09/23/2025
Here’s what I tell the parents and it's usually the moment everything starts to shift:
Your ADHD kid doesn’t need a better routine. They need a better reason.
Let that sink in.
If your child’s brain is driven by interest, urgency, or novelty (hello, dopamine), but your plan is built on discipline, consistency, and long-term goals…
…it’s never going to work. Not because you’re doing anything wrong, but because the system was never built for their brain.
So here’s the real shift, and it’s big:
STOP Trying to Make Them “Do Homework”
START Helping Them Build Momentum
Homework isn’t the goal.
Momentum is.
Dopamine is.
A feeling of progress is.
The real work is helping them experience what it feels like to be successful, even in tiny, tiny wins.
Here’s what that actually looks like in practice:
Let them "win" first.
Start with a task they can absolutely crush in 3 minutes or less. Doesn’t matter if it’s related. The goal is: "I can do something hard." That’s dopamine. That’s momentum.
Make boredom the enemy, not them.
If the task is boring, their brain will fight it like a threat. It’s not attitude, it’s biology. Inject novelty: a timer, a challenge, a race, a weird voice, a different room. Anything that makes the task spark.
Co-regulate before you educate.
If your kid is dysregulated, NOTHING productive is happening. Get calm first. Homework comes after. Not negotiable.
Get out of the “punish and push” loop.
Most parents are stuck in a cycle of: “You didn’t do it → I’ll take something away → You’re more stressed → You do it less.”
That’s not behavior management. That’s a trap.
Let them have a say, even in one small thing.
ADHD brains crave autonomy. Let them choose the order, the pen, the playlist. Doesn’t matter what, just give them some control.
And Here’s What I Tell Every Parent:
You’re not trying to raise a compliant robot who gets homework done on time.
You’re raising a kid who knows how their brain works, and who has the tools to work with it, not against it.
Homework is just one place to build that skill.
And if no one’s ever taught you how to do that, you’re not behind. You’re just getting started.