Mindful Marriage and Family Therapy

Mindful Marriage and Family Therapy Mindful Marriage and Family Therapy is a Manhattan based private practice for individuals and couples.
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If your authenticity doesn’t have a safe landing place…look more closely. Healthy dynamics will not ask you to betray, a...
03/02/2026

If your authenticity doesn’t have a safe landing place…look more closely. Healthy dynamics will not ask you to betray, abandon, disconnect from Self in order to be in relationship.

Happy gentle Saturday.
02/28/2026

Happy gentle Saturday.

This week’s newsletter titled “My husband and I got into a fight” is a beautiful teaching on reparative experiences. If ...
02/26/2026

This week’s newsletter titled “My husband and I got into a fight” is a beautiful teaching on reparative experiences. If you’d like to get it in your inbox (and you’re not already on my newsletter list) comment NEWSLETTER below and I’ll send you a link. It goes out tomorrow (2/27).

Okay…disclaimers first. Very often we are contributing to the problem at hand, so it’s important that we stay self refle...
02/23/2026

Okay…disclaimers first. Very often we are contributing to the problem at hand, so it’s important that we stay self reflective and open to feedback. I am not suggesting that this is true always and in every case, but I do want us to begin to recognize the dynamics where there’s an emphasis on you with no or very little emphasis on them. Okay? That’s what we’re examining here. The relationships that make you the problem.
Because making you the problem serves something.
If you’re the problem then they don’t have to look at themselves. If you’re the problem they don’t have to reflect. If you’re the problem they don’t have to change. If you’re the problem they don’t have to grow. If you’re the problem then people can feel sorry for them. If you’re the problem then they’re not. You see how that goes?
Sometimes people must make you the problem, the energy, the villain in the story to protect them or help them avoid facing a part of themselves that they’re not quite ready to face or part ways with.
Being on the receiving end of that is no fun. It’s not easy to hang out in that space, so I want you to try a few things.
1. Identify what your contribution is and own it. Acknowledge it for yourself. Identify where your growth opportunities are.
2. See their part too. Get clear with it even if they can’t.
3. Consider what making you the problem protects or helps them avoid.
4. Decide how you want to engage with someone who needs to hold in this position at the expense of you.
5. Work on releasing needing to control the narrative. What does it look like to allow them to see you as the problem or convince others of this too.
6. Remind yourself that the story another believes or tells doesn’t make it true.
7. Remind yourself of what you know to be true.
Rinse. Wash. Repeat. Over and over and over again.

This week’s newsletter is on the topic of resentment. If you get my emails, you’ll read more about it tomorrow. If you’r...
02/19/2026

This week’s newsletter is on the topic of resentment. If you get my emails, you’ll read more about it tomorrow. If you’re interested in receiving this, comment NEWSLETTER below to add yourself to my list. E-mail goes out Friday, Feb 20th 🧡 on this tender subject.

Have you thought about it this way before? We can want so badly to have a relationship, but if we know a relationship re...
02/17/2026

Have you thought about it this way before? We can want so badly to have a relationship, but if we know a relationship requires vulnerability (which was mocked and ridiculed as a child), then it makes sense why we might find ways to avoid relationship. We can want great partnership and say we’re prioritizing it, but if great partnership requires presence (something that you never received in your past), then you might feel so unfamiliar with it that you find ways to avoid partnership altogether. I think you’re getting the picture.

But high expectations are not only found in our dating lives and romantic relationships. What are your high expectations keeping you from/blocking/PROTECTING you from when it comes to friendship, to your parents, to your child?

Just a gentle reminder, I’m not simply asking you to lower your expectations. I’m not asking you to drop your bar. I’m asking you to reflect on whether chronic high expectations are helping you avoid something that needs your attention. I’d love to hear your thoughts below!

This quote from has stood the test of time for me. It’s been a favorite since the first time I heard it and on v-day (r...
02/14/2026

This quote from has stood the test of time for me. It’s been a favorite since the first time I heard it and on v-day (regardless of your feeling about it) I find this quote to be valuable and grounding, and relevant regardless of relationship status. It’s not a competition of alone vs togetherness, but rather an honoring of how each can feel so full and so meaningful. Do not confuse “Sweeter” with rainbows and butterflies — sometimes the sweetness of relationship is going through hard moments and learning something profound about yourself or the one you love. 💕

What’s your relationship with your alone?

02/13/2026

Said with love, always. Your honeymoon phase might be lovely (although loving you is limited because knowing you is limited), but once you get into the integrated love phase you ought to know that it’s not a stroll in the park for every chapter of life you face together. Anyone who sells you that either hasn’t been in a relationship, is suppressed in said relationship, hasn’t worked with people in relationships, or all of the above. This is not all doom and gloom. Of course, you will have many MANY chapters of joy, and love, and pleasure, and excitement, and connection, and ease, fun, and playfulness. I hope that weaves in and out of your life and relationship frequently. But if you are growing and healing in this relationship, you’ll have to make space for the disappointments, the rebuilding, the acceptance, and beyond.

There is an original identification of the loss - the death of a loved one, the recognition that a parent will not be th...
02/13/2026

There is an original identification of the loss - the death of a loved one, the recognition that a parent will not be the parent you wished they would be, or the ending of a friendship that you wanted to maintain. You might feel big feelings when the above happens or when you acknowledge the loss for the first time. But it’s not one-and-done.⁠
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We can feel the loss in the big and obvious moments as well as the more subtle ones. The loss of that loved one shows up again in the moments you wish they were present for. Your graduation. Your wedding. A hard time in your life when you’d normally have turned to them for guidance. The birth of your first child. Or simply a text you wish you could send. The grief you thought you addressed resurfaces as you begin caretaking a parent at the end of their life and are reminded you’ve been the adult in every chapter. These moments, and endless others, bring you back into contact with that original loss…just in different ways.
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So today I offer you the reminder that grief doesn’t just happen once. It happens every time you come back into contact with the loss. And in those moments you can expect to feel again. How very tender it is. But every time you feel, you’re also healing.
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This is the goal. To have enough safety and security and trust in your relationship where you can bring things forward, ...
02/08/2026

This is the goal. To have enough safety and security and trust in your relationship where you can bring things forward, where you can trust the struggle, where you believe in your (and their) ability to reconnect, reunite, reflect, and make it through to the other side. Of course we want this in our romantic relationships, but it’s also at the core of our friendships, our parent/child relationships, really our dynamic with any intimate relationship in our lives. It’s at the core of secure attachment. Today I ask you to reflect on whether you are that person for others. Can people bring things up to you and can they trust that it’s okay to do it. Can they offer you feedback that you’re willing to reflect on? Can they trust that you can go through a hard thing and come out the other side okay?

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