Todd Baratz

Todd Baratz The private practice of Todd Baratz.

05/06/2026

If your partner asks for something just do it.

05/05/2026

If you have to ask your partner for something and they actually do it, it still counts.

If anything, it counts even more.

I don’t know why we think our partners should just automatically know how to love us perfectly. They don’t have the same needs as us, so they may not naturally do the things we want most.

It’s totally reasonable to want certain things. But it’s not always realistic to expect someone to know without being told.

People are limited. They need to be redirected, taught, and reminded. And if they care enough to listen and try, that’s hot.

A good partner isn’t someone who magically knows everything you need. A good partner is someone who cares enough to listen, show up, and you.

This is the most common thing I hear from you all on here and in session with my clients. It’s been 4 months. It’s been ...
05/04/2026

This is the most common thing I hear from you all on here and in session with my clients. It’s been 4 months. It’s been 2 years. Whatever the timeline is, the thoughts, feelings, dreams, they linger. That’s what grief does.

Stop trying to rush it. Let yourself be where you are. Instead of forcing it to be over, be nicer to yourself. Be kind. Take care of yourself.

That’s actually how you move through it. That’s how you move on.

I can't believe it's May. Its 2026. It's already next year. Where is the time going.
05/03/2026

I can't believe it's May. Its 2026. It's already next year. Where is the time going.

If you reciprocate, I’ll probably c*m.But seriously. In any relationship. From friend to lover to long-term partner, I l...
04/30/2026

If you reciprocate, I’ll probably c*m.

But seriously. In any relationship. From friend to lover to long-term partner, I love when someone reciprocates. When you share in prioritizing the relationship. It’s just nice. This includes all sorts of things. When you see each other. Who texts first to check-in. Who does what, when and how. You switch off.

And while no relationship is 50/50, and that is definitely not the goal, reciprocity in one way or another is important. We have to bring something to the table in our relationships. Effort has to come from somewhere.

You don’t have to curate yourself constantly. Yes. Do the work. But also know when you’ve done enough and can give yours...
04/29/2026

You don’t have to curate yourself constantly.

Yes. Do the work. But also know when you’ve done enough and can give yourself a break.

Because if you never put the magnifying glass down, you’re not being guided by growth. You’re being ruled by anxiety disguised as growth.

04/28/2026

Why leaving isn’t as simple as knowing something isn’t working

We often think about relationships as either “they work” or “they don’t.” But the reality is, whether or not they work o...
04/28/2026

We often think about relationships as either “they work” or “they don’t.” But the reality is, whether or not they work often depends on how much work you’re actually willing to put into them.

And that work isn’t just tolerating your partner, asking them to change, or waiting for them to fulfill your needs.

The real work is taking responsibility for your role, understanding how your history is showing up in the relationship, and then actually changing.

And most importantly doing this together. As teammates. As friends. As lovers.

04/27/2026

When someone represents possibility, relief, and an answer to something deeper, the stakes become incredibly high without you even realizing it. So when it doesn’t work out, or they don’t follow up, or something feels off, it doesn’t land as neutral information. It lands as confirmation of a deeper fear, like maybe this isn’t going to happen for me, or maybe I’m not someone people choose. That reaction makes sense when you understand the layers underneath it, but if you don’t understand those layers, every experience starts to feel disproportionately painful. Dating stops being disappointing and starts feeling existential.

If this is you sign up for my upcoming 5-week workshop on dating. It starts May 3rd. Click the link in my bio to find out more. Hope to see you there.

We’ve been sold a version of love that’s easy, effortless, and always feels good. That’s not love, that’s fantasy. Real ...
04/26/2026

We’ve been sold a version of love that’s easy, effortless, and always feels good. That’s not love, that’s fantasy. Real relationships will challenge you, frustrate you, and expose parts of you that need to grow. That doesn’t mean something is wrong. It means something real is happening.

04/24/2026

Say se######xx! Idk what intimacy even means.

I’m not interested in debating whether this is true, false, healthy, or unhealthy. I’m interested in what happens to peo...
04/23/2026

I’m not interested in debating whether this is true, false, healthy, or unhealthy. I’m interested in what happens to people when they use it. I’m interested in how quickly we take something complex, emotional, and relational and collapse it into a phrase, a buzzword, and some definitive line that feels good to say but often does very little to actually help.

“If they wanted to, they would” often says more about your need for certainty than it does about their behavior.

It is a way to avoid sitting in the discomfort of not knowing. Of not having control. Of having to make a decision that is not obvious.

It is a way to collapse the situation so you don’t have to feel it. But relationships require feeling. They require tolerance for ambiguity, difference, frustration, disappointment, and negotiation. They require you to stay with yourself while also staying in contact with another person.

And that is much harder than repeating a sentence.

The cost of reducing everything is that you lose access to yourself. You stop asking better questions. You stop engaging with reality. You start reacting instead of understanding.

And you end up making decisions based on simplified narratives instead of actual dynamics.

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