12/10/2023
In the past few months, I found myself lost in many moments of confusion, questioning if I’m doing enough, if I’m on the right path.
When I was a child, I wanted to be a singer, dancer, a performer, and I did that for a period of time. But then it became unsafe for me, shining too much made others uncomfortable, jealous, violent even. The oppression & shaming of young girls developed self-loathing in me. It was safer to live under the beliefs of “better to be quiet, to stay small, to not speak up, to not be seen.” If I let myself be free, I could literally be destroyed. Fast forward a couple decades, I’m in a different environment, a different culture, where healing is available and self-love possible. I’ve centered the majority of my adult life on healing and cultivating self-love.
As I was cleaning my apartment today, I saw a pile of my business cards. Then I thought, what’s there to be confused about? I am the CEO of my own business, Body Wisdom Sanctuary, and it’s growing and thriving. I took it as a sign to go back to deepening my relationship & reconnecting with the wisdom of my body, to find sanctuary within this beautifully tiny but mighty vessel, to love every part and every fiber of my “home.” What a beautiful experience to be able to witness the resilience of the human spirit (in me and others). What an honor to be able to do the work that I do. I am re-committing myself to this sacred work, as an embodied movement guide and teacher, a compassionate bodyworker, a healer.
Later, I decided to do a little gazing at myself in the mirror, admiring & loving the face I have, the strength of body I inhabit, noticing all the details, all the perfect imperfections. Just like that, I was falling in love with myself again! I’m grateful to be alive, grateful to have this body, to experience this life. I vow to take exquisite care of my body, to love myself completely, and if that helps a little corner of the world to also care for and love themselves, then that’s enough. (But I want more 😂 that’s for later!)