Mary Gale Gurnsey, LMFT

11/27/2025

Gratitude doesn’t mean pretending everything’s okay.
It’s a gentle way to calm the body and reconnect with the present moment.
One small thing is enough.
🧡 What’s one thing you’re grateful for today?

11/22/2025

So many trauma symptoms are actually hormonal symptoms.
When the nervous system is stuck in survival mode, hormones like cortisol, progesterone, estrogen, testosterone, and thyroid stop working in harmony.
That’s why you can be “doing the work” emotionally but still feel anxious, exhausted, irritable, foggy, or dysregulated.
Your body isn’t broken — it’s overwhelmed.
And restoring hormonal balance is often a missing piece of trauma healing.
Save this for later and share with someone who needs it. 💛

11/21/2025

Kids don’t need married parents. They need a safe one.
Divorce isn’t what harms children — losing emotional safety is.
Attachment research shows that kids rely on the caregiver who is emotionally stable, predictable, and attuned. This “secure base” protects their nervous system during stress.
In high-conflict situations, frequent transitions, long separations, and unpredictable emotional environments overwhelm a child’s biology — increasing cortisol, anxiety, regression, and distress. This isn’t “acting out.” It’s a nervous system under stress.
Kids don’t need equal time.
They need stability.
They need emotional safety.
They need their secure person.
Protecting the secure caregiver is protecting the child.
References: Bowlby (1969), Ainsworth (1978), Sroufe (2005), NICHD (1997–2006), Gunnar & Donzella (2002), Schore (2012), Main & Hesse (1990), Lyons-Ruth (1996–2003), Waters & Cummings (2000), Johnston & Campbell (1993), Amato (2000), Kelly (2000).

11/14/2025

Most people think “attachment style” is a personality quiz.
It’s not.
Attachment is your first blueprint for safety, belonging, and connection.
It’s the way your nervous system learned to survive — based on the environment you were raised in.
If you grew up with inconsistency, misattunement, chaos, fear, emotional absence, or caregivers who couldn’t regulate… your system adapted.
Those adaptations become the “patterns” you see in adulthood:
• shutting down
• clinging
• avoiding conflict
• craving closeness but fearing it
• feeling empty, anxious, or mistrusting
• repeating the same relationship cycles
• struggling to feel safe with people
These aren’t flaws.
They’re trauma imprints.
The beautiful part?
Anything learned through relationship can be rewired through relationship — safe people, honest feedback, community, co-regulation, and somatic trauma therapy.
Your patterns make sense.
Your healing is possible.
And you don’t have to do it alone. 💛
Follow for more trauma-informed education and nervous system healing.

10/21/2025

“Tough love” taught many of us to survive disconnection.
To be strong instead of seen. Independent instead of supported.
But that wasn’t love — it was emotional survival.
Real healing means learning self-trust *inside* safe relationships, not outside of them.
💡 Tough love builds walls. Safe love builds people.

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10/19/2025

05/23/2024

Check out my blog post https://wix.to/o681HiW

three easy steps and what not to doStep oneSifting through the vast options. There are lots of databases that help you narrow down options, for example, if you want to see a male therapist versus a female or if you want to see someone in person, do they accept insurance or a sliding scale; some of t...

05/23/2024

Check out my blog post https://wix.to/qnOt5xp

three easy steps and what not to doStep oneSifting through the vast options. There are lots of databases that help you narrow down options, for example, if you want to see a male therapist versus a female or if you want to see someone in person, do they accept insurance or a sliding scale; some of t...

05/23/2024

Check out my blog post https://wix.to/S9BSppp

three easy steps and what not to doStep oneSifting through the vast options. There are lots of databases that help you narrow down options, for example, if you want to see a male therapist versus a female or if you want to see someone in person, do they accept insurance or a sliding scale; some of t...

10/19/2022

You are loved ❤️

And if you're in need of extra emotional support, we're here for you. Text with us at 988. You can also chat with us online at 988lifeline.org/chat.