AK Psychotherapy

AK Psychotherapy bio.site/alyssakushnerlcsw

LCSW in NYC, NJ, DC, & MD passionate about supporting teens and adults with relational & complex trauma, ptsd, anxiety, burn out, codependency, people pleasing, and alcohol use.

Happy Thanksgiving šŸ§”šŸ¤Žā£ā£A gentle reminder you don’t have to be the peacemaker, the fixer, or the emotional buffer today.⁣...
11/27/2025

Happy Thanksgiving šŸ§”šŸ¤Žā£
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A gentle reminder you don’t have to be the peacemaker, the fixer, or the emotional buffer today.⁣
You just get to be human. ⁣
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And that gratitude & thankfulness doesn’t take away from the struggles! We can hold both. ⁣
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šŸ‚Your needs matter today⁣
šŸ‚Your boundaries are important today⁣
šŸ‚You can take up space today⁣
šŸ‚You can and should eat what your body tells you ⁣
šŸ‚And no, you don’t actually need alcohol if you don’t want it! ⁣
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Hope you have a peaceful day full of love, food, comfort and joy.

Thanksgiving is basically the Olympics for people-pleasers.⁣⁣Family, food, travel, noise, old patterns - it all gets act...
11/26/2025

Thanksgiving is basically the Olympics for people-pleasers.⁣
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Family, food, travel, noise, old patterns - it all gets activated at once.⁣
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If you catch yourself over-explaining, over-apologizing, scanning people’s moods, or trying to keep the peace -⁣
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It means your nervous system is doing what it learned to do: prevent conflict and keep you safe.⁣
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Just notice the pattern, pause, and choose you a little more than you used to.⁣
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Your needs matter this week, too šŸ§”šŸ‚

So many over functioners grew up managing the emotional temperature of every room you walked into.⁣⁣Not because you want...
11/25/2025

So many over functioners grew up managing the emotional temperature of every room you walked into.⁣
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Not because you wanted to… but because you had to.⁣
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If you still notice yourself scanning for tension, smoothing things over, or stepping into the fixer role during the holidays - it’s because holidays re trigger old roles! ⁣
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Please know: ⁣
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You don’t have to take on that job anymore.⁣
Let adults manage their own discomfort.⁣
You’re allowed to stay connected to your needs, not everyone else’s.⁣
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✨ Save this for later if you need the reminder.⁣

11/24/2025

I say annual because I find myself sharing a similar sentiment every year⁣
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And that’s because while Thanksgiving and other holidays can be SO fun, I find that most of the clients I speak to are feeling very stressed by them.⁣
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It’s so normal to feel overwhelmed around this time of year, I feel it too! There’s a lot of plans and a lot of expectations.⁣
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In my video I also talk about why it’s harder for people pleasers.⁣
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And give some reminders 🧔⁣
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Your needs matter⁣
Your boundaries are healthy⁣
Your feelings make a ton of sense⁣
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It’s okay not to feel joyful! It’s okay to feel grateful AND to struggle.⁣
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Sending love!

Every year I give some reminders that the holidays can be quite overhelming and stressful! So much pressure to feel joll...
11/23/2025

Every year I give some reminders that the holidays can be quite overhelming and stressful! So much pressure to feel jolly and grateful, lots of plan, extra family time, highlighting of where you feel you were ā€œsupposed to be.ā€
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ESP for people pleasers and empaths which I’ll certainly be talking about more all week.⁣
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In this post I break down why they’re so impactful in general and also why for people pleasers it can be double triggering.⁣
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I also talk about some reminders to get you through!⁣
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And in my blog,⁣I go into depth on all of it plus extra tips!⁣
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Check it out https://www.ak-psychotherapy.com/blog-posts/why-the-holidays-feel-so-stressful⁣
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Or link in bio šŸ‚

Here are some small tangible ways to give yourself a little kindness šŸ’• esp around holidays and seasonal changes - be goo...
11/21/2025

Here are some small tangible ways to give yourself a little kindness šŸ’• esp around holidays and seasonal changes - be good to yourself!!! You deserve it

Resentment is often the last line of defense after we’ve over-given, over-functioned, or ignored our own needs.⁣⁣It’s no...
11/20/2025

Resentment is often the last line of defense after we’ve over-given, over-functioned, or ignored our own needs.⁣
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It’s not a failure - it’s information.⁣
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It’s a signal to come back to yourself.⁣
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Same with bitterness, simmering anger, and suppressed emotion! ⁣
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These are all SIGNALS to be listened to.

Inner child work is about giving yourself the validation, compassion, and needs you didn’t get growing up.⁣⁣It’s also ab...
11/19/2025

Inner child work is about giving yourself the validation, compassion, and needs you didn’t get growing up.⁣
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It’s also about permission to be a kid again and play and just have fun!⁣
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Here are some mantras if you’re doing this type of work.

Avoidant attachment isn’t just being ā€œdistantā€ or even ā€œcold.ā€ ⁣⁣It’s a nervous system going, ā€œCloseness feels good… but...
11/18/2025

Avoidant attachment isn’t just being ā€œdistantā€ or even ā€œcold.ā€ ⁣
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It’s a nervous system going, ā€œCloseness feels good… but also too much and too overwhelming.ā€ā£
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You can care deeply about someone and still feel the urge to retreat the moment things get intimate.⁣
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That doesn’t make you cold. It makes you someone who had to learn self-protection early.⁣
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And you can unlearn it, slowly, with safety!⁣
And if you’re on the receiving end of it…it doesn’t mean they don’t care or love you. ⁣
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It can be shifted and changed but does require work and the desire to get therapy. ⁣

When your body hasn’t learned what safety feels like, even healthy relationships can feel overwhelming.⁣⁣Your anxiety do...
11/17/2025

When your body hasn’t learned what safety feels like, even healthy relationships can feel overwhelming.⁣
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Your anxiety doesn’t mean something is wrong - it means something old is being activated. ⁣
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You fear rejection, abandonment, and being hurt. And so every micro movement may signal to you something’s off or bad even when it’s not!⁣
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Takes time to find safety internally but that’s a big foundation of this work

11/13/2025

People pleasers and over givers here’s a simple tip!⁣
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ā€œI’ll get back to you about thatā€ ⁣
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Easy. You don’t have to give an immediate response and in fact that’s when the automatic or even compulsive ā€œyesā€ happens.⁣
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Stop, slow down, say that and then go over a few reflection questions I talk about to then determine if it’s genuinely a yes.⁣
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You’ll find how much you’ve prob said yes to that wasn’t an accurate depiction of how you feel or what you have capacity for honestly.⁣
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Thoughts?

Sometimes what looks or even feels like calm is actually self-protection.⁣⁣Hyper-vigilance, control, or emotional numbin...
11/12/2025

Sometimes what looks or even feels like calm is actually self-protection.⁣
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Hyper-vigilance, control, or emotional numbing can all be ways your nervous system tries to keep you safe!⁣
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But internal safety comes from connection from being grounded in your body, present with your emotions, and learning that you can handle what you feel.

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