AK Psychotherapy

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United States
New York, NY
AK Psychotherapy

LCSW serving NY, NJ, MD & DC. Also offer: support groups, workshops, & consultation. bio.site/alyssakushnerlcsw

Therapy for anxious over-givers, high achieving perfectionists & hyper-responsible people pleasers ready to stop self-abandoning and start building self-trust.

04/28/2026

If you read all 3 of those and felt called out… hi, same.⁣
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Taking up space isn’t something most of us were taught. It’s something that got conditioned OUT of us - through correction, through rejection, through learning that smaller was safer.⁣
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And your nervous system remembers all of it.⁣
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But I strongly believe that what was learned can be unlearned. Your body isn’t molded that way forever. It’s doing exactly what it was trained to do. So it can be retrained!⁣
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If you’re ready to start understanding what’s actually happening in your body when you shrink, go silent, or disappear - grab my free Nervous System Workbook. Comment “nervous” or linked in bio 💕⁣
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Educational content only - not a substitute for therapy. Follow for nervous system education and real talk on people-pleasing, hypervigilance, over-giving, hyper-responsibility and self-trust.

04/27/2026

The peacekeeper role is exhausting your body and here’s why⁣:
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You say : “I don’t care, you pick” so many times you’ve genuinely lost track of what you actually want.⁣
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Someone’s annoyed with you and it’s not discomfort - it’s a full body alarm. ⁣
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Heart racing, chest tight, mind already running through every possible way to fix it.⁣
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You watch other people just… exist without apologizing for it. And what you feel isn’t just frustration, it’s actually grief. For the version of you that never got to do that.⁣
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Your shoulders are by your ears. Your jaw hasn’t unclenched in years. You have been holding other people’s emotional comfort in your physical body and calling it being a good person.⁣
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This is really all a nervous system stuck in threat mode.⁣
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The peacekeeper pattern runs super deep and it starts way before you were old enough to know that’s what you were doing.⁣
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I’m sending my next newsletter tomorrow all about this - what it actually is, why it happens, and journal prompts to start working through it 🤍 ⁣
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Link in bio to get on the list.⁣
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Educational content only - not a substitute for therapy. Follow for nervous system education and real talk on people-pleasing, hypervigilance, over-giving, hyper-responsibility and self-trust.

04/24/2026

You were never too much.⁣
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You were in rooms that required you to be less.⁣
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Or: spaces where you didn’t even get a chance to have your feelings, your needs, your opinions. ⁣
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And somewhere along the way, you started believing these internalized beliefs were right.⁣
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When your nervous system learned that shrinking kept you safe - you start to believe you’re too much. ⁣
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Save and like this if it landed 🩷⁣
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Educational content only - not a substitute for therapy. ⁣
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Follow for nervous system education and real talk on people-pleasing, hypervigilance, over-giving, hyper-responsibility and self-trust.

04/22/2026

The version of me that kept abandoning herself thought she was being a good person.⁣
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She was just really good at disappearing.⁣
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But constantly felt exhausted, frustrated and resentful. ⁣
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So here’s what I do now - not because I read it in a book, but because I had to learn the hard way what it costs to keep putting yourself last:⁣
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🌸 Daily body and mind check-in. I spent years holding tension I didn’t even know was there. Now I actually ask.⁣
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🌸 I ask what I need and want before I ask what everyone else needs. Revolutionary concept, apparently. And yes, it takes time to even be able to answer but you have to start asking to get there. ⁣
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🌸I removed alcohol. It was making it impossible to hear myself - and I needed to start listening.⁣
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🌸Sleep is non-negotiable. Full stop!!!⁣
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🌸 I follow through on what I promise myself. Even tiny tiny promises. That’s rebuilding trust.⁣
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Healing from self abandonment takes time and getting to know yourself again, slowly day to day. But it can be done and it’ll feel soooo good!⁣
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These aren’t hack, they’re just repairs.⁣
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Educational content only - not a substitute for therapy. ⁣
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Follow for nervous system education and real talk on people-pleasing, hypervigilance, over-giving, hyper-responsibility and self-trust.

04/20/2026

People pleaser: what I say vs. what I actually mean (part 2) 🫢⁣
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“It’s totally fine” - she said, already drafting the apology she doesn’t owe anyone and mentally replaying the conversation on loop until 2am.⁣
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If your mouth says “no worries” but your nervous system is in full threat response - this one’s for you!!⁣
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People pleasers often say something so automatically they don’t even realize until after it’s not truly what they meant. ⁣
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Save this if it resonates. Send it to your group chat. You know who needs it 🤣⁣
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Educational content only - not a substitute for therapy. ⁣
⁣
Follow for nervous system education and real talk on people-pleasing, hypervigilance, over-giving, hyper-responsibility and self-trust. ⁣

04/17/2026

Conflict doesn’t feel like a disagreement when you have a dysregulated nervous system.⁣
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It feels like a threat! Often it feels like it means the relationship is about to end
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And no amount of logic talks you out of it - because this isn’t coming from your brain. It’s coming from your body - telling you you’re not safe.

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Comment “hypervigilance” to get the free guide with 4 tools to calm the spiral.⁣
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Educational content only - not a substitute for therapy. ⁣
⁣
Follow for nervous system education and real talk on people-pleasing, hypervigilance, over-giving, hyper-responsibility and self-trust.

Address

New York, NY
10006

Website

http://www.ak-psychotherapy.com/

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