AK Psychotherapy

AK Psychotherapy bio.site/alyssakushnerlcsw

LCSW in NYC, NJ, DC, & MD passionate about supporting teens and adults with relational & complex trauma, ptsd, anxiety, burn out, codependency, people pleasing, and alcohol use.

I see this pattern so often - and I’ve lived it too!! ⁣⁣Calling yourself “easygoing” or “low maintenance” can feel like ...
01/26/2026

I see this pattern so often - and I’ve lived it too!! ⁣
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Calling yourself “easygoing” or “low maintenance” can feel like a compliment.⁣
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But if it means you’re constantly swallowing preferences, defaulting what other people want, staying quiet, or keeping the peace at your own expense… that’s not security.⁣
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Real ease comes from knowing what you want, trusting yourself, and letting yourself be seen - even when it risks discomfort or disagreement!!⁣
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If this hits you may be people pleasing and self abandoning but discussing it as having very little needs of being the “chill one”⁣
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Odds are you’re actually feeling a lot inside, seeping with frustration, resentment and feeling unseen. ⁣
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You learned this for a reason. And it can be unlearned :)⁣
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Link in bio to subscribe to my monthly newsletter where I talk all about this, give tips, and also read my blogs for more!!!⁣
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01/25/2026

A reminder: healing doesn’t always look serious.⁣
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Turns out our nervous systems also need moments of silliness, movement, joy, laughter and play - even (especially) on cold days.⁣
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Sometimes it looks like running around in the snow and letting it be enough. ⁣
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Though after this I will be staying inside and doing all the cozy self care.⁣
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What are you doing today?

For today and tomorrow since many of us will be having chill, cozy, weekends inside. Might as well get your self care on...
01/24/2026

For today and tomorrow since many of us will be having chill, cozy, weekends inside. Might as well get your self care on 🧖‍♀️❄️

Self-abandonment is a learned survival strategy.⁣⁣For many people-pleasers & high functioning codependents - it once mea...
01/23/2026

Self-abandonment is a learned survival strategy.⁣
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For many people-pleasers & high functioning codependents - it once meant staying connected.⁣
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Now it often means feeling anxious, resentful, or invisible in relationships!⁣
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Awareness is the first step toward changing the pattern as always. ⁣
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But know sometimes ir shows up in small subtle ways. Here are some of them!

You don’t have to cut people off to protect yourself, sometimes that’s too rigid and not even what you want ⁣⁣You can lo...
01/22/2026

You don’t have to cut people off to protect yourself, sometimes that’s too rigid and not even what you want ⁣
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You can love someone deeply⁣
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AND⁣
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decide how much access they have to your time, energy, and nervous system.⁣
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Boundaries aren’t about punishment or being cold and blocking people out. ⁣
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They’re about creating sustainability in the relationship so resentment doesn’t quietly replace care over time! ⁣
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You’re allowed to limit how much you engage with a persons drama or chaos if it’s causing negative feelings for you constantly.⁣
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Or limit HOW you engage.

01/20/2026

Over-explaining looks like:⁣
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Giving soooo many details when you say no, apologizing for everything, and getting to justify yourself constantly.⁣
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It’s not just a personality quirk, it’s usually a way you’re trying to soothe your anxiety and discomfort and manage the outcome of the other persons reaction.⁣
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In this video I explain what’s going on!⁣
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If you want to learn more and dig deeper….check out my latest blog on it - link in bio or⁣
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Www.ak-psychotherapy.com/blog ⁣
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Do you over explain?? Lmk

In addition to physical tiredness, so often it’s also emotional!⁣⁣The thing about anxiety and always monitoring other pe...
01/18/2026

In addition to physical tiredness, so often it’s also emotional!⁣
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The thing about anxiety and always monitoring other people, anticipating their needs, and waiting for the other shoe to drop (aka hypervigilance) is that you’re chronically on alert and in a fight flight state.⁣
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Sooooo, later you’re gonna crash!! That’s exhausting to have your system always turned up. ⁣
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Here are some ways to shift it.⁣
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And if you wanna learn more - I wrote a blog a while ago - link in bio or⁣
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Www.ak-psychotherapy.com/blog ⁣
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And download my free lil nervous system workbook to get started on this work :) ⁣
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If you have been told to sit with stillness, rest more, and enjoy the peace - but you feel deeply anxious, restless or u...
01/16/2026

If you have been told to sit with stillness, rest more, and enjoy the peace - but you feel deeply anxious, restless or uncomfortable with it, this post and blog is for you!!⁣
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Swipe for reasons why calm can ironically create more anxiety and peace feels threatening.⁣
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Especially if you’re always waiting for the other shoe to drop this is probably very familiar.⁣
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And if this post resonates, check out my blog on it to go in more depth!⁣
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Link in bio or ⁣
Www.ak-psychotherapy.com/blog⁣
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Lmk if you feel this deeply!

Reparenting is about finally giving your adult self what no one taught you to name, need, or ask for. It’s about meeting...
01/16/2026

Reparenting is about finally giving your adult self what no one taught you to name, need, or ask for. It’s about meeting your own needs! ⁣
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It’s the tiny shifts that matter: eating before you crash, asking for support without apologizing, choosing relationships where your nervous system can feel safe, and pumping up your wins.⁣
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Little by little, you build safety an trust with yourself!

01/15/2026

Most high-achieving, anxious, people-pleasers learned to measure themselves by output -⁣
not how they felt while doing it.⁣
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But your nervous system actually rewires through gentleness, pacing, permission, and self-regard… not through tons of pressure!⁣
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Learning to ask “how can I be kind to myself while I do this?” is where capacity expands, burnout softens, and self-trust starts to build 🫶⁣
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Sometimes the way we learned to cope growing up gets mislabeled as “dramatic,” “oversensitive,” or “too much.” Or we lea...
01/14/2026

Sometimes the way we learned to cope growing up gets mislabeled as “dramatic,” “oversensitive,” or “too much.” Or we learn through conditioning that our needs should be minimized and our boundaries will be over-rided. ⁣
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But through a trauma-informed and nervous system lens, those same behaviors make a lot more sense! ⁣
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In therapy we slow down, make space for what’s underneath, and untangle the patterns that once kept you safe but now keep you stuck!⁣
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For me - while I’m here to validate and support you- I will also challenge, guide and give feedback. Therapy is a two way street with me!⁣
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Lmk if any of these slides resonates ❤️

01/13/2026

When you’ve done the work to be able to set boundaries, express needs and lay out your expectations to others and guilt tripping doesn’t work…..👏⁣
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The best feeling!!!! Lay them out, be direct, hold your ground.⁣
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If guilt tripping does still trigger you…that’s normal! It just means you’re unlearning patterns or maybe your nervous system still needs some regulating so it doesn’t feel like the end of the world.⁣
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Follow, like, and save if this is your 2026 mantra ✨ #2026

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