The Magic Of Birth

07/05/2024

I was delighted yet not surprised to find such honest information about formula/breastfeeding in this pediatrician’s book i enjoyed reading so much.🥰
The most annoying thing in today’s society has to be the lies they tell/believe in order to be “inclusive”. What is more important? To be 100% in integrity, honest and informative OR to be inclusive as to avoid hurting another’s feelings? Hmm.
Let’s be real. “FED IS BEST” is just not true. “BREASTMILK IS BEST” however, *is* true.
If you truly tried and then struggled to produce milk for your baby, that’s OK. It may not feel like it, but it’s ok. We don’t have control over everything in life. If you chose not to breastfeed, that’s ok too! But lies shouldn’t be told to help you feel better about your situation/choices. If you truly research the long term effects in formula vs breastmilk, the true benefits of breastmilk, the ingredients and the effects of formula on your baby, you probably may not claim that fed is best like most defensive mothers do. I will never stand for it. Fed is NEEDED. But it’s not best. Breastmilk is best for human babies, and always will be. The benefits, antibodies, etc. a baby gains from being breastfed is unmatched. Please don’t be fooled into thinking formula is an equal. Educate and inform yourself. CHOOSE to know what you are putting into your baby’s body. I don’t understand the “limit sugar, soda, junk food” etc. families but then they don’t research what’s in each vaccine they give their baby or the ingredients in formula or what advantages/disadvantages it has for their baby.
I’m really thankful to be blessed with the ability to breastfeed my babies and truly hope I retain the capability to educate mothers on breastfeeding, breastmilk, as well as holding space for those who choose not to breastfeed or truly put in the effort to no avail. Women supporting women is what I stand for.✊🏽 we’re simply amazing beings.❤️

01/19/2024

I’m excited to start hosting prenatal village circles.🤩
The first round starting the first week in February through June.🥰
Welcoming pregnant women to gather in this sacred space for connection, questions, concerns, sharing, simply speaking and actually being listened to. Women who are not pregnant and Women who have birthed in power are also welcome. To hold space, to share, to encourage and to support.

We ARE Gathering to:
✅Support
✅Go someplace new ourselves
✅Find something you can’t google
✅Have a direct experience of the self
✅Build sisterhood.
✅Share personal stories
✅Speak from our own knowing and our own experience/s
✅Be with women without being *so* self conscious.
✅Share love and be in community with women who doesn’t have one.

We are NOT gathering to:
❌Solve one another’s problems
❌Quoting extensive opinions of experts
❌Entertain negativity
❌Share birth trauma stories (we can create a separate space for this)
❌Project negativity

While i would ideally love for this to be an in person gathering and to build community within my community, I also realize the world has become one big, convenient, virtual one😅 life is also very busy, i get it.
I have hopes that it will eventually grow into in-person gatherings. Pregnant women need to be touched, pampered and loved on, in-person circles are just SO different, so special and magical, but virtual shall do for now. ☺️

Wise woman, wild woman, curious woman, where are you? 🧐
Please private message me (we’ll vote on day of the week and how often to meet).
**Please note that only a maximum of 10 women will be able to join in this round of village prenatals to manage keeping everyone included, seen, heard and maximize the overall experience for each woman.🫶🏽

12/31/2023

Last day of 2023. Im thankful for all the wonderful families I was honored to serve this year.🥰 To have been invited into your sacred birthing spaces❤️

Wishing you all a wonderful year of blessings, happiness, wisdom and, of course, lots of new babies🤪 for 2024.🙏🏽

I look forward to serving many more wise women in the new year, and all the new exciting things the magic of birth will be offering.✨✨✨
Happy new year!🥳🥳

