01/03/2026
https://www.facebook.com/share/p/1KDPvdesUm/
Happens in families too…
“When Ignorance Becomes Cruelty: Understanding HIV Stigma in 2025
Yassin Chekkouh (pictured here) shared his story on The AIDS Memorial: after a week of great conversations and genuine connection, they planned to meet someone for a date. Minutes before meeting, the other person asked if he was “healthy." He answered yes—he exercises a daily, doesn’t smoke, doesn’t drink. But that's not what was being asked. The real question was about HIV status. When he disclosed he was HIV positive and undetectable, he was immediately blocked. No conversation. No kindness. Just instant rejection and silence.
This story matters because it shows how ignorance and fear continue to harm real people in 2025, decades after we've had the science to know better.
The Medical Reality
Here are the facts: When someone is HIV positive, on treatment, and has an undetectable viral load, they cannot transmit HIV through sexual contact. This isn't controversial—it's established medical fact supported by massive studies and endorsed by every major health organization worldwide. This principle is known as U=U: Undetectable equals Untransmittable.
Someone who is undetectable is taking their medication consistently, getting regular medical care, and monitoring their health closely. They often know more about their health status than people who've never been tested. Calling them "unhealthy" isn't just inaccurate—it's backwards.
Compare this to someone who has never been tested for HIV or other STIs, who doesn't know their status, who isn't in regular contact with healthcare providers. Who is actually the higher risk?
Why It Hurts
The person who shared this story said: "What hurts isn't rejection, but ignorance and stigma." Everyone has the right to make their own choices about dating. But there's a profound difference between making an informed choice and reacting out of fear.
Blocking someone instantly—someone you've been connecting with for a week, someone you were excited to meet—because of three letters is dehumanization. It says: "Everything I learned about you, everything we talked about, all the connection we built, means nothing now. You are reduced to your HIV status and nothing else."
That's not just rejection. That's erasure of someone's entire humanity based on one fact about their medical history.
The Problem with Outdated Fear
We're carrying baggage from the 1980s and early 1990s, when HIV was a death sentence and fear was everywhere. But medicine has transformed completely since then. HIV is now a manageable chronic condition. People living with HIV on treatment have normal lifespans and full lives.
Yet cultural understanding hasn't caught up. Many people's knowledge is frozen in time, based on outdated information and stereotypes. This ignorance isn't neutral—it has real consequences. Studies show that stigma and discrimination are often more damaging to the mental health of people living with HIV than the virus itself.
Here's what makes 2025 particularly inexcusable: the information is available. It's not hidden in medical journals. The facts are searchable, accessible, and clear. When someone discloses their HIV status honestly and that honesty is met with instant blocking, it sends a message that honesty will be punished. It encourages people to hide, to fear disclosure, to avoid testing altogether. Stigma doesn't protect anyone—it just pushes the conversation underground and actually increases public health risks.
What Maturity Actually Looks Like
The person who blocked his date wasn't just ignorant—they were immature. Maturity means handling uncomfortable information with grace and treating people with basic human decency even when you're surprised.
If you're faced with information you don't understand, you have options. You can ask questions. You can say you need time to process. You can do research. You can even politely decline to continue dating while still treating the other person with respect. What you don't do is block someone instantly as if they've wronged you by being honest.
What We Can Do
If you're realizing you don't know much about HIV, that's okay. Ignorance itself isn't the problem—willful ignorance is. Refusing to learn when information is available, reacting out of fear instead of understanding, treating people as less-than because of a health condition—that's the problem.
We can educate ourselves about HIV, treatment, and transmission. Understanding U=U should be as basic as knowing about any other aspect of sexual health. We can examine our reactions and ask: is this based on facts or outdated stereotypes? We can treat people with dignity even when we're uncertain. And we can challenge stigma when we see it, because silence allows it to persist.
The Bottom Line
People living with HIV are not defined by their status. They are not unhealthy, unsafe, or unworthy of love. They are full, complex human beings who happen to have a manageable medical condition.
In 2025, we have the knowledge and tools to end new HIV infections and ensure everyone living with HIV can live fully. What we're still struggling with isn't medicine—it's humanity. It's our willingness to see past fear and stigma to the person in front of us.
The violence of ignorance is real. But so is the possibility of doing better. We can choose education over assumption, compassion over fear, and dignity over dehumanization. It starts with recognizing that three letters don't define anyone's worth, health, or humanity—and acting like it.” 📖 by Edward Kimble
