Erica Komisar, LCSW

Erica Komisar, LCSW I specialize in a thoughtful and individualized approach to psychotherapy. I treat a variety of issues related to depression, anxiety, and compulsive behaviors.

My background is traditional, but I have developed a very related approach to working with people. I believe the relationship between a therapist and patient is highly individual and should feel like a good match. You have endless choices of well-trained therapists in New York City, which makes specialities and orientations secondary to the relationship and whether or not you "click" with your the

rapist. I work with individuals in life transitions who are at inflection points, often struggling with relationships, work success, and self-esteem issues, as well as setting personal and professional goals for the future. I also treat individuals who struggle with eating issues and other addictions that hinder their development and interfere with their happiness. I have also developed a series of workshops that help parents raise healthy children through a child guidance model. By intervening early, you can prevent depression, anxiety, and compulsive behaviors. in adults. I see parents in my office to help them understand and improve their relationship with their children. And help parents to help their children.

Almost 5 in 10 infants have insecure attachment — meaning they’re starting life without the consistent emotional safety ...
08/13/2025

Almost 5 in 10 infants have insecure attachment — meaning they’re starting life without the consistent emotional safety they need to thrive.⁠
⁠
Attachment shapes everything: how we regulate emotions, build relationships, and cope with difficulties as adults.
⁠
The good news? We can build secure attachment with our children.⁠
It starts with one safe, steady relationship.

Learn how with us at Attachment Circles.

08/12/2025

Nothing holds up a mirror to who you are quite like parenting.

You see your patience — or your temper — reflected back at you.

Your tone. Your reactions. The way you handle the small irritations of life.

And in those moments, it’s clear:
the real work isn’t in the lectures or the lessons. It’s in living as the example.

Because our kids are always watching.

They’re learning what respect looks like, what calm sounds like, how to navigate frustration, and how to recover when they’ve gone too far.

What we model won’t decide exactly who they become. But it will shape their sense of what’s possible — and what’s worth striving for.

And that right there is the real work of parenting:
not just in raising them, but in becoming the kind of human you hope they too will choose to be. ❤️

Quote Credit: ❣️

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08/11/2025

Lately, it feels like we’ve been missing nuance in conversations about parenting. Just because a parent is really present in their kid's life, does that mean they’re crossing the line into being too involved?

There's a clear distinction between being supportive and being overly protective. It appears that we've swung from the extremes of permissive parenting to overly controlling practices, and now we're retreating emotionally from our kids.

In all aspects of life, finding equilibrium is essential, and approaching this quest with empathy is the most effective method.

08/09/2025

If you apologized to your child today, make no mistake, you are changing the world. Every time we treat children as worthy of respect and compassion it has a ripple effect, as they become more likely to treat others the same.

J. Milburn

Learn more about how to repair with your child in my latest 📖

Finding Your Calm: A Responsive Parents Guide to Self-Regulation and Co-Regulation

Link in bio

In my latest Wall Street Journal op-ed, I explore why the popular “FAFO” approach can backfire.While it’s tempting to t...
08/08/2025

In my latest Wall Street Journal op-ed, I explore why the popular “FAFO” approach can backfire.

While it’s tempting to think that life’s toughest lessons should be taught through consequences alone, neuroscience and child psychology tell us something different: Kids need guidance, boundaries, and empathy to grow into resilient, emotionally healthy adults.

Parenting is not about shielding children from reality, but about walking alongside them as they face it.

Read full article here: https://www.wsj.com/opinion/dont-fool-around-with-fafo-parenting-7407cc4c

Small shifts in how we show up can make a big difference for our kids’ emotional health. Here are some changes we can ma...
08/07/2025

Small shifts in how we show up can make a big difference for our kids’ emotional health. Here are some changes we can make as parents in how we model and instill boundaries and emotional resilience, leading with empathy.

Even by kindergarten, boys are lagging in language and social skills. By their teen years, too many are isolated, misund...
08/02/2025

Even by kindergarten, boys are lagging in language and social skills. By their teen years, too many are isolated, misunderstood, and misrepresented, not by choice, but by systems that ignore what they need.

“Why Boys Are Falling Behind—And Why That Matters” explores how a lack of emotional attunement, attachment security, and developmental empathy is sidelining boys in school and life.

This isn’t a zero‑sum fight. Supporting boys emotionally strengthens every part of society: families, classrooms, and communities. https://www.dadsavesamerica.com/p/why-boys-are-falling-behindand-why

I'm excited to share that my upcoming book, The Parent’s Guide to Divorce: How to Protect Your Child’s Mental and Emotio...
07/29/2025

I'm excited to share that my upcoming book, The Parent’s Guide to Divorce: How to Protect Your Child’s Mental and Emotional Health through a Breakup or Separation, is now available for pre-order!

This book is my response to the emotional toll that separation can take on children—and a compassionate guide to doing things differently.

Inside, I share:
✔️ How to talk to your child about divorce in a way that supports their development
✔️ What helps children feel safe and emotionally stable
✔️ Tools for co-parenting without conflict harming your child’s mental health
✔️ How to prevent long-term anxiety, insecurity, and emotional fallout

If you're navigating a divorce or supporting someone who is, I hope this book will provide you with a source of strength and clarity.

Pre-order here: https://wwnorton.com/books/9781682689769

Recently, I’ve been reflecting on the profound connection between emotional attunement and intergenerational healing.In ...
07/28/2025

Recently, I’ve been reflecting on the profound connection between emotional attunement and intergenerational healing.

In my clinical work and personal life, I’ve seen how many of us carry invisible wounds from childhood—wounds that began with emotional disconnection, however unintentional. And I’ve also seen how powerful it is when a parent decides to show up differently: to be present, to attune, to see their child truly.

That kind of presence doesn’t just nurture a child’s development—it rewires the legacy of trauma. It’s how we break the bridge between what was and what doesn’t have to be.

In my latest piece, “The Truth Isn’t Anti-Woman,” I delve into the uncomfortable yet necessary conversation about maternal presence, feminism, and the emotional needs of young children.

This isn’t about judgment or nostalgia for a past that never served many of us. It’s about choosing truth over ideology. It’s about protecting children’s mental health—and in doing so, helping parents heal their own unmet needs.

I hope you’ll read with an open heart and share this message with someone who might need it today.
👉 https://open.substack.com/pub/ericakomisar/p/the-truth-isnt-anti-woman?r=4p285u&utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=web&showWelcomeOnShare=true

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Psychoanalyst | Parent Coach | Author

I am Erica, Komisar, a psychoanalyst and parent coach who has been in practice for over 25 years. I specialize in a thoughtful, individualistic approach to psychotherapy. My background is traditional, but I have developed a very related approach to working with people. I believe the relationship between a therapist and patient is very individual and has to feel like a good match. I treat a variety of issues related to depression, anxiety, and compulsive behaviors. I work with people in life transitions who are at inflection points who may struggle with relationships, work success, and self-esteem issues and set personal and professional goals for the future. I also treat individuals who struggle with eating issues and other addictions which hinder their development and interfere with their happiness. I have also developed a series of workshops which help parents raise healthy children through a child guidance model. By intervening early, you can prevent depression, anxiety, and compulsive behaviors. in adults.

In April 2017, my book Being There: Why Prioritizing Motherhood in the First Three Years Matters was released by Tarcher Perigee.