock with questions why my father died and why I had to lose him after all my requests to God. I had always thought and believed none of my parents would die before me.
However, the death of my father was the beginning of a painful journey that was not expected not only by me, but everyone in the family. My mother 38yrs old widow was left to be the bread winner for the family, no support from anyone neither her family nor our father’s family and not even any government initiative for families.
TO CONTINUE..........