#2023

11/19/2023

This is heartbreaking, to say the least. But absolutely unacceptable that it’s the second woman in 3 years at the SAME hospital.
My heart goes out to this family, to women. Not only because of the work i do and the things i see. Thinking this could literally be my situation. I’m 30, if i was expecting my 3rd, going into a hospital to birth my baby- this could literally be me. This could literally be so many women. Why is this acceptable? Exactly why I questioned why more women are not ANGRY!🤬
Christine didn’t want a c section, i commend her for speaking up and advocating for herself. But what did hospital staff do? Take authority, as usual. Against her wishes. Heart rates of babies drop in labor all the time. They’re going through labor too. A woman doesn’t birth her baby alone. Babies have so much work to do in the birth process, if they don’t tuck their chin a certain way, they won’t be born va**nally for example. But babies are treated as dumb little things who don’t know anything. Their bodies are squeezed through a pelvis. So much happening for them. This “monitoring” does more harm than good for motherbaby. In homebirths, theres never continuous monitoring. Better outcomes, but if something goes “wrong” in a homebirth, it’s catastrophic but women and babies die in the hospital all the time. Says a lot about our media, huh?😏 Christine’s story wasn’t even found with a Google search on Friday morning, she died on Monday.
The hospital took authority over this woman’s birth and now cannot “comment” or give reason for her death. Exactly why i will never birth in a hospital unless absolutely necessary and those are very rare “reasons” in my book. I will take 100% authority for my birth. If i die or my baby dies, at least i will have peace in knowing i take 100% responsibility and no stranger or random person had a say so in any of it. There’s this false notion that hospitals can prevent things. What’s going to happen will happen. Many things a hospital cannot prevent. They do more harm than good and often times the emergencies they “save” are the same ones they created.
Women, birth and babies are not respected. Yet there are only 2 types of people in this world, MOTHERS and CHILDREN. I’m angry for women. I will stay angry until things really change. Women will discover what power they hold and they won’t allow an institution or system to take that away from them, the “traumatic birth” stories are increasing tremendously and soon women will realize they don’t have to deal with any of it. Just like our ancestors didn’t have to. It’s time to take birth back. It’s been time. Rest in peace beautiful Christine, praying for the family and her 3 babies. No woman deserves this.
Why is systemic racism still a thing?

11/15/2023

What ever happened to right of refusal⁉️ birth is not respected the way it should be. Women are not respected the way they should be. But neither is a problem? I’m angry for women.

10/23/2023

I pray more and more women see right through the “treatment” they receive/d. Recognize it for what it was. Critique your birth. And realize birthing in a hospital is NOT your only option. I understand there are some that’s very attached, reliant and loyal to the allopathic medical system. That’s ok too just don’t attack me.😘
People are allowed to critique. Society just makes you believe you have to shush to “be nice”. You can be nice and still have all your feelings and opinions.

09/28/2023

If they won’t “let” you, it’s your right to LET yourself!

04/29/2023

I should mention “new mother to-be” to me, doesn’t mean “first time mom”. So you don’t have to be a first time mom to enter this giveaway. I believe, we become a new mother every time we birth a new baby! 🤩 birth is just magical like that😍 we birth a new baby- we birth a new mother 🥰
As mentioned, I would love to gift my doula/birthkeeper package to a woman this Mother’s Day.

What do you need to “qualify” to enter?
Just your beautiful pregnant self☺️ and for your guess date to be BEFORE May 19th or AFTER September 19th. I’m Counting 3 weeks before and 2 weeks after your guess date with these dates as I’ll be away all summer. If you know for a fact you’re not waiting until 42 weeks to go into labor then feel free to enter if your guess date is BEFORE June 9th.

How can you enter?
Follow me, then tag 2 women in the comment section and have them follow me as well OR tag 1 pregnant mama so she can also enter for herself!💗
If you’re not in New York and open to virtual support, you can also enter!😊

I will keep track of everyone who qualifies and on Mother’s Day i will post a screen recording of the “draw”, announcing the winner.
I’m excited to gift my services to you! And definitely look forward to connecting with and supporting you however you need during this season and journey of your life. 🫶🏽💕

Entries close on Friday, May 12th at midnight.
❤️❤️❤️

04/20/2023

This shift is giving rise to alternative birthing options, such as home births and midwifery-led care, prioritizing the mother's needs, dignity, and autonomy. These alternatives aim to create a more supportive, nurturing environment for mothers, focusing on childbirth's natural and spontaneous aspects.
Education and empowerment play vital roles in this revolution. As more women become informed about their choices and rights during pregnancy and childbirth, they can make decisions aligning with their beliefs and values. This may include seeking out holistic care providers, attending childbirth classes, or joining support groups to connect with like-minded individuals.
Additionally, societal attitudes and norms surrounding childbirth are slowly evolving. As conversations about the industrial birth system and its shortcomings become more prevalent, there is an increasing awareness of the need for more compassionate, evidence-based care. This cultural shift is crucial in dismantling the oppressive structures within the allopathic industrial system and promoting a more humane approach to childbirth. Ultimately, the transformation in obstetrics and gynecology requires a collective effort from women, healthcare providers, and society. By rejecting the harmful practices rooted in the history of these fields and embracing a more respectful, holistic approach to childbirth, we can help create a future in which women's dignity, autonomy, and well-being are genuinely valued and prioritized.
Too hard for America to do? Looks like it.😵‍💫😵‍💫

03/26/2023

The technocratic model of birth views the body as a flawed machine, with technology taking precedence over your well-being. Within this paradigm, the mother's personal and spiritual self is often disregarded in favor of the technological process of birth. Hospital birth rituals strip the mother of her sense of self, dignity, and agency, reinforcing the power dynamics inherent in the allopathic industrial system.
Complications in the industrial birth context are often intertwined, leading to a cascade of technological interventions. Hospital staff are trained to view pregnancy and birth as pathological processes, with the mother often cast as the antagonist. If compliant, she is seen as the victim of a complex and dangerous process; if resistant, she is framed as a villain, disregarding her child's health while the OB/midwife is almost always the “hero” (Clearly I’ve been learning about the drama triangle we all hop around on 😂, more to come on that soon). They’re mostly the hero bc we all need to be SAVED from this horrible thing called birth.🤨 the way the system, along with society have managed to prevent mothers from embracing this natural, wonderful, magical process of physiological birth is just so unnerving. But again, it’s working exactly as they intended for it to “work”.

03/12/2023

👌🏽 💯

“The skill of being with women in pain in labour often rests in believing in women when they do not believe in themselves.”
– Nicky Leaf

This is one of the most significant skills anyone supporting a Mother in labor can hold. The very "skill" of riding the waves with a laboring woman while leaving her undisturbed is the best way to help her through. A well versed doula or midwife can simply observe a laboring woman, the way she moves her body, the sounds she makes, and fully understand her progress in labor without ever touching her or speaking to her.

© Spot of Serendipity | Birth

03/12/2023

Have you been struggling to identify or NAME what happened to you?
I’ll help you out, since trauma has no hierarchy- if something felt traumatic to you- it WAS traumatic. Let’s start there. We often struggle to identify our trauma as trauma bc we compare it to something else or someone else’s story so we don’t “feel right” in naming our experience/s traumatic.
Having unwanted fingers, hands, instruments, objects or anything else shoved inside your body is called R**E!
This can be hard for women to realize/come to terms with, i get it- it’s so tender & sensitive we just don’t want to go there.
Maybe your doctor r***d your a**s to feel how “severely” you tore & it felt traumatic to you but you felt like you didn’t have a place to share or to even call it trauma because you were being “taken care of” or your life was being “saved”. No. Just no. If you said no, if you screamed for them to stop, if they didn’t ask for consent, if they ignored your crying and begging to stop, or even if you just pulled back or closed your legs- that IS r**e, they should have stopped immediately. And I’m so sorry that happened to you. I’m so sorry that you had a s**tty experience when you *should* have been taken care of but instead, were being “managed” like you’re an object on a table.

Am i being in full integrity when I’m sitting next to a woman, “supporting” her while she gets r***d? Nope bc I’m serving a system, not the woman! I have to sit quietly with my hands “tied” like a good girl bc we don’t communicate with medical staff, we don’t advocate FOR the client. We “help her find her voice”. What🤯 it’s all part of the plan, let’s pretend a laboring woman can advocate for herself at all times 😵‍💫
The secondary trauma is tough- it’s really made me question how hard this actually may be for women who experience it first hand, feeling like they have no space to share this experience in fear of being shamed & shunned bc the professional was “doing their job”. No ma’m, that body is YOURS above all else, your consent is NEEDED. I’ve witnessed in homebirths, hospital births, birth center births, you name it- “staff” ra**ng women with their hands while the woman is screaming and crying for them to stop. The norm of r**e culture within our birthing rooms, absurd!
Please DO be ashamed of yourself if this is your practice! Do you get a kick out of it? Does the power make you feel good? To r**e a woman’s va**na while she is begging you to stop because it hurts & you go “i know i know I’m sorry but i HAVE TO”. You don’t HAVE TO DO s**t! All you HAVE TO DO, is listen to her! The power dynamic needs to STOP. If you find pleasure in this practice, please leave the field & if you’re unaware of the trauma this practice inflicts, make a change TODAY. When you notice a woman (silently) fearful, look her in the eye & ask her “would you like for me to stop”? Before even that, ASK for consent! Don’t come in with gloves & say “open up”🤢 or “today we’re doing a cervical check”🤮 instead, start with “YOU HAVE A RIGHT TO DECLINE but I would like to…”
She’s a human being, & your check boxes are only that. It blows my mind to this day that women still don’t know they can decline cervical checks in labor, OF COURSE you can dear darling! You hold all the power over your body. I know “authority” can feel scary but they’re only figures, you have the real authority.